Low sex drive... is this normal? don't really masturbate, etc.

[Lily04]

Hi,

 

Ok, not to hijack the other thread, I'm posting this here. I do "masturbate" like a few times a day. The thing is that I don't do it like most people where it's sorta a sexual and intimate time.. for me it's just because I just feel an urge to touch there, but there's no sexual association with it. I don't climax or anything, I may just touch myself for like a few seconds/minutes and that's it. I don't do anything to get turned on, I don't feel turned on or any emotional difference really... nothing. It just fulfills an urge/feeling almost like if something tickled and you scratch it and then it's done.

 

Is this sorta normal or not...? My boyfriend also noted that I was strangely not into sex when we were dating and asked if I was sexually abused or something (I wasn't). I thought it was because I wasn't really physically attracted to him at all. I mean that's gotta influence it. But I'm like NEVER turned on. The only thing from my childhood/teen years I can think of that could have influenced me was because my Dad also made me feel bad for being attracted to boys when I was younger, and discouraged dating at all until I was like... in college. He also didn't like me going to parties/sleepovers, and I never had crushes... I was pretty isolated as a pre-teen, never went through any of that girly crush stage... never learned what masturbation and sex even was until quite late, never took an interest in it and my parents never talked about sex and discouraged it. I don't know... I just hope I'll enjoy sex in the future but right now I pretty much don't have a sex drive I think. And as I'm 21 that's sorta worrisome...if I don't have it now, when will I have it...? Is there anything I can do to help... make one? lol... or maybe I just have to wait until I find the right person and then I'll feel turned on then? I don't know...

[CarnelianButterfly]

Are you taking anti-depressants, they can kill your sex drive. Or maybe its hormonal, since I've been on birth control I feel more sexually charged, usually peaking pre-menstration. I didn't have periods before and not as much interest in sex either.

[Lily04]

Hey,

 

No, I'm not on any medication, and I'm not on the birth control pill either. I find I'm usually more sexually charged during my periods and right before it, but otherwise I never am...

[CarnelianButterfly]

My doc thought my problem may have been partly due to low estrogen levels since my cycle was so sporadic. I have other issues that caused me problems, but the physical symptoms weren't really manifestations of that.

[Lily04]

That could also be the case for me! Because my periods aren't usually regular, I'll get them at totally different times of the month...could this also be caused by low estrogen levels? Maybe I should talk to a doctor about it as well...

[newts]

I would say if you get the urge to touch yourself, try touching a litle more and explore the possibility of arousing yourself to the point of orgasm. I have heard some many friends say they are not very sexual and I ask them if they have ever had an orgasm and they say they haven't. It is hard to be into something which doesn't make it worth trying again or wanting to be turned on.

 

My advice is to try to make yourself climax, explore just a little further and totally satisfy your urges.

[Ash]

Supposedly, men peak sexually in their late teens to early 20's. Women peak sexually in their 30's. If this is true, you haven't reached that point in your life yet.

 

From what I've seen and heard of (being older myself) this is definitely true in many cases and many women are far more eager and excepting of sex and all that goes with it than they were when they were younger. And many men can't quite keep up any more.

 

But anyway Lily, if you're willing to openly discuss this now I'd have to think that later on you'll enter a more sexual state. You're not shying away or hiding from it, you'll grow into it as you move ahead in years.