Good Looks when it comes to Attraction

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Kinda simple question. How much does good looks come into play when it comes to attraction? 50%? 70%? More? Thanks.

[Mrocza]

I don't know actually...

I mean, "looks attract, but personality keeps"

 

I admire good looks and appreciate beauty but if a person has a nasty attitude my perception of them changes. It's not possible to be beautiful if you're an ugly person.

 

I tend to find the little things attractive anyway...it depends on the person.

[skyblue1]

I think looks are important to me i would say 70%

[Dako]

Hard to say, because intelligence is one of my biggest turn ons, but I can't deny other factors. 60% maybe.

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[orangecounty]

Oh boy, it really depends. There are guys I've been incredibly attracted to but that's all it ends up being if they don't have a personality to back those good looks. Then again, I while ago I met a guy who was shorter, a little on the pudgy side, not incredibly handsome and I got all giddy and couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't figure out what it was that was attracting me to him, I still haven't figured it out,hehe I guess it's just him, everything that makes him up as a person. Not really a short answer, but I don't think there is. For some people it's incredibly important, others not so much. I think you should be somewhat attracted to your partner, it's important. It doesn't matter how unattractive anyone else thinks he/she is, but rather how you feel.

[Dako]

WP

I think this is subjective, so I'm not about to argue that my POV represents a universal fact.

 

By your own admission, a person might put up with more BS to be with a physically attractive person. Might that extend in the other direction, and a brilliant woman might be exciting even if she's not a stunner?

Seems logical. doesn't it?

[heloladies21]

As far as girls attracted to guys looks, it really doesn't make any kind of difference because looks are such an obviously surmountable obstacle by developing your ability to communicate with them.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

looks are important, but of course people all have different ideas of what looks good and what doesn't. to me there are other things that either attract me or repel me, that don't really have anything to do with looks. for example, if a guy is good looking (to me), but his mannerisms or manner of speaking comes accross as effeminate (to me), then i just can't go there. maybe that's just me. or if a man is average looking, but i really like his personality, then that could be different. i don't know if i could put it in a percentage, though.

[Luke Skywalker]

I've heard that it was said, on askmen website or something, and other sources, that guys are more visually stimulated when it comes to looks, while gals tend to see how someone is coming accross - of course looks would be part of that. Gals are typically looking for 'confidence', a confident tone, confident posture, and the dress to go with it. Thus, if your looks aren't top notch, but you can project a positive and successful or badboy image with whatever you have, then you would come accross as attractive anyway.

[Lita43]

Good Looks are the first you see, but what you see "Isn't Alway's What You Get!!!"

 

Some of the "Hottest Guy's You Will Meet", totally SUCK!!!!

 

Pretty Boy Models that don't even have any self-esteem of their own and will only mess you up and confuse you because they are so insecure!!!!

 

It goes the other way for really beautiful women and feel so sorry for all of them!!!!

 

It's kind of a catch 22 and the whole concept really does come down to insecurity.

 

I'm so pretty/good looking that my mate thinks I will find somebody better, so then they cheat and it's only because they think that "They're Not Good Enough!!!

 

It's insecurity on both sides without open communication which is mostly an experience "age thing."

 

What I've found on my path to where I am now, is totally about communication and not about some kind of competition of who will hurt or dump somebody first and shows low self-esteem and uncerainty about themselves!!!

 

I have been with alot of "Pretty Men" and I feel so sorry for them, but I would rather be with somebody that's "Pretty Inside" and incidentally, My Hubby Is and I am!!! We are both pretty attractive anyway, but it's more about your insides than your outside.

 

He is pretty to me both inside and out, so I will look no further!!!! For almost 15 years we've been together and I am so "Blessed!!!"

 

My first "Love" of my life was way overweight and shy, but the cutest thing on the universe!!!! We were together for 4 years and he broke up with me!!!

 

I was devistated, but I couldn't give him what he needed 100% as I was still a child of 16.

 

Cried and moured as if my "Love" had died, but I was the one dying inside and thought this was the end of "MY WORLD!!!"

 

Pain is meant as a learning tool and not saying it's an easy deal and even feeling the same pain to even talk about it!!!!

 

Just being reminicant of it makes me feel the "Big Hole Again", so know that I feel where you are, but better things are coming in your future, so hold on!!!

 

I have thought of him over the years and has been 31 years to be exact and will always have a love in my "Heart" for him!

