She came to "Let it Go"

[Always Hopeful]

Some of you guys know my story, so bear with me.

 

After a rather acrimonious break-up, my ex and I couldn't get along with each other. Lord knows I tried, but to be truly honest, she was the hostile one. She always made it a point to make me uncomfortable. Like all bullies, I think sometimes she did it because she knew she could.

 

I was quite hurt by her, but I tried to take the high road. I respected her distance and did not go out of my way to try to win her back. I did try to remain friends though (but more on that later). May be she was hurt too, but she made up for it by doing what she usually does, become some kind of robot from hell (push button, laugh on cue, push button work and only work, push button get angry, push...become Stepford woman...etc. etc.). She was very cold to me and at times very cruel.

 

I found out one day that she was being posted overseas. I knew I would probably never she her again so I offered my hand to friendship and to let bygones be bygones. I asked if she would like to get a cup of coffee, and she did something that really showed her true character. She first said yes to my offer. But then later, when I called to set the time, she said "ahh, no" all the while gritting her teeth and saying "what's the point". She said it wasn't that she was angry but that she just didn't care anymore.

 

I thought about it and realized that she said yes only because our mutual friend was nearby and she didn't want to sound like a jerk around him. But with me, the gloves were off. There were subtle but really cruel things like that which showed me that her character and her internal nature are rotten, that her outward personna is fake and a show.

 

Anyway, she came in to visit me just now. She sat down and said, that she knew a rapproachment wouldn't be worth it because of the way she was and the way I was (?????) But that she didn't want to leave here with bad memories to mar the happy times here (?????). And so she decided to let it go (?????) She knew she didn't have much time here so she wanted to leave it at that. And then she shook my hand like we were sealing some business deal.

 

You know, she is something else. I feel insulted by this. At first, I thought she was doing this to let bygones be bygones. But then she said specifically she didn't want a rapproachment, she just wanted to let it go, that she didn't want the bad memories of us to spoil her happy memories????? Huh?????

 

Now I think she did it just to spite me. First of all, what was there to let go when all the while she was telling me that she wasn't angry, that nothing matters, that she didn't care in the first place, etc. etc. It's like coming to me was just one more thing on her "To Do" list before taking off (hmm lets see, buy boxes, pay last rent, insult former lover, buy last roll of toilet paper....). If she didn't want a rapproachment what the hell was the conversation for, to soothe her soul???? What selfishness. When I heard she was leaving, I made an honest attempt to extend my hand and she spit on it. Now that we get closer to her leaving she comes out and gives me this kind of crap! Man am I steamed! This girl is truly a piece of work.

 

When I tried to extend my hand to friendship, she threw it away. At that time I was remined of a saying "if you can't forgive someone, then no one wil forgive you." I guess I have two choices. I can decide to never forgive her and hope that others will feel the same (to fufill the saying). Or I can decide to forgive her because I don't want to be like her. I want to be forgiven by others in the future for the things I have or will do. I'm at that crossroads. I think I reached a point with her that I wish she could go straight to hell, but then I shouldn't think those thoughts. I need to be a better person.

 

Anyway, bon voyage and heaven help anyone you touch in your life. They need to be strong and forgiving. My ex, you've played around before and hurt others before me (by your own admission). You hurt me like no other person has. It is a pattern you need to recognize and correct. Do this, or else your true nature will be discovered soon by all. I forgive you. I will still extend my hand if you have the desire to hold it.

 

Peace.

[segagirl]

It's ok to be angry at this point, you will forgive her one day...just don't ever forget the kind of person that she is inside....best she is gone.

Hang in there, and just take the time to work through it.

 

[Always Hopeful]

Thank you for the words of support.

 

Question: Do these people ever get found out? Do they go on with impunity?

 

There are times when I just want to expose her for the fraud that she is. God she is just so devious and self-serving. Such a fake!!@^#@%$#

[segagirl]

If you believe in karma, then yes...she will get her's....

[Always Hopeful]

You mean she will be reborn as a sea slug! Cool!

 

But I'd rather her suffer some now....sheesh....