dishrag Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I decided I had enough quiet in the home to get a cat from the local shelter. I love my new cat, but after I got her home it reminded me of how much of an animal lover my ex was. It makes me sad to see this kitty having so much fun and being loving and not seeing my ex playing with her or holding her. It is actually worse here now that I have a buddy of my own. This makes no sense to me as I'm crying and having a hard time with it. The cat is a connection to my ex and this just doesn't make any sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brahman Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 depending on how close/attached you got, everything could be a reminder of you EX. personlly i would keep the cat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evy38 Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 Eventually, you will only see the cat and you will grow to love it very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dishrag Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 The cat and I hit it off so well together. I brought her home this afternoon after work and she really loves it here. She's very affectionate and playful but when she gets tired, she goes and lays down on the comforter on the bed at my ex's pillow. I miss my ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evy38 Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 The cat and I hit it off so well together. I brought her home this afternoon after work and she really loves it here. She's very affectionate and playful but when she gets tired, she goes and lays down on the comforter on the bed at my ex's pillow. I miss my ex. But you knew the cat would not replace the ex, yes? It is for extra company and a little unconditional love. It will give you that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginger25 Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I really feel for you cos I know how hard it is, and I wish there was something to say to make you feel better but I know there really isn't an easy answer. Just try and distract yourself as much as u can. I wouldn't even eat certain things cos they reminded me of him, u will be ok though. Just remember you aren't alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dishrag Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 Thanks all. Yep, I knew my cat wouldn't replace my ex, and I was doing SO well. I mean happy as a clam and then WHAM! This, of all things, was supposed to be a little thing for me to help me feel better and it reminded me so much of her. Unreal. I don't get it. I wish I could be out and about at least for a few hours but I'm tied to my computer at home because of remote work - I'm on standby this weekend for a major project. Let me throw a movie in or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 Give all your love to the cat. It may not be a human, but I'm sure the cat won't mind being pet and played with every time your down. I love my kitty and when I feel crappy I give her a hug and listen to her purr and it makes me feel so much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Songbird Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 Hey dishrag The cat in my avatar used to belong to one of my exes. When he left he didn't bother to take her with him. She's a one person cat & the first year after the breakup was very hard for her. She was able to recognize the sound his car made when he would come home from work & she would run to the door to greet him. After the split it was heartbreaking to see her run to the door when she thought it could be him, then only be disappointed by the cold silence. She couldn't stand being near me, let alone me touching her. That resulted in almost being bitten if I wasn't careful. I love animals & there's no way that I was going to abandon her like he did just because she was difficult. It's been eight years since he left. She has completely changed her attitude with time & a lot of patience. We are inseparable now. I often still think of my ex when I look at her, but at the same time I'm grateful she came into my life. I think this new cat is a positive change for you, animals are always going to love you no matter what happens in your life. Give her some time to let the bond between you two grow. I don't think you'll be sorry you did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dishrag Posted February 25, 2006 Author Share Posted February 25, 2006 Songbirg - that has to be tough. There is a definate connection with your cat that I don't have and that makes your story so much more difficult. I'm glad it worked out that she would be comfortable with you and your new buddy. My cat and I are doing well here on day 2. She's always with me. It will be tough to leave the house for a few hours today with her here alone but she will do fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daregveda Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 see, now I feel like a d1ck because I put our cat out a few weeks after she left me. I never liked him much; I hated cleaning his box and I hated that you couldn't turn your back on him with him trying to snatch your food or knock over your drink. He was also a constant reminder of her, after Our first child got too grown to cuddle and before the birth of our second child, he was her little baby and he was always in her lap or laying by her side. He also started "crying" at night, I presume he misses the girls or his "mommy" Maybe I'll look for him tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Songbird Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 Hey daregveda Did you find the cat? I understand that your situation is really rough right now. I've read through your story & you have a lot on your plate for sure. Unfortunately animals sometimes get neglected in the midst of a seperation. When left to fend for themselves, some cats don't do so well especially in winter. If nobody wants him, would it be possible to bring him to an animal shelter? If you don't have the time or the means to do that, some shelters will send someone over to pick up the animal. Just a suggestion... What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daregveda Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I didn't see him today. I think I'm just going to let him back in and clean him up when I find him. I sort of understand how he feels, having the woman he loves the most in the world turn her back on us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dishrag Posted March 6, 2006 Author Share Posted March 6, 2006 I hope you do find him. Has he come back to visit yet??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daregveda Posted March 6, 2006 Share Posted March 6, 2006 Man, I still haven't seen him. And what's worse, I keep forgetting to look for him. A few nights ago I thought I heard him on the porch, but it was another cat. It's not that I don't care, just that I've got so much going on right now. I'm in school now, working evenings and weekends and still missing my family. I think we made some progress this week; I told her that I finally understood why she had left and that I was sorry for the way I had let things get before I tried to make them better. Since then, she has contacted me a few times, even sending pics of our baby to my cell phone late at night. I've been giving her time to think and miss me, I'm making good money, good grades and I've made every effort to spend time with our daughters. I'm working on us without trying to seem like I'm working on us. I'm doing well in college, I'm enjoying my new job and when I do see her or talk to her, I maintain control and am the first to say goodbye. She hasn't asked once about the cat, which is kind of strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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