 

Contacted him once on "Classmates" and he never wrote back, but know he is married and even where he lives.

 

One time I traveled with my family for over 7 hours and looked him up in the phonebook from a popular restaraunt up there that I know.

 

In retrospect, leave the sleeping dogs lie and don't even go there!!!

 

My first Love will always be with me, but I have moved on to a much greater Love, although he will never be forgotten!

 

Take Care!, Lita~

 

God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me!

 

Quote: "Every Day You Don't Learn Something New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

[FoxLocke]

Hmmm, for me maybe 40%. Because, primarily, I am looking for someone who I like to be around. If he's good looking that's like a total bonus...

But overall I really want intelligence and kindness.

 

Don't get me wrong I don't want someone that is dog ugly. I would just be delusional and lying to myself.

However, he doesn't have to look like a movie star to win my affection.

 

Personality and intelligence combine for 60% whereas looks, which are the initial attraction, accounts for 40%.

[spunkmaster]

It really depends for me. When I am actually looking to meet someone, then I'd say probably between 60 and 70%. However...if I'm in a situation where I'm not looking, but a guy goes out of his way to get my attention, then I am more than happy to reciprocate and get to know them some, even if they're not all that attractive in my opinion. My high school sweetheart was that way...I originally didn't find him all that attractive, but he did something really sweet for me, so I took the time to get to know him, and we ended up dating two and a half years, over a year of which became long distance after he joined the Navy.

 

So it really depends on the situation and what type of person you're wanting attention from, because I'm sure not all people are like me; some people are just too stuck-up/hung up on themselves to give a lot of people the time of day.

[hosswhispra]

Hard to say, because intelligence is one of my biggest turn ons, but I can't deny other factors. 60% maybe.

 

I agree with Dako, intelligence is one of my biggest turn-on's too. I always fall for the "dorky-nerdish" types.

 

Kyo, beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. What someone finds attractive, someone else may find unattractive....and vice versa. If someone is attractive to look at but has a rotten personality, that is a no-go for me. Personality is the biggest thing for me.

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

yes, and i even personally believe that both a 'sense of humor' and 'intelligence' are pretty relative and also subjective as is beauty, all in the eye of the beholder. i find that if i like someone, i tend to think they're pretty funny, pretty smart. if they like me, the same.

[Mrocza]

I agree with Dako, intelligence is one of my biggest turn-on's too. I always fall for the "dorky-nerdish" types.

 

Kyo, beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. What someone finds attractive, someone else may find unattractive....and vice versa. If someone is attractive to look at but has a rotten personality, that is a no-go for me. Personality is the biggest thing for me.

 

Lol, me toooo.

 

If a guy can express his opinion and knows what he's talking about, he's got my attention. I like to have something to talk about with a guy other than the usual date stuff....

He has to love to read, too.

[Sylph]

Again what people say and actual do are two vastly different things. In the end hormones and primal instincts still rule the game of relationships...

I'd like to take this oppurtunity to prove that statement wrong.

 

I don't think looks are that important, they matter but only to a small degree. I'll gladly say admit that I was with someone who was over weight, and I don't mean they had just a little meat on the bone either. And some how I managed to fall in love with this person too. And for your information the only reason we broke up was because she cheated on me~

 

I feel some greater justice has been done here today.

[Dako]

This is a hot topic with the guys I hang out with. With few exceptions, we get loopier over smart women. Granted, we are over 30, so the T&A hangup has eased up, but when a smart lady joins us to chat at the park, the boys get very attentive. This is in a spot where distracting bikinis are common.

 

Maybe I just get tired of women being defined by Madison Avenue or their target demographic of twentysomethings. Maybe I just like women. Whatever.

 

Sylph is da man!

[Spawn]

as long as the person is human....i think looks doesn't matter that much to me.

 

I have had crushes on people who have been shy, little over weight, some very geeky.....list goes on.

 

and then i dated one who felt very conscious about her height, i thought she was quiet sweet. She is 5'4 and i am 5'9....

 

if they can talk, laugh....etc and don't mind going for a movie at weekends.....i will pretty much date em....

 

I just love girls...

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

This is a hot topic with the guys I hang out with. With few exceptions, we get loopier over smart women. Granted, we are over 30, so the T&A hangup has eased up, but when a smart lady joins us to chat at the park, the boys get very attentive. This is in a spot where distracting bikinis are common.

