What am I doing wrong?

[pixie102]

I have no problem meeting guys and going on dates. I meet guys all the time. And then we go out on a date, or two, or three and then they never call me again. I never hear from them after that. (And I do make at least one attempt on my end--but if I don't hear from them even after that, I move on). This happens on a pretty consistent basis. I don't know how to go from dating to relationship. It's been a very long time since I've had a "relationship." I mean, I don't want every guy I date to turn into a relationship, but the ones I do want...never do.

 

I just met this guy that I really like and we went out on one date so far, Saturday and I'm just afraid I'm never going to hear from him again. I called him Sunday and left a message...but haven't heard back. And I'm not going to call him again...I'm not going to be pushy.

 

Can anyone give me any advice?

[Goodfun88]

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time in the dating world. Sometimes it takes a lot of tries to finds someone you click with and have them click with you too, thats why dating is so complicated! As far as the guy you went out with on Saturday, can I ask why you called him on Sunday? I know its old fashioned but after a date, I always wait for the guy to contact me. I especially would not have called the day after though. You may be coming off as desperate or clingy after one date, and thats a huge turn off for guys. Just my opinion! Good luck!

[monicaa]

Maybe in this moments, I'm not the best one to give you an advice because I'm going through confusing moment in my life.

 

But I think that maybe it has to do about how you behave with them in this first dates. Do you talk about them? Do you make them feel unique? Do you make them have a great time?

 

I don't know how your dates were but hope this helps.

[pixie102]

I called him because I took the advice of a friend...not sure if that was the right thing to do...you see, the date went so well (it was an afternoon lunch) that he asked me to go out that night with him and his friend. Well, he was supposed to call me and he never did. So, my friend said I should just call him on Sunday and tell him I ended up doing something else. I probably shouldn't have called him though. (I only left a message).

 

The actual date went very well though. We both asked each other a million questions and we have a lot in common and got along really well. And he asked me 3 different times what I was doing that night and then finally asked if I wanted to go out with him. Which is why I don't understand why he ended up not calling me that night?

 

And just in general...the guys that I date always say they have fun with me...so I don't know what I'm doing wrong?

[Goodfun88]

Maybe he really did want you to go with him and his friend, but he told his friend and his friends said dude, you can't ask her to go out tonight you just saw her. Plus its guys night, or some nonsense like that. Anyways, calling him to tell him you ended up doing something else seems weird. Kind of contrived, regardless of what you ended up doing, you shouldn't feel the need to point out that you made other plans after he didn't call you because I'm sure after one date he wouldn't assume that you would wait around all night for his call (whether you did or not). You never know he might be going on the advice of his friend, like you were going on the advice of your friend. Good luck!

[Pixiemeat]

I really dislike the playing games part of dating, so don't feel guilty for calling him. I'd usually contact after a day or two as well, just to say thanks, it's only polite after all. To be honest, if he said he'd call and didn't I'd be wary. Harsh, I know, but fair. If he's already saying he'll do things and not do them, then I'm detecting something funny. There's no need to tell him that you spent your evening doing something else though - it's not as if he expected you to hang on his every word!

[pixie102]

So I might have blown it with him? And I just have to wait? That's the hard part...waiting. I probably did blow it with him.

 

Goodfun...I can totally see that as what happened...his friend telling him not to call or something. This is a friend he hasn't seen in a long time.

 

Now I know in the future not to take my friends advice! I knew I should've listened to my instinct and not called him and I bet he would've called me last night then.

[walkingwithaghost]

um if he said he'd call you to hang out and didn't that is a bad sign. you shouldn't have called him on sunday. i would try to forget him. i don't know what you're doing wrong with guys. i have the same problem. all i suggest is you try to cultivate yourself mentally and physically for your own well being. concentrate on being as hot as possible.