Learning to Date Again

[vastbluewinter]

Hi all & thanks in advance for the responses!

Okay, my story in a nutshell: I've just come out of a 5 1/2 year relationship w/ a guy i've been with since graduating high school & he just moved out a couple of months ago. we still talk & it's definitely still very much an emotionally laden relationship, though i'm not sure i'll ever be able to forgive/trust him again. now, i'm in grad school & i've got a crush on one of my classmates, but i'm really out of the loop when it comes to playing the dating game & he is the king of mixed signals...whatever. anyhow, i'm not quite sure how or where to meet guys that i'll connect with...i'm 24 and working on my master's in clinical psych - still young by any means, but too old to relate to most undergrads. i'm not religious, so meeting people at church is out, i live in a very small town, and the sex ratio in this grad program is crazy...about 10:1 females so, except for crush-boy, odds are i'm not going to meet mr. right (now) through class. sorry if this post seems scattered (it's my first), but basically, i hate being single, i feel out of the loop when it comes to the dating scene, and i'm not quite sure how to meet guys i can relate to...any advice?

[Sup2]

Is he playing the friendship thing or the "helpless man game"? He may not know what is important to you... probably cutting off his own sexuality in order to appear less threatening to you.

[BazookaMike]

What..?

 

Hey vastblue, there are some great people to meet a church. Don't necessarily count that out. I'd say go out get some new clothes work on yourself while you're waiting. What are some of your interests? Find a way to work that into meeting new people. Meet some fellow ladies and meet guys though them. Start talking to everyone you see. Have fun. Being single is not all bad. Just don't forget to make yourself glow all the time, even when you're feeling down. Take it easy single lady.

[Sup2]

Yeah - maybe join a sewing circle too.

[WorkingThruIt]

WellI have to say that if you are not religiuos, then Church is not the place tomeet someone, since they would probably be religious and that might be an immediate conflict.. but I get ahead of myself..

 

The thing that sticks out to me the most is your posting that you hate being out of a relationship, and it sounds as if you are desperate to jump right back in one! I dont think that sounds like such a good idea personally. I think you need to spend some time being happy with yourself. If you can not be happy with yourself, how can you be truly happy in a relationship?

 

now lets not kid ourselves, a 5 and 1/2 year relationship is a long time, and to someone 24 its practically a lifetime! I think you are just feeling uneasy and a little insecure about being single. you no longer have that stability, or emotianal security, and it will take some time to get used to those things.

 

My advice would be to stay casual about anything with the crush, and just try to have fun. When you meet someone and the time is right for you to step back into another relationship, it will happen for you. In the meantime.. sounds like you are busy enough with school, and that you should spend your precious little free time just enjoying yourself. I hope I dont sound preachy or anything, just my advice.

[raggamuffin]

Oh my god i know exactly how you feel...Its like how do i start dating in the adult world!! Ive only done it in highschool and thats completely different. Im not sure if I have any answers except for go to events that interest you ie. sport games and you might meet men there thats what im doing at the moment and Ive caught the eye of a couple of guys!!