Getting BackTogether Following Enotalone & Majord23 Advice

[BONO]

1)Because I gave her too much attention when she needed space. She was going through a stressful time at work and backed off from me. I thought it was me and reacted by pouring more love onto her pushing her away more.

 

2) She saw him for 3 weeks. Met him twice within that period. He is 28 and has two kids from different relationships and lives hundreds of miles from her. They met at a wedding that I was meant to be at. Massive rebound.

 

3) 7 weeks

 

 

Scruff

[DN]

scruffism - I hope this goes well for you and you get what you want. I think you are wise to question whether it is you or the lifestyle that she misses. I asked that question because I would be concerned if she were mixing up missing you with being homesick and lonely in a new place. That's not to say she is deliberately misleading you - but she may be misleading herself.

 

So you are right to take it slowly and make sure it is the relationship with you that she really wants.

 

Assuming all is well and you get back together, what do you see happening about living closer together?

[BONO]

I have no problemwith the distance at this point in time. She has to complete a training contract that is of paramount importance. She could not get one here, so moved back home to get one in a smaller firm with less competion isolating her friends who she sees as family. As a result she felt at the time that it would be good to break up and felt bad herself because Im sort of sucessful and she was not in London. Fair point.

 

However, she has achieved that goal and misses me and has told me that she loves me now. (Maslow motivation theory perhaps) She has a year left and when she come down to see her friends spends all her time with me.

 

So I guess this will only get worse for her and perhaps she will want to get back with a view to moving back here in 12 months. In the meantime we could see each other at weekends and talk every evening, like we did when she lived in London.

 

 

Slowly Scruff !!

[Big Jim]

So there was only one guy she dated? what about yourself, i thought you were still seeing a girl, were you not? perhaps i missed a post

[BONO]

Big Jim,

Yep i am !

 

But thats another thread !

[Frangipani]

Good one Scruff...I hope more us here can be as successful as you have been. Especially with healing your 'own heart' and becoming a wiser person. Getting the ex back is great, but so is what you have learned.

 

Jeez, I sound like Yoda!