jordan_2 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 ok, so here's question that was triggered from other posts that I have made/seen over the years (and I'm sure it's been answered before, but if you guys wouldn't mind, maybe even throwing out new ideas)... once you've asked your crush to go out for a coffee, what exaclty do you talk about? I know a few things to talk about like "how's school, how's life, what are you up to next year (for those who are on their way to colleges or universities), what are you up to this summer...." and during this whole conversation, how do you ask them to go on a date? (and I'm assuming that going out for coffee doesn't really count as a date ). what are some interesting things to keep the conversation going...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jabele Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Hmmm, well, if you find the conversation to be "awkward" - it may not be the best match. The best dates are when the conversation just flows...and you don't have to prepare a "script." But, if you do find yourself in a awkward silence moment, ask her questions about her interests. Music, movies...those are always good. If you asked me about music, I could go on for HOURS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Books, music, politics, current events, opera, history, pop culture, travel, food and all that not enough? Try sex, science, fashions, consumerism, sports nature, animals and maybe coffee bean roasting, wine, social movements, trends in business and childhood. Any hobbies, career subjects, school subjects...... What interests you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moink75 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Dako, how long were you thinking about that list? Be honest. Been dating long? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Not dating at all. I talk about these things with the guys. If I'm with a woman, it's about the same but without the tty jokes. The list was top-of-my-head stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moink75 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 I have read many of your replies and you just crack me up. Thanks for the smiles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 one good rule that i try to follow is to let the other person say whatever she wants, and just follow along, making enough comments to let her know that i'm listening and that i understand where she is coming from. it works well for me in those awkward moments of silence to ask a question rather than to start a line of conversation from my own viewpoint. i think people appreciate that, and i have recently been told by a girl that i'm a good listener, so i must be doing something right. so i think of a number of things that are of interest to the other person and slip them in as questions whenever things slow down. a little caffeine can brighten up a conversation, too, so i will get some cappuccino in me fairly early on and then sip the second half of my cup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggierocker Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Girls love to talk about themselves. The secret is to hit areas that will make them drag on forever. Ask them lots of questions like a full auto machine gun to hit that target in the bull's eye. But be sure you listen, and follow up on your questions otherwise it will be obvious. If you're having trouble with this, just nod your head and say "yeah!" or "what?" I'd start with "What is your passion in life?" Emphasize the underlined part. Romantically emphasize it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heloladies21 Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Too much of this left brain stuff will bore her. She can get that from anyone. Try teasing her, use some light sexual innuendo, be playful. Like Austin Powers or Howard Stern style. Go here to find other advice for talking to girls too: link removed link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Too much of this left brain stuff will bore her. She can get that from anyone. Try teasing her, use some light sexual innuendo, be playful. Like Austin Powers or Howard Stern style.that used to be ALL i did, but sometimes a girl needs more, and sometimes she's NOT getting it somewhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 You might find her intersting and charming, and spend the entire night talking to a bright woman and learning who she really is. She may be a rare person with much to share. Or you can just try to get your nut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 Dako, if you're not writing for Letterman already... get on with it, man!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 You guys are so funny. LOL. Just skip coffee and go to the show until you are more into each other and have something to talk about. After the show you have something to talk about- the show....Let nature takes it's course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markers Posted April 25, 2006 Share Posted April 25, 2006 find out what the other person likes and talk about that. But be prepared to talk about your interests as well, the other person wants just as bad find out things about you and will try to make you talk about your interests.