monsieur Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 I have been friendzoned.... I am extremely attracted to this woman. She is a model and absolutely stunningly beautiful (I really love her personality too, don't get me wrong). When we walk down the street together I can see guys with that look of how lucky I am, but they don't realize it is just a 'friends' relationship. I am head over heels for this girl, and even when I fantasize she is the ONLY woman I ever think of for many many months now. I think about her all day every day, she is a good friend in the meantime, but my heart is dying just waiting with the hope that her heart will eventually open for me. I fear that in 5 years I will still be in the same boat, my heart aching daily needing more, but not getting it, but not wanting anything else instead....... Life is so cruel sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Tell her how you feel. Don't wait around, its not worth hanging on someone who doesn't acknowledge your feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boricua7 Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Have you ever expressed to her how you feel? I can understand you being concerned of losing her friendship but if your heart is aching so badly do something about it, don't make yourself suffer silently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alabama Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 If you really like this person, than tell them. Has she made it officially clear that she is only interested in you as a friend? If not, than at least tell your feelings as this way she knows and can make her decision. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 I did tell her and she said that her heart tells her when, and that she just wanted to be friends. She had just gotten out of a relationship so maybe my timing was bad (I thought it would have been a good time)... it seemed like she was in the 'dumping' mood at the time and almost dumped me as a friend too at the same time. She said that she valued my friendship though so we continued at that. It is hard because I feel like she is my best friend too, so distancing myself won't do, yet I am so extremely attracted to her I honestly feel like she is the most perfect woman in the world, I've had many girlfriends in the past and none have ever affected me like her... it would be perfect if it could only work out. In the meantime I am going to wait and long for more, I have zero interest in any other girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceanEyes Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Find some way to tell her, and then listen to her response. Either way, she'll give you SOME kind of idea of how she feels about you. If she doesn't say "okay, sure, let's go on a date", then she's not interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 6, 2006 Author Share Posted April 6, 2006 she did tell me she just wanted to be friends, and for me, being friends with her is much better than not at all, but I can't switch off my heart that longs for more and longs for more with all my heart.... I am stuck with this existence which may be painful for decades Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamGuy Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Hey, u did the right think telling her how you feel. Never suppress it to the point where you want to explode. As for her wanting to be "friends", if you are ok with this, fine, but know, like you said, it's hard to switch off the heart. You may be torturing yourself, especially if and when she starts dating someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boricua7 Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 ...You may be torturing yourself, especially if and when she starts dating someone else. I could not agree more. If you can be friends with her as she falls head-over-heals for someone else then fine. If not, you might want to reasses your situation. Have you really sat her down and talked to her? Do you know why it is that she wants to be just friends? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamGuy Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 I could not agree more. If you can be friends with her as she falls head-over-heals for someone else then fine. If not, you might want to reasses your situation. Have you really sat her down and talked to her? Do you know why it is that she wants to be just friends? Good point! And be honest with yourself. Would you really be O.K if the woman you adore (who wants to be just friends) started dating someone else? Could you go on as friends, and pretend everything is fine? Talk to her about it. But dont ignore how you feel. in my experience, it's hard being friends with a girl you have intense attraction towards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 7, 2006 Author Share Posted April 7, 2006 I think I would be completely crushed if she started dating someone else..... the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that it appears that she would rather stay single at the present, so I somehow have a tiny little glimmer of hope that if she does decide to get in a relationship someday that she will pick me (I worry that it is wishful thinking though). I am probably setting myself up for a great fall, but like I said before, it is in my heart. When I asked her why she didn't want to me more than friends she told me that it was her heart that tells her what to do, and she liked me as a friend but not more. In my mind, hearts are changeable, if a person consistently shows love toward you then your heart can't help but open to them... at least that is my hope. (I also worry sometimes that women don't necessarily tell the truth when you ask them something) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 But what if she never does? You will continue to be alone and in pain. You really need to try to see other women. If she lets her heart dictate her choices in BFs, she may never feel passion for you and thats what it sounds like it will take for her to go from liking to loving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boricua7 Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Don't be gender specific. I hate that. A lot of people don't tell the truth when you ask them something, not just women. Men too. Hearts do change but they do not change simply because someone smothers you with love. Actually, that might turn some people away. Just be her friend. Be there for her. Enjoy her company. Make her smile. If it's meant to be it will be no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monsieur Posted April 7, 2006 Author Share Posted April 7, 2006 sorry Boricua, you are completely right, there are good and bad in both sexes I loved your post actually, you made me smile with your comments. It'll be or it won't, life will go on.... there is hope for me... regardless, I love your advice. and carnelian, you are right too, and I know it, unfortunately your heart pulls you in directions of pain sometimes, I have to wait it out and try, I may fail but I have to try.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now