My Girlfriend is gone but the love is still there.

[heartbrokenboy]

My girlfriend and i broke up the other day and i cant stop thinking about her. We had a great relationship and everything seemed right. then all of a sudden two months ago we just started havin problems and little things could spark fights that you laught at afterwards and think "wow how do you even fight about that" We are both really stubborn people and i know i said some really hurtful things to her. I blamed her for most of the problems and then two days ago she told me she was confused. She said that she really loved me and cared for me but its not worth getting hurt anymore. she said her gut feeling was saying leave and her heart saying stay. i paniced and accused her saying " If you do really love me you wouldnt feel that way" i was just so scared of losing her that i pushed her away. ironic how that is. She says she has no more hope for us and that it will only end in more pain. I am wondering what to do, should i give her space for a week or two and try again? do i just give up? or do i fight for her ? I really dunno what to do anymore and i cant just pass up the best thing to every happen to me. Please help me.

 

 

Also Prom is coming up and she was really looking forward to it and i told her i would only go if she payed for it because im trying to make payments. I was wondering maybe should i try an oringal appolgy that takes alot of thought and ask her to Prom? If i should do this please give me some ideas on what would be orginal and special.

[Hope75]

Hi BHB,

 

Sorry to hear that you are going through a heartbreak, it is never easy.

 

Perhaps right now your best course of action is to give her some space and gather your own thoughts. Give her a little bit of a chance to miss you.

 

In a week or two, after things have calmed down a bit, send her an email with your thoughts. Don't acuse or point fingers at whose fault the demise of the relationship is, just tell her how you feel about her, and what you think you might do differently to improve things if given a second chance. An email is not too intrusive, she can read what you feel and not get defensive or feel she has to respond right away. She can think about what you said and re examine her feelings. Let a week or so pass after the email and see if she contacts you. If not, give her a call and see what she says.

 

 

What do you think?

[kadvati79]

Seems like in panic you reverted to a bit of emotional blackmail, its so hard not too in those situations so don't feel too bad about it.

 

"I was wondering maybe should i try an oringal appolgy that takes alot of thought and ask her to Prom? If i should do this please give me some ideas on what would be orginal and special."

 

Haha, you are very "new age". I can't believe you said you would only go if she paid for the ticket! Jeez dude! This is PROM. Girls read the words PROM as "MOST IMPORTANT NIGHT OF MY LIFE SO FAR". And you said you would only be there if she PAID for it? Damn dude, sell some stuff! Beg, borrow, steal.

 

I would write an apology and ask her to come to the prom with you as a second chance. Say she can make her decision after prom but that you know it was really important to her, and so you would like to go to Prom with her. Apology should be brief, no need to gush, just be matter of fact. Keep explainations to a minimum.

 

Seriously though, ASK her to the prom. Say its a no pressure thing, that she can decide later on about the relationship. Hire a limo. Get a fantastic suit. Buy her a rose and some chocolates on the night. WOO HER MAN.

[btbt]

Kudos to the last post. If I were fighting with a boyfriend and he said let's make up, and let's go to the prom, but you have to pay for it, I'd be like "sayonara."

 

However, it might be a good idea to go to the prom as a way of respecting your love and history together and not make it a pressurized deal. Sounds like you two both need some space, but if you want to go to the prom together, go as "people who love each other but need to work things out." In that case, maybe you can agree to split the cost so there is no resentment on either side and both of you feel like you are doing something because you want to. Now that I think about it, given all your problems you may want to avoid a romantic overkill thing with the prom because it will probably make a wonderful evening, but sweep the problems under the rug only to explode later.

[Shesa]

More great things will come your way. Just don't forget the lessons you learn today. You must be the man and pay for it. I'm 25, but my brother is in high school and broke as a joke. He is an "ump" for baseball... and has spent everything he has earned on prom. Now, I do feel bad that he has to do this--- but it is also a good heads up for him in the future. Lesson learned: Women are expensive (even the ones who aren't after ya for your money).