Why do I feel so crummy if it is the right thing?

[designer71]

Hi everyone,

 

I wrote yesterday telling of my latest messed up adventure with my ex. Please read my other postings to gain an idea of what has been going on - especially yesterday's posting.

 

Anyhow, I called him and broke things off this afternoon, and I am in such a panic. I want to call him back so badly and tell him we can talk it over. I want to stay strong....I know he's a user and a loser, but I almost feel addicted to him and the drama.

 

Help!!

[Goodfun88]

Hey, I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad about this. But you said it yourself, he is a user and loser, and you deserve so much more than that! You can do this, it won't be easy, but it will be for the best! Stay strong and good luck!

[Relationship Coach]

I responded to your last post and you did not respond back. If you are continuing a thread it is best to keep it within the original thread so others can follow along easier and help you.

 

RC

[designer71]

sorry - I didn't realize that was the best way to go about it - thanks for the advice I do appreciate it - and I will check my other post!

[designer71]

and yes, this is still the same guy who had a naked pic sent to him and is on-line all the time. same guy.

[Relationship Coach]

Well, based on all of your posts which I have read, you did the right thing! The only reason I can come up with for you to feel crummy about is you waited so long to do it!

 

RC

[Sad_now]

Hi. I am going through a similar situation. Was involved with a TOTAL bastard who just USED me for TWO years and at the end told me he was OK with seeing me but would feel free to see other women too. Take it or leave it. I was SO humiliated. And HE left me saying otherwise he would end up hurting me. Even more humiliation. And you know what? All I want to do, is talk to him and be with him. I haven't and I hope I have the sense to never do that, but I really, really WANT to.

 

So I completely understand what you mean. I am seeing a therapist now as I am totally lost. Something the therapist said to me hit home and might help you. First was that sometimes we confuse missing a relationship with missing a person. Second was some people can get addicted to pain/confusion in a relationship because it's the only way they know. I am not saying this is the case with you (maybe was for me) but it's something to think about.

 

My point is that change always makes for stress and feels bad. Maybe THAT's what's making you feel bad. The change in status. The confusion. The loss of someone close. That always makes you feel bad. Doesn't mean what you have done is wrong. If this guy really wanted to be with you, he would fall over himself to make sure you knew it....