The_Vacancy Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I haven't been making many poems or lyrics lately, all out of ideas. This is completely out of the way of what I would normally write, I think. However, I am really very happy with some of the words I have used in this poem. Still not sure if all of the words actually make sense but you know... Well, accepting any constructive criticism or feedback. If anyone that reads it can understand what I mean by the poem or has some suggestions then I am all ears. An arrow of sorrow [Draft] I've been waiting for someone For someone who doesn't exist She was there, I saw her Her eyes, they'd persist A burgundy bundle of hair And crystal-like shining eyes A sculpted beautiful shape And through her heart - An arrow of sorrow She hid her many secrets In a maze of romance Shattered to pieces And tears to enchant A masterpiece, she was And invisible she seemed With radiant red lips And a face that beamed [break] But her arrow began to shake As she fell to the ground Her heart was pierced And hiding from its fears The arrow bought sorrow And she turned her hand to me A smile, she borrowed As I lifted her to see An invisible figure Something I had dreamed She was real Or so it seemed… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
From_Now_On Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 i like it a lot. good work. keep writing. oh and p.s. i love you darlin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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