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jhodas Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 I personally would save the innuendos until you know each other a little better. She may see it as coming on too strong. I like to play devils advocate sometimes (of course, let her know you are doing this). Just get her opionion on something, pretty much anything, and start the reply with 'I'm just playing devil's advocate here but...' followed by a fair and polite criticism of her idea. Bingo. You have a debate. the finest form of conversation. Just be very careful you don't let it turn into an argument on the first date! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Books, music, politics, current events, opera, history, pop culture, travel, food and all that not enough? Try sex, science, fashions, consumerism, sports nature, animals and maybe coffee bean roasting, wine, social movements, trends in business and childhood. Any hobbies, career subjects, school subjects...... What interests you? Dako, usually you're so level headed. You're advising the guy to bring up sex on the first coffee meeting. NOT a good idea. IF she brings it up, ok, but he should NOT. i mean what's he gonna say, "yeah, i really liked it when my ex put her tongue there, and she loved it when i put you know what somewhere else."...? .. come on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 try to get your nut? What are ya 15 all of a sudden?? (kidding Dako cuz I know you were) And heloladies, no offense, but try teasing her with light sexual innuendo? Ummm....yeh, don't do that. Save that for at LEAST the 2nd meeting. I'm sort of into what Bent said tho - and I just want to say to him...uh-huh. Yep.........uh-huh......uh huh...Yep, .....uh huh jordan, really tho, like SlightlyBent said, just make a statement and let her go with her take on it. Chics dig that. (not all girls) Not saying you should contribute only the uh-huhs of the conversations, cuz you shouldn't. People love conversation and feeling like their intellectualizing. Cater, pander, make her feel your undivided attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 yep, and while other girls i'm sure are different, i tend to not like being asked a whole lot of questions. i mean a few are ok. but if it feels like he's trying to sum me up, put me in a box, and put a LABEL on me, (can anyone relate?), then, that's not good. sort of try to find out about the person and show an interest in them, but without going to the extent of not respecting their autonomy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Dako, usually you're so level headed. You're advising the guy to bring up sex on the first coffee meeting. NOT a good idea. IF she brings it up, ok, but he should NOT. i mean what's he gonna say, "yeah, i really liked it when my ex put her tongue there, and she loved it when i put you know what somewhere else."...? .. come on... Okay, here's an example of what I had in mind: I met a lady a few weeks back and we had a casual chat. She's my age and we talked about Boston traffic, cigars, raising kids, life after divorce, food, etc. She mentioned how she missed having sex all the time, but was enjoying it more when she was with someone. I told her how it's just part of the package, but I missed it too. We both shared a view that younger folks see it as the only game on earth. No lurid descriptions of hot action like what popped into your naughty imagination. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordan_2 Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 sorry i think it's because you are a bit older that that conversation might be a little more appropriate (i'm 17)....and also, notice that your lady friend initiated the 'sex' conversation first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 At 17 you can talk about lots of things: hobbies, movies, school, what you aspire to be in life, current events, sports, past/future vacations. Plus, I think if you engage in an activity instead of just sitting in a coffee house (minature golf, going to the driving range, going for a walk in the park with your COFFEE) you can end up talking about oodles of stuff. At 17, the whole entire world is in front of you...I think it's the most exciting time in one's life as there is endless potential and possibilities. Grab it by the horns and celebrate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Damn, I wish I was 17 and not a washed up 31 year old woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 I'd rather be 31, even as a woman. I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 hahaha Thanks, Dako. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Okay, here's an example of what I had in mind: I met a lady a few weeks back and we had a casual chat. She's my age and we talked about Boston traffic, cigars, raising kids, life after divorce, food, etc. She mentioned how she missed having sex all the time, but was enjoying it more when she was with someone. I told her how it's just part of the package, but I missed it too. We both shared a view that younger folks see it as the only game on earth. No lurid descriptions of hot action like what popped into your naughty imagination. Not that there's anything wrong with it. yes, dako, it's kind of like what 'JORDAN2' said, "sorry i think it's because you are a bit older that that conversation might be a little more appropriate (i'm 17)....and also, notice that your lady friend initiated the 'sex' conversation first." she initiated it first, and actually age isn't much of the issue. i'm maybe gonna see this guy and i do not plan to tell him on our first drink date that "gee i really miss having sex". (?!) and also, if he says that to me...i'm sorry, but i would be put off, most likely to the point of saying, um ok well nice to meet you, look at the time.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now