new friend who is a little bit off

[dontknowwhattodo]

So, I made a new friend (yay!). He is supposed to be the first friend that I make since I moved home. I responded to his post on criaglist and we met once after that for a talk. For the locals here, it is very uncommom for people to use the internet to find friends and in fact most people don't even have internet access at all. So I think I was the only one who responded to his ad.

 

Since we met, he keeps emailing me everyday which I don't mind if they are just some emails to say hi here and there. The emails are usually long and sometimes he rants about life, his debts and problems. Sometimes he gave me advices that I was not looking for (e.g., I didn't think what I told him was a problem but he thought it was, so he gave advices).

 

I don't want to be jugdmental since I know only a bit of him but my gut feeling says this guy is a little bit off. Now he is having problem with his living situation. He makes a lot of money compared to the locals here but still is in short every month. The locals need to work for 3 or 4 months to get what this guy is making only for a month. But he usually says this and that that make me feel like he has very high taste but no money and thereforeeee he is angry with life. He said he didn't like the rich and I think he has a very bad attitude towards the locals who have some money here. He is a foreigner and I am a local by the way.

 

Now, my problem is he is asking me for some help. I told him that he needed to lower his living standard and moved to where he could actually afford it. He agreed and asked me to help him sell his stuff. I only know him for about a month and I feel like he relies on me way too much already. He wants to sell stuff (so that he could move to a smaller apartment) on the internet but he just doesn't get it that nobody here buys used stuff and very small proportion of people in the community has access to the internet. Nobody would come online to buy used stuff. Period.

 

He is now ranting. Yesterday he sent 2 emails full with the problems he has. My purpose when I was responding to his ad was to just have a happy friend to hang out and do stuff with (no sexual orientated - just a friend to go here and there with). This guy seems to have a lot of problems at hand though in his ad he was looking for the same thing as I was looking for. Now I am ranting but hm...should I continue to be friend with this guy?

[Scout]

My purpose when I was responding to his ad was to just have a happy friend to hang out and do stuff with (no sexual orientated - just a friend to go here and there). This guy seems to have a lot of problems at hand though in his ad he was looking for the same thing as I was looking for.

 

I completely agree with your intuitition that something is off with this guy, and I think you should basically cut the friendship off before he gets even more annoying. And you could simply tell him what you just said above: that you were looking for positive friends to do fun things with, and you feel he is communicating with you in a way and about things that are beyond what you would expect or want from someone you barely know.

 

I am sure you'll get a snippy email in response, by the way. Fine, let him get it out of his system, delete it, and breath a sigh of relief you didn't get tangled up with such a needy and unhappy person.

[shyanne]

i would stay away from that

[Alabama]

As helpful as you want to be for this guy, it sounds like he has a lot of problems to deal with himself, before he should think about asking for friends in an ad. It's not good to be in a desperate situation and think that love or friendship will neccesarily save you. This guy has learn that if he wants his life better, it will be up to him to make it better. I learned that the hard way.

[AwdreeHpburn]

tell him its not comfortable for you, that its too fast. i agree with scout, you probably won't like the response he gives you. And, I think you should prepare yourself for more contact from him even after you tell him to stop.

[butterflies]

He's scary- be careful with this guy!!! He makes 3 or 4 times more than the locals and still has problem financially? No matter how dumb the person, he'll think of a way to lessen the problem... it's common sense. i'm sure his friends or relatives can help him (definitely, theyd told him the same thing as you told him). like Shyanne said - stay away from this guy!