Is sex really necessary?

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, having the right sexual orientations are important in a marriage, because if one person is sexual, and the other person is an asexual, which is likely the case why one partner may not be that intersted in sex, then of course, there is going to be problems.

[Heartshock]

Hi Prenkle,

 

I'm astonished to see you see sex as a male peccadillo.

 

I'm female and see sex as a pretty crucial part of the bonding process. physical communication that can't be catered for by conversation.

It's also part of the fun and play of the relationship, the trading of affection, the getting out of your mind an into their headspace, the communication of feelings.

 

I'd be pretty devasted if my man said, "I love you alot, but I want to concentrate on our emotional connection. SOLELY.

 

It would be clear to me that we were definitely not on the same page or

drawing the same sort of critical and positive energy from sex.

 

I'm aware sex isn't for every-one. Some people are fairly asexual by nature, (and that's fine if its a mutal decision between a married couple) Or one person is disabled and the couple come to agreement on how each will satisfy their needs.

 

The key word being agreement.

 

However a one-sided decision would eventually erode the marriage. The feeling of rejection would be overwhelming for one. Who wants to be with some-one who cannot bare to touch their partners body. Your self-esteem would be on the floor. That person would be missing out on a crucial element of connection, a way of expressing themselves, gaining affection, and just plan getting their rocks off.

 

In your scenario, is the wife willing for her man to sexually express himself with other partners, or would he be expected to abstain for life

Do you see what you'd be asking some-one. To supress an critical part of their personality. Thier sexuality and mode of sexual expression.

 

What if your question was;-

 

"If your partner decided to stop speaking to you

(apart from about the kids) and decided conservations

of a personal or emotional nature were out of the question

Would you want to move on?"

 

I think we know what the answer would be there? However you wouldn't "die" from the lack of personal or emotional conversations either.

[arwen]

From what I'm hearing, sex is very important.

 

So if you had to go without sex for 2 years, would you die?

 

Of course not. But you also don't die when a partner betrays you or starts to portray a total different lifestyle in the course of the marriage. Both are also causes of divorce.

 

Ilse