My friends are so weary, its annoying me!

[Duff]

My friends seem to be the laziest, most weary and unambitous set of people at the moment and it's really annoying me.

 

I've been trying to organise a holiday abroad for the summer (august) since November last year but all my friends keep putting it off. Everytime I ask them about it all I get is..."I'll see how much money I've got" or "I'll have to see about that" or "oh I dont know about it yet". It's really irritating because why can't we just book something and at least have something to look forward to for the summer? All I get is excuse after excuse and at this rate none of us will be going anywhere come August time.

 

Now I understand these things cost and I'll admit I earn relatively more than most of my friends but I'd still have to save up just like them because I know how expensive these things are. But I know how my friends work, they say they will see how much money they have in August and I just know they won't have saved up. The most sensible way to sort this out would be to visit a travel agents, book a holiday and pay installments every month. Simple surely?

 

If truth be told, its not just about a holiday either. I sometimes try to organise weekends away, even if its just an hours drive away from our home town and camp somewhere (change of scenery thats all). I wouldn't even mind if we went to another club or to another town and have a 'different' night out. But no, they'd rather sit in our local pub and do the same thing week after week, the same faces, the same walls, the same routine. It's becoming increasingly boring!

 

I am spontaneous, I wanna get out there and do things, see other places, see the world, meet people. I could do it alone but I don't want to, its just most people around me at the minute don't seem to want to achieve anything, have any goals set or at least just the urge to a small 'change' every now and again to make life more enjoyable. I have posted on here before but never about my friends, they have always been the ones who have understood me with previous situations but I'm just not happy doing the same thing ALL the time, and the holiday situation is the icing on the cake.

 

Ok, so a holiday is a major commitment both financially and time wise but on a smaller scale, surely we could something different at weekends. They are good friends but I feel eventually I'm just going to end up leaving them behind. Am I selfish to feel this way? Any thoughts would be really helpful. Thanks.

[renaissancewoman101]

Duff, you are not foolish to feel that way. You have a certain way that you like to live your life and do things. Your friends have their own way of doing things, living life. If they were your good friends, you probably could come to a compromise with them. Sometimes do things their way and hang out at the local pubs, whatever, and then sometimes do things your way and plan a day trip, weekend trip, or an actual vacation somewhere. Like you, I like to go out, explore the world, see new places, travel, try new things. My best friend likes to do that too but I have to contend with his bf which is a feat in itself. We compromise nowadays. I do things the way they want sometimes like sometime in the fall they are planning a trip to Italy. I am probably going to go with them but I am letting my best friend's bf plan the trip because he wants to. Later on this year or next year, I may suggest going somewhere and I plan the trip.

 

Duff, I actually had your type of a problem when I was dating my ex, which leads me to the next question. Are you sure your friends can comfortably afford doing the stuff you like to do? and are they the types that REALLY want to do the stuff you like? If not, then maybe you may have to find new friends. Reason I ask, is maybe your friends dont like the stuff you do or want to necessarily spend the money on traveling so they just make an excuse about why they cant go. My ex was like that. He was a kid at heart and wanted to spend all his time hanging out with his teenage friends, playing computer games, drinking, etc. I like to travel and do things so I would get him to come along and do the things I liked. He would always complain that he didnt have the money to do it. So I would pay for him to do things with me. I took him to LA to see my family and I paid for the brunt of the trip. When we finally broke up, he admitted to me that he never really liked the stuff I did because he felt out of place and that it was beyond what he could afford. I was floored by that.

[Alabama]

I understand where your coming from. You hate to do routine things and want to go out and have fun. But your friends are the opposite. I agree with the above poster, if you want to go out on this holiday trip, it would be best to compromise with your friends and do things they want, but they must understand that you will want want to do something else than go to the local pub. Talk with them about this and see where this idea goes. Good luck.