Broke up did NC and got back together

[tasiattasia]

Hi, first poster.. Here it goes straight from the heart. I fell in love with this guy 2 and 1/2 years ago. We broke up and did NC for about 2 months. I couldn't stand it anymore and I broke NC. When I broke NC he was very sad and we immediately started seeing each other again. We have been on the title of just (seeing each other) for about 6 months now. Last weekend I finally got brave and asked him exactly where the relationship was going. Because I wasn't sure and didn't want to pressure him. But I needed to know for my own state of mine. I told him to give it to me straight up and he did. So guess, I'm feeling a little hurt. He said that we are in a relationship and that he has known me for a long time and that we get along well. Just not well when we lived together. He said that he misses me and wishes he could see me more. But that I need to stay busy to fight the loneliness. With all this being said does it sound like he won't commit to a long term relationship?

[Lansing]

Why did you break up initially?

 

Are you looking for marriage? What type of commitment do you want? (or do you mean, him not seeing other girls??)

[kadvati79]

How old are you? I'm 24 and most of my friends seem to struggle when they move in with someone. Sometimes it is best to "take it slow", and keep each other territory, so long as its a committed relationship and both are happy.

[tasiattasia]

Hi Lansing

 

lol, I guess I'm hard to live with. I don't really think so but that's what others say. I"m kinda a grouch in the morning and a neat freak.

 

I'm 35.

[tasiattasia]

oh, i'm not looking for marriage. marriage doesn't work for me. He said that he isn't seeing anyone else and I believe him. i do want to live together again. but right now he doesn't want that.

[kadvati79]

He said that we are in a relationship and that he has known me for a long time and that we get along well

 

That sounds pretty positive to me... although did he say he loved you? After 2 1/2 years, if love ain't there - well - you aren't gonna find it in a packet of cereal one day when you wake up or anything.

 

Just not well when we lived together. He said that he misses me and wishes he could see me more. But that I need to stay busy to fight the loneliness. With all this being said does it sound like he won't commit to a long term relationship?

 

It feels like I am missing something here? Do you guys *actually* have a relationship? Just feels like you are holding back on something here... Are you guys in some sort of "casual" arrangement? I mean, if he says he is committed to you and is enjoying things, but doesn't want to live together, I don't think thats necessarily the end of the world. It doesn't on its own mean anything significant.

[chai714]

In my opinion, he's merely saying, "keep busy when we're not together." It's not necessarily negative - he's putting this in a pretty nice way for you.

 

What you should do: don't come off as needy. You're doing well at taking things slow and not pressuring him, but make sure you've got a busy schedule so that you don't become a needy person. You can land this guy back with you so long as you concentrate on making yourself happy by filling your days with meaningful activities.

[tasiattasia]

thankyou guys

 

yes we were previously living together in a long-term relationship. He had told me a few times that he loved me. He communicated well with me. But I couldn't communicate with him. I don't think that I was totally healed from the guy that I was married to before I met him. My ex husband treated me like crap and when i met him (a guy that treats me good) I didn't know what to expect or how to act. I had a really hard time trusting my now bf and it caused much problems.

[miticalzz]

tasia,

I know it is very hard to trust after you have come out of a bad relationship. But I think this guy is nice and is being honest with you. Try to let go and trust him.

[kadvati79]

Love like you have never been hurt

 

(One day, someone with love you back exactly the same)

[solo34]

"Love like you have never been hurt"

 

 

That's great advice, icemotoboy...and I couldn't have said it better! That's the reason why U have 2 let the past be just that. We can't take our past ex's ways of treating us into the new relationship with others, because everyone's different. Even if the ex treated us great, we can't expect that from the new guy/girl...because the new one isn't the ex.

 

-Solo34