I dont know were to go - I love her but I cant have her

[Hummers]

This is my first time ever poasting.

I came here because i am sick of feeling alone. Im 20 years old and i worry so much about what is going to happen.

 

My problem.

I met a girl. We went out for almost 3 years. So much of my life became intertwined with hers. I felt like it would be an everlasting experiance, i have had other long relationships but this one was different. It was majical. The happiest times of my life became times with her.

 

The problem is me. I am not a good boyfriend. i messed up. I used to end up neglicting her, mostly because i i was so scared. Scared of ....... im not even sure. ontop of the damaging effects of my personality i wasn't faithfull. not a constant thing just once when i was out of the country. She still wanted me back. and we tried for a while. But when i look at who i am and who she is and were we both are in life i think its better if we dont go out. I made my decision and told her. I love her and i cant have her.

 

Its both my own decision and fault. it doesnt make it any easier.

 

I see her all the time because in the 3 years we went out she became friends with my friends. I cant get away and every time i see her i just want to break down and cry.

 

I have dreams that itl all be ok. that we can handel just being friends and good friends and then some were some day when we are both growen we could try again.

 

If only i had the intergraty and selflessness of humprey bogard in cassablanca i would be alright.

 

I have no one to talk to about this because its all to close to home for my friends so if u read this/posted thank you

 

p.s. im sorry about the spelling mistakes.

[hoppy26]

i dont know if this will help but ill try........im in a very simular situation except im not the one who broke it off. my ex is very confused and lost in her life. she cant even really explain her actions, decisions, etc. she told me she broke it off because she knew i deserved more then she could give. she has issues that only SHE can fix and work out. no matter how much i tell her i love her, want to help her it just wont change a thing.

she is choosing to take this destructive path she is on and only she will know when it needs to end. i cant even put into words the way this makes me feel. being pushed away from somebody you love with all your heart and she loves you aswell is something i hope i never have to go through again. she ended it all with "for your own sake you should move on....i dont want you to but its for your own good". i feel helpless and lost..........but i know only she can change. maybe my story will put into prospective your situation. your lost, confused....etc. imagine what your ex must feel. you need to work out your life to be fair with her.