iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 At 17 you can talk about lots of things: hobbies, movies, school, what you aspire to be in life, current events, sports, past/future vacations. Plus, I think if you engage in an activity instead of just sitting in a coffee house (minature golf, going to the driving range, going for a walk in the park with your COFFEE) you can end up talking about oodles of stuff. At 17, the whole entire world is in front of you...I think it's the most exciting time in one's life as there is endless potential and possibilities. Grab it by the horns and celebrate it. i'm sorry, but i didn't stop living and having normal conversation after 17. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I wasn't on a date, just chatting with a lady at the park, and neither of us were looking for anything. On a date, sex is the elephant in the room. You both avoid it, but it's obvious. Us old folks are more comfortable with it, because we don't really have sex anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I wasn't on a date, just chatting with a lady at the park, and neither of us were looking for anything. On a date, sex is the elephant in the room. You both avoid it, but it's obvious. well he was asking about a date, wasn't he? Us old folks are more comfortable with it, because we don't really have sex anymore. and, geez, sorry for ya! ..lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordan_2 Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 ok I know that if the topic of sex came up, most (but definitely not all) people I know would handle it with maturity, of course there are the few bits of sexual humour, but I think that what dako said, about sex being the "elephant" in the conversation is really not true. I think that people have to realize that there are younger people (and older as well) who can carry an intellectual, but fun, interesting conversation that doesn't have to sway back to "sex" (or the uneasiness of avoiding it). I think that I'm just having problems thinking of stuff to say and i've gotten some help so thanks everyone for that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I only mentioned it in the context of a number of other subjects to chat about, not the only one. For that matter, politics might even be worse. At least it beats staring at each other. I remember some dates like that. I---I Check please!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 ok I know that if the topic of sex came up, most (but definitely not all) people I know would handle it with maturity, of course there are the few bits of sexual humour, but I think that what dako said, about sex being the "elephant" in the conversation is really not true. I think that people have to realize that there are younger people (and older as well) who can carry an intellectual, but fun, interesting conversation that doesn't have to sway back to "sex" (or the uneasiness of avoiding it). --no actually i do realize that-- I think that I'm just having problems thinking of stuff to say and i've gotten some help so thanks everyone for that... i would never have mentioned it at all or even brought it into this conversation, except i felt the need to refute that Dako listed that as the first suggestion of things you should be talking about with your female interest on your first coffee meeting. it struck me as quite a bit of an 'odd' suggestion, regardless of his age, your age, or my age. ...and yes there is always inuendo which is a different story and it does not sound like that is what dako is actually referring to... so, yes i do think that contrary to popular expression it should be ok to talk a bit about politics, religion, current events, favorite activities....just on your first date try not to be too intense about things, and keep in mind that your date's views on certain topics may be in direct opposition to yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Not to belabor the point, but here's my offensive post: Books, music, politics, current events, opera, history, pop culture, travel, food and all that not enough? Try sex, science, fashions, consumerism, sports nature, animals and maybe coffee bean roasting, wine, social movements, trends in business and childhood. Any hobbies, career subjects, school subjects...... What interests you? Sex was in there, I admit, but not as the first thing. If I ever start dating, I'll be sure to avoid the subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Not to belabor the point, but here's my offensive post: Sex was in there, I admit, but not as the first thing. If I ever start dating, I'll be sure to avoid the subject. i wouldn't recommend making an issue out of it at all *one way or the other*. in other words, don't treat it as if like you said, its the 'elephant in the room'. is that all you can think about when talking to a woman? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 If you knew me, you'd know that's not the case at all. Oy gevalt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 not to distract you two good people from duking it out, but.. ...hey! look over here! Damn, I wish I was 17 and not a washed up 31 year old woman.thanks for the laugh. NOBODY is washed up at 31 except maybe child actors. you are younnnnggg, hosswhispra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 If you knew me, you'd know that's not the case at all. Oy gevalt. then don't make such an issue out of it! bye! