Just asking for a simple answer

[Blackheart]

I have a question for anybody that may be interested enough to give me an answer. All replys welcomed with open arms.

 

Can you love two people at once? Have you ever been or felt like you've been in this type of situation.

 

What do you do next?

 

](*,)

 

Thank you to all the following: (all of you have proved my point beyond my dreams thank you )

 

Thank you hareball for you comment by the way. Very interesting post reply from you. was pleasantly surprised.

[SilverCloud]

Yeh if they are your sibling....parents... friends ...

 

but if you mean in relationship then, no. I honestly believe you cant love them together. One has to have preference over the other.

 

Thats how i believe it is in relationships, cause humans are the only beings who get jealous, and thats why they only love one at a time.

 

To be honest if you love two people at the same time in the relationship then i think you probably dont love either.... but thats my two cents...

[tyler711]

Yes and no.

 

Yes: I love my fiancee unconditionally, and I also love my family.

 

No: I love my fiancee unconditionally, and no one could ever replace her as a partner.

 

I assume you're talking about two girlfriends? This is probably not the answer you wanted. I think it's possible to love someone, and be attracted to someone else, but to me, true love can only be shared between two people.

[mystik]

I agree with all above posters. My first relationship, I thought I was in "love" with the guy...but when I started falling for some other guy, I knew I had to break it off. No matter how much I wanted to wanted to believe I loved my (ex) boyfriend at the time, I also didn't believe it could have been love if I could really start to like someone else.

[Megami]

Just like they said: you can love someone and feel attracted to another one.

 

But to love, you only love once..at time.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I think by the meaning of romantic love, it can only be for one person. That individual is the person you feel bonded to beyond all others, a oneness that brings you together. I think love is a intensity and passion that can only be given to one, if you are not loving them with your entirety then you are not really loving them. Dividing your heart isn't possible.

[hareball]

I don't think that any of the other posters are wrong, but at the same time, you're not asking a simple question -- you're not just asking one question, and if all you want is a "simple" answer, you aren't going to get a true one.

 

So let's break it down -- the two questions are:

 

1) Can you love two people at once?

2) (If you love two people at once), What do you do next?

 

Quick, "simple" answer to the first question: Yes, absolutely. For some people, no this won't work, but don't mistake any single person's answer for the Truth with a capital t.

 

Quick, "simple" answer to the second question: It all depends on what you want, and what you're prepared to deal and live with.

 

Not to be facetious, but assuming that you mean something along the lines of "Can one person have two or more lovers and find some way to work it out," then history shows us this happens all the time. Not to be crude, but you're more likely to find polygamous relationships in most cultures over most of human history, than you are to find one-one permanent matches. Not passing a judgement here, this is just "simple" observation. So there's that.

 

But let's remove sex from the equation, to an extent -- is it possible in our current world to love one's [spouse, lover, significant other] very deeply, yet also love deeply another person who is not one's spouse and this person is loved with the same kinds of feelings one has for one's spouse? Unequivocally, yes. If you are actually talking about love, which I'll define as "love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of meeting one’s own or another’s spiritual growth."

 

Note the word "will" there. Not "just happens." Not "fuzzy feelings." Not "you can't choose who you love, love chooses you." That's crap. Love is an act of will, an act of consciousness. The guy who says, "Gee, I love my wife and kids" and spends all night in a bar, he doesn't love his wife and kids. The guy who grumbles about his wife leaving hair in the bathroom drain, but drives 200 miles in the rain to make sure she's safe when he can't reach her by phone, he loves her.

 

Let's say I love my wife. I'll take a bullet for her. Let's say there's someone else I love in my life who inspires me to write stories. I'll take a bullet for her, too. Leave me a lead-ridden corpse but don't tell me I can't love both of them just as much.

 

If you're talking about sex, then you're talking about possession. I'm cool with people saying, "I must have an exclusive sexual/physical connection with you in order for our love relationship to work on a certain level." That's fine.

 

But that's not all that love is. If it were, then we'd reduce love to a chemical process. That's not love.

 

Yes, you can love more than one person truly, madly, deeply. It's very difficult to do well, but it's also very difficult to climb mountains, swim oceans, build bridges, or fly airplanes. Just makes those things that much more special. So pace yourself.

 

As for the second question, what do you do next? You talk it over with those you love. You don't lie to them. You don't make them promises you cannot keep. If you screw up, and can't do something they ask of you, it's okay to apologize and see if it's okay to try again ... or try something else. And it's okay to change your mind, as long as you let them know as soon as soon as possible and don't do anything behind their backs, and that you're willing to bear the consequences of your actions.

 

It's not okay to lie about love. But that goes for even if you only love one person. And I very much recommend paying a great deal of attention to every step you take, with however many people you love in whatever way, to make sure that you are treating them with genuine love and not just your projections about what you would like love to be.

 

As for the concern that dividing one's heart isn't possible ... I know from experience that the only way love works is by breaking our hearts. And when love breaks our hearts, and they're all shattered and empty, that's when we finally have room enough inside for love to find a home.

[mystik]

wow. harebell, welcome and....wow - what a great post!

[hareball]

Thank you. Sometimes I get lucky. ;-)

[Momene]

I've certainly dated 2 girls at once but I've always felt I had to choose between them within a matter of weeks.

 

I think it is possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time but it's not common. One is if the 2 people are very very similar, like twins or brothers/sisters and the other is if you like traits in 2 people and wish yoiu could find one person with both traits.

 

I once dated a girl and later dated her sister because they both had the same loveable qualities.