Being A Man - What Does It Mean Today

[serve_the_people]

I was always raised to believe in very traditional gender roles, with men following very strict requirements. I have always tried to live up to these standards myself, but I feel dissappointed when I see other guys seemingly not trying to live up to them. So it made my think - what does it mean to be a man today??

 

Here are some of traditional gender role requirements I have always tried to live up to. What do you think of these requirements? Do you think they are out dated??????

 

1. That every man should know how to dance

-Maybe I am too traditional, but I believe that every man should learn to dance. It must be a partnered dance, where the guy holds the girl in his arms and directs her.

 

2. Being unemotional in public, even in the face of tragedy. Displays of emotion should only be private.

 

3. Feeling honor in serving in the police service or armed forces

-I feel that serving in the army or police is honorable, but its a profession not many young men aspire to these days. Now its true that some may say that invading another country and killing people there is not honourable - and I respect that argument. But even so, there should be some honour for young men serving in the armed forces.

 

4. Wearing nice, clean, politically correct clothes

 

- I mean, wearing clothes that are visually appealing and ironed. Too few men iron their own clothes these days. Most guys don't notice whether clothes have been ironed or not, but most girls do. Also, wearing clothes that are actually appealing, instead of having an unpolitically correct message on it (ie. comments that are sexist, racist, that mock religion, or otherwise distasteful). Why don't we wear school uniforms much any more in public schools??? I like the way uniforms look, on both guys and girls !!!!! They instill pride and honour !!!!

 

5. Taking the Initiative in Planning Dates and Romantic Events

 

- Too many guys just expect relationships to happen. They don't take the time to plan a date every week or so with thier wife / girlfriend. In the beginning they are all romantic, but as time goes on they don't put in the effort to keep the romance alive.

 

6. Talking to wife rather having TV talk to you

 

- I believe every husband should spend an uninterrupted hour every day talking with his wife / girlfriend. Just my opinion. Many men spend hours a day watching tv, having an electronic box talk to them, rather than sharing thier feelings and thoughts with thier wife / girlfriend.

 

Anyway, those are just my thoughts, and my ideals. I don't mind if people disagree with me. I just want people to think about this and respond, and debate what it means to be a man in today's world !!!!!

[Alabama]

I'm actually the opposite. I don't really care to follow "traditional" male roles or duties that a man has to fulfill. Personally, I find it all BS and think that just because is of a particular gendar doens't mean they have to act that way. We are all individuals and should act as who we are, not just follow some rules that a man has to do. But that's my opinion.

[evy38]

I think being a man, in this modern age, must be very difficult. You are told the traditional roles are outdated, yet society has given you no clear guide as to what it means to be a 21 century male. For some reason there is so much opinion about what a woman should be, but very little on men's changing roles.

So, I say, be the man you feel most comfortable being and the one you feel holds the most honor, for you. People can feel it, when you are true to yourself.

[itsallgrand]

This is a very interesting topic and I can't wait to see what sorts of replies you get! I feel I have a tonne to say on this issue; but would like to think it through a little bit. So I'll start off with a few things that immedietly came to my mind.

 

*There is nothing wrong with following traditional values; if that is what makes you happy, and you are a good man in your core. Much of it is a matter of taste and preference. However; I do not define a man by his roles.

 

*What does it mean to be a man or a woman in today's world? Gender roles are bending. There is much ambiguity and change in our social and economic orders.

There is no 'right' way, in my opinion, because it is all relative to the values and circumstances of the people

 

*It is ALWAYS great when a man can and is willing to dance!

 

*Personal hygiene and dressing appropriately shows self respect.

 

*What a man is must be created by himself. Each man must define himself in a way that values and celebrates who he is as a human being. A definition which constricts his humanity is a poor one - it should help him to reach his own full potential.

 

that's all for now...will be back

[annie24]

I also really like men that can dance, are in uniform, wear nice clothing, and work on communicating with their partner.

 

I agree with evy - I think that in these days, it's kind of blurry "what it means to be a man."

[DN]

[iF]

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,

If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

[Shadows Light]

That is one of my favorite poems DN!!! Thank-you.