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Gosh, perhaps techniques used to relentlessly belabor the (mock) horrors of an innocent comment would be a good thing to talk about on a first date. bye! yes, hon, that's a great suggestion. or... i have another suggestion... maybe another interesting topic for the young couple might be 'pompous people who don't mind their own business'? bye, dear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Not pompous. Honestly, I just understood what Dako meant and was puzzled by what seemed like deliberate antagonism. He really wasn't suggesting that all the 17 year olds out there begin their coffee dates by talking about sexual preferences, and anybody who knows him is positive that sex isn't "all he thinks about when talking to a woman." Sorry for the derailment, folks...I'm just on edge these days. My sarcasm was tacky. jordan_2, my first thought when I read your post is that there are so many interesting things to talk about that it's hard to make a list! One thing that nobody has mentioned is that it's sometimes helpful to fall back on talking (in a nice way) about people you both know. You can learn a lot about a person by getting to know their friends--how they met, the kinds of things they do together, etc. Not so much in an interviewing way, but in a more casual, "Hey, I notice you and xx hang out together a lot. S/he seems pretty cool; have you guys been friends for a long time..." way. Things like that can lead to funny stories, reveal unexpected hobbies, and just generally help you learn more about what your new person likes and dislikes in others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 not to distract you two good people from duking it out, but.. ...hey! look over here! thanks for the laugh. NOBODY is washed up at 31 except maybe child actors. you are younnnnggg, hosswhispra. hahahahaha....slightlybent I started to feel "old" the same year my father died and I turned 30. For some reason, when he was alive (he was 57 when me and my twin sister were born), I still felt young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Not pompous. Honestly, I just understood what Dako meant and was puzzled by what seemed like deliberate antagonism. Sorry for the derailment, folks...I'm just on edge these days. My sarcasm was tacky. well it seems you understood incorrectly, then. i was merely concerned with giving the original poster some good, and realistic, advice on what he should and shouldn't bring up during his anticipated initial coffee date, based on the circumstances that he clearly described. he himself said to dako that he didn't think dako's suggestion of discussing sex with this girl on their first coffee date was appropriate, while innuendo might be another thing. actually the young man seems quite mature. now, if you'll please refrain from belaboring in you misinterpretation of my intentions and what i do and don't understand. thanks much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Whether or not the guy says "I like it when girls do this in bed..." or if he makes some subtle comment, the fact of the matter sex is still the topic in play. Semantics aside, individuals like to talk about a variety of things, if both individuals are adults and mature why can't they discuss sex? This isn't the 1800's most people realize sex is a significant aspect of social interaction, avoiding it is just uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Sorry folks. Just one of those things, I guess. Pretty hard to chat on a forum without some disagreement creeping in. I'm outta this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Whether or not the guy says "I like it when girls do this in bed..." or if he makes some subtle comment, the fact of the matter sex is still the topic in play. Semantics aside, individuals like to talk about a variety of things, if both individuals are adults and mature why can't they discuss sex? This isn't the 1800's most people realize sex is a significant aspect of social interaction, avoiding it is just uncomfortable. Carnelian, this is a quote from the original poster: "sorry i think it's because you are a bit older that that conversation might be a little more appropriate (i'm 17)....and also, notice that your lady friend initiated the 'sex' conversation first." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Dako, i'm following right behind you. i'm only trying to give the original poster advice based on his question and his circumstances which he outlined. i'm getting the feeling some people are just jumping in here with the true intentions of being argumentative and antagonistic... which is not my cup of tea....have fun.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 I think Dako's list was meant for general purposes as the original post did not include the fact that the poster was 17. His list is still a thorough range of suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordan_2 Posted April 29, 2006 Author Share Posted April 29, 2006 wow, i'm sorry this topic came to this point... it was a simple question on what would be good conversation topics when going out for coffee with someone... personally, I've come to realize that you should let the conversation come naturally, talk about things that interest you and that interest the other person...and if you don't know any interests, ask them....people love to be able to express themselves and talk about themselves (in the most non-vain way) and if the situation gets akward, just tlak about anything... and seeing that a major issue was with the whole appropriateness of conversation topics, I think everyone needs to establish a sort of "rating" as far as maturity is concerned with different topics...the big one at hand...sex. unless you are completely comfortable wiht the other person, it is usually innappropriate to bring up the subject, but given the circumstance and if the other person brings it up for some reason, and you are comfortable you talk about it too...it all depends on the peoples at hand... thanks to all who posted, sorry if it kind of heated up a bit....this is a discussion forum (i had this same issue pop up in another topic i posted in)...we're all here to help eachother with our "problems" or questions...HELP eachother, don't post to try to get at eachother's necks... good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 29, 2006 Share Posted April 29, 2006 Jordan, you basically just restated the advice that i had given you, so i am glad to see that you did not believe it was so outrageous. And, YOU seem like a very mature individual, with a good grip on reality, and an appreciation of the subtleties of both diversity and appropriateness. I don't think you will have any troubles with your new friend. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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