 

Maybe I just get tired of women being defined by Madison Avenue or their target demographic of twentysomethings. Maybe I just like women. Whatever.

 

Sylph is da man!

 

ok, so out of curiosity how do guys react when a woman is both good looking and intelligent? i'm wondering if guys tend to assume that if a woman is either hot and/or dressed 'sexy', that she is thereforeeee unintelligent. or conversely that if she is homely and/or dressed 'frumpily' that she is thereforeeee intelligent?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

and then i dated one who felt very conscious about her height, i thought she was quiet sweet. She is 5'4 and i am 5'9....

 

 

gosh she must have been self conscious, i am not even fully 5'2" and most of the guys i've dated and also my boyfriends have been between 6'0 and 6'4. actually i don't think i've ever dated anyone under 5'10". maybe that's just happenstance though, but i've never felt at all self conscious about the height difference, i think it's kinda cool actually. i don't ever have to worry about not reaching stuff.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Maybe I just get tired of women being defined by Madison Avenue or their target demographic of twentysomethings. Maybe I just like women. Whatever.!

Yeah, I used to work on Madison Avenue and I know that with the women there, I don't have a snowball's chance in the Devil's studio apartment.

 

Thanks 4 all the responses thus far. I asked this because I had two separate incidences a while back that made me curious and furious.

 

I was an operator at this company, and apparently I am told that I have a nice speaking voice.

 

One time I was taking an order for this woman and she told me about my voice. She'd call everyday to place orders, and was even flirting with me over the phone I think (I was oblivious back then... as I am now) Anyway, she worked about 10 blocks from me, and one day I was saying all of these things to crack her up. She usually had messengers deliver her film to our company, but this time she decided to make the trek, saying she couldn't wait to meet me, yada yada yada. Well whaddaya know, she comes out the elevator, asks for me, I say I am him, and you can see her smile literally drop to her toes. Her entire demeanor changed after seeing me. After that meeting, everytime we talked on the phone, she wold rush her order and then say goodbye, none of the small talk we used to have. After a week, I thought she was incredibly busy. After a month, I got the hint.

 

A year later. Same exact situation, different girl. This one tells me I had a pleasant speaking voice, yada yada yada, and then we talk about our backgounds, where she said she was from Argentina and I said I was from the exotic Brooklyn Territories, I have great grandparents from different parts of the world and stuff. I always throw in the, "My mother was in soap operas" line to peak their interests, which is true btw. She's asking me questions like what I look like, what I like to do during my free time, oh and the hilariously obvious "Do you have a girlfriend"? And like the previous girl, she would have messengers deliver her order to us forthe company to process. One day she sends a messenger and he asks, "Are you Kyo?" and I said yes. " Magdelena says hello." Oh, that's nice I thought. But I noticed as I'm signing the delivery form, he's sizing me up. But after that, not only is this girl straight forward and direct over the phone, business like as she never was before, but she had her co-worker make the calls, when before she would go out of her way to talk to me. I remember a few times I asked for her and her co-worker said that sh was busy. After a week, I thought she was. After a month, I got the hint.

 

I was wondering what if they saw me first then got to know me if it would've been less of a horrific shock than getting to know me, seeing me and experiencing total disappointment. Those two girls (plus another one a few years earlier) led me to believe that:

 

A) I can work for a phone sex company

B) No matter how great my personality is, and no matter how we click on the phone, once they lay eyes on me, I have no shot. Yeah I know it's only the phone, but if they were physically attracted to me, where would it have led?

 

Coincidence? I think not. Eh who cares? I do, that's who.

[Dako]

ok, so out of curiosity how do guys react when a woman is both good looking and intelligent? i'm wondering if guys tend to assume that if a woman is either hot and/or dressed 'sexy', that she is thereforeeee unintelligent. or conversely that if she is homely and/or dressed 'frumpily' that she is thereforeeee intelligent?

 

Men assume all plain women are intelligent and all the flashy ones are idiots. Does that fit the sterotype of men? Fortunately all men aren't idiots, and have the ability to reason. Some of us are even sentient beings who walk upright and can hold a salad fork.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Men assume all plain women are intelligent and all the flashy ones are idiots. Does that fit the sterotype of men? Fortunately all men aren't idiots, and have the ability to reason. Some of us are even sentient beings who walk upright and can hold a salad fork.

But are you using the salad fork during the salad course?