Just looking for some thoughts

[fifi8]

Hello everyone,

 

I was with a great guy for a little over a year. He really was a sweetheart. However, a failed marriage had made me put up walls and I ran hot and cold too often. That being said, we still had a great time, and he really tried to understand some of my fears. He lives in NY and I lived in San Fran and a serious accident prevented us from being together for a time.

 

I tried to move to NY but I had so much debt etc I returned to my old job in California. He cried for two days just before I left, then finally said he'd just throw himself into finding a job - he's a programmer who had been laid off a year prior to me moving and so times were stressful.

 

Anyway, I came back to California, and I missed him so much it made me push him for more attention I guess. I was pretty painful, I will admit. Anyway, he called for a break to get some perspective, then called me two days later and said he wanted to rebuild the relationship. Cut to two weeks later and he had done very little to help with the relationship, and the distance sucked big time.

 

He broke up with me last night saying he loves me, believes he is still 'in love' with me but just doesn't want a relationship with anyone. When I questioned whether he was still attracted to me, he said he didn't feel anything physically, but he finds it hard to feel anything physically for anyone right now. We've been separated by distance for a while. He also said that he feels tired a lot, and thinks that he just lacks the energy to put into a relationship, and he's been questioning whether he may be depressed. He recently got a job and it's really wearing him out.

 

I'm moving to NY (for my own reasons, not to do with him) in 4 weeks, and he told me that, after we broke up, he suddenly got excited at the thought of spending time with me. He also said that his brain still thinks of things that would make me happy, and he doesn't want to tell his friends we've broken up. He's said it would be great to get to know me with both of us living in the same place, but without the pressure of trying to make the relationship work.

 

I'm totally confused. Is he being genuine, or should I just say "byebye"?

 

Thank you for your time

[babybottlepop007]

Hey fifi8-

I honestly understand what he thinks. Some guys are scared at the thought of a commitment, but they honestly still love you. Just give him some time, from what you said I think he really loves you. Dont give up on him quite yet because he seems like a great guy. Best of luck

 

babybottlepop007

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

lol, sounds like it could work out after all. I reckon he just felt there wasn't enough 2 keep the relationship 2getha in the first place but he still luved u probably, just the wrong time and he might've thought it'd b better 2 get on wif each others lives for now or somethin like that.

 

I think now u're goin back and if u's still like each other, chances are, u should get back 2getha.

 

Happy Heb