i like this girl but i am insanely shy

[crazy kid]

well i am 16 and there is this girl at school that i like and she likes me too, but when i see her, my face turns demonically red and I can't say anything, and then later i feel like crap and think "you should've said something you piece of ****! HAHA!" and this has been happening for a year. she clearly wants me but i'm so stupid.

 

for 2 straight days I was thinking "don't care what happens, just talk to her, you are god" and my face got way less red and i felt less frozen and like i could've said something, but she had a zillion friends at her locker and there's no way in hell i will survive that much pressure. even when I trick myself to have supreme self confidence of a psychopath by thinking I am god and everyone else is a talking monkey, that does work for everything except this situation because of these nasty panic attacks of fear.

 

is there some way i can stop this gay shyness? everytime i see her i get a little bit less shy, but the difference is so tiny that only an insane doctor can notice. what the **** do I do to stop this?! I feel like dying, jesus christ...

[keenan]

Ok, first for the girl: What if you write her a note? I haven't been in high school for a long time; I don't know if people still do that. Probably they just text message and stuff. Sigh.

 

Second, for the shyness: This will get better with practice. It's like anything--it's scary the first few times, and then you'll get better and it will feel more natural. Promise.

 

Mmmm, and sorry to blast ya, but shyness isn't 'gay', and 'gay isn't bad.

[Seko]

Yeah, I was going to make the same comment about the use of the word gay that keenan just did.

 

As for the girl...don't write her a note. I am a big believer in face-to-face introductions. I'm shy too, so I know how hard this can be, but you just have to force yourself to do it. A lot of girls think it's kind of lame and wimpy for a guy to hide behind the computer to talk to them, especially if he doesn't talk to them person afterwards. Also, having your first conversation (and second, and third, and fourth...) on the internet just makes things even more awkward next time you see each other. It's kind of like "oh, okay, so are we on speaking basis now, or is this just an online thing? Should I say hi?"....and then if you don't, you feel weird saying it the next time too, and talking to the person just doesn't get any easier.

I think she might find it weird if she discovers a note from you in her locker or on her desk. That's semi-stalker status from the point of view of a lot of girls these days. (Writing notes and leaving them for her to find is seen as cute AFTER you start going out though )

 

I think the whole "I am god" thing is actually a very good tactic. You should keep doing that if it helps you. But to make talking to her easier...do you have any classes with her? Is your locker near hers? I've gotten to know a lot of random people just because I regularly sat near them in one of my classes. You end up doing group work together sometimes if it's history or English...and then there are all those opportunities to talk when the teacher leaves the room for a minute, when the teacher comes late to class, and when class is dismissed. Even a few small comments: "I don't get this at all", "I hate this class", or...anything...can help move things along. A few of those little exchanges, a few exchanged smiles, and you are saying hi to her in class and in the halls

Otherwise...if you see her standing around by herself sometime (waiting for her parents afterschool perhaps? Or maybe in the library?), definitely go talk to her. After the first conversation, even if she is with a group of her friends (as long as she's not in the center of attention), it will be much easier to casually go up to her. And she probably thinks it's cute that you blush so much when talking to her.

[epilogue]

You're not insecure about yourself right? That's something that needs to be done completely before going for this.

 

If you've confirmed that..

Ask her now, or it will haunt you even after graduate college

Unless you're gonna be in a Letters & Science major, I strongly suggest you make your move

 

Most importantly, no matter what happens, don't let the outcome make you think any less of yourself. If anything, you should feel better about yourself for doing something I (and other guys who let shyness get the best of them) couldn't do. If the girls see you get accepted or shot down and you keep your cool, they will know that you're not insecure.

[ShySoul]

Even though I doubt that this was the intent of the word, you do know that gay can mean happy? And being happiness with your shyness is a good thing.

 

Anyways, It's ok that you are nervous. You really know everything that you need to do. Psych yourself up and go talk. You are God, they are monkees (thank you, I love that imagry ). Get back to that state, however you did it before. And this time, talk to her, group or no group.

 

Other thing is to not feel bad that you haven't done it thus far. It's ok, this takes time. Just keeping trying and you will get it done.