markm Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 Ok, almost 3 weeks of NC, and havent heard from her in 1 week. Well, this morning I took the last of her stuff and dropped it off at her front door while she wasn't home. 1 hour later I receive a text message from her: "Thank you for dropping off my things. Hope you are doing well" I feel like crap now. Her B-day is tomorrow, and I have some family in town that she never met. I'm bummed. Now, I just got my mail and some letters are for her. Do I go all the way to her place again and drop it off, or text her to pick it up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 U do neither...U put it back in your mailbox with the flag up. U write on the letter "Wrong address...Does not live here." and leave it 2 the post office. Or U can drive 2 the post office and do a change of address 4 her. There U go, case closed. -Solo34 It's a community mailbox with no flag, and she has already changed her address at the post office. Not sure why stuff came today, probably B-day letters and one thing from her scholarship fund. I feel like she was reaching out to me a bit when she was randomly texting me all the time with mixed signals. Now, for last week I havent heard from her at all until today, only cause she saw that I dropped off her stuff. I really don't want to lose her. I have been NC for 3 weeks, am I just supposed to ignore ALL her texts? Won't she just get fed up eventually and just say "screw it"? Then again, she probably thinks I'm doing great, not responding to her, she's having troubles with the new guy (off & on), and thinking I'm with another woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 OK, so get this!!!! One of her girlfriends, Jodi, calls me at 12:30am last night. Her and a bunch of other of Karen's girlfriends were out at a bar/club. Well, they told me how they were all out and Karen just left with the new guy and just ditched all her friends. They said that they all were gonna celebrate Karen's Birthday (which is today) by taking her out and stuff. They feel like she is gonna just blow them all off. They are all pissed off at her and can't believe what she is doing, etc. Apparently, (this is a good one) on St. Patty's Day the new guy got kicked out of the bar and bailed on Karen and her friends. Well, I already knew this. But, her friends tell me that he ENDED UP IN JAIL!!!! HAHAHAHA! They can't believe she is with him, etc etc. And went on and on about how this guy broke up with her 3 times and they've only been dating a month, LOL. So Jodi tells me that all her friends are pissed off and they want to hang out with me instead tonight on Karen's B-day. LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONO Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Mark, If she is not drawing comparisons by now she is a robot. I doubt she is that mate. Leave her to do that by herself and watch from a distance whilst trying to move on. Scruff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majord23 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 It's really satisying to hear stuff that mate, BUT you have to avoid getting reading into this information...and indeed avoid getting it at all if possible. All it does is messes with your head Mark: 1. If she stays with this guy for a few months, you are going to be pulling your hair out trying to understand why. 2. If she comes back to you, you are going to wonder if it is because she truly loves you or if it was just because the new guy was such an idiot. You will wonder if she would have come back to you if the other guy was even half decent. 3. If she comes back, I am certain there will be some animosity on your part because she preferred to be with him rather than you for whatever period of time...and this will cause friction. I would avoid contact with her friends - they may be on your side, and while they may think they're doing you a favour by telling you how much of a d*ck your ex's new boyfriend is...they aren't. Because at the end of the day, and as harsh as this sounds, she is choosing this idiot over you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonelyinasmalltown Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 I would avoid contact with her friends - they may be on your side, and while they may think they're doing you a favour by telling you how much of a d*ck your ex's new boyfriend is...they aren't. Because at the end of the day, and as harsh as this sounds, she is choosing this idiot over you. He's absolutely right. I'd also like to add, why would you want someone who would choose an idiot like that over you anyway? After all, the world is filled with idiots like that, if she can go chasing after this one so quick without a thought on how it hurts you, she can and would do it again. As for you contacting her, I know you're agonizing about contacting her. Don't though. REMEMBER, it was HER choice to leave you, let her live with HER decision. Don't reward her for hurting you by calling her. If she really does miss you and wants you back, trust me. SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW. Until she does that, you're only torturing yourself by wondering what she's thinking. Who knows what she's thinking? Only she does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP Meridien Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Yeah. Agree with friscodi. She sounds extremely dependant and needy, and this coming from a highly emotional girl by the way. She's not been sure you were the one since the beginning... thus why the second ya'll break up she runs off to be with someone (or many) other people. You've tried. She's not into you, but the second you are gone, she wants you back. She sounds pretty immature, actually. Here's a question- You love this girl. In the last 3 years, break or not, have you hooked up with or dated anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 Yeah. Agree with friscodi. She sounds extremely dependant and needy, and this coming from a highly emotional girl by the way. She's not been sure you were the one since the beginning... thus why the second ya'll break up she runs off to be with someone (or many) other people. You've tried. She's not into you, but the second you are gone, she wants you back. She sounds pretty immature, actually. Here's a question- You love this girl. In the last 3 years, break or not, have you hooked up with or dated anyone else? Well, I'm gone now and she hasn't shown any signs of wanting me back, except for the text messages and popping in with her family that one time. One time when she broke if off 1.5 years ago I dated a bit, then dated 1 girl for a couple of months. I never had any feelings for that girl even though she was very sexy and very nice to me. I NEVER slept with anyone since I've known Karen. I need to have feelings for a woman before I sleep with them. And I would not have dated anyone else had she not broken it off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP Meridien Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Did she tell you while you weren't with her that she was dating someone else? I only ask you this, because as 20-somthing woman, I know the games we play a little too well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 Did she tell you while you weren't with her that she was dating someone else? What do you mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP Meridien Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Honestly, it sounds to me like she's using you as her "emergency" guy. Meaning, she knows you're not the one, but she's not yet found the one. She basically trying to keep you around so that she has you as a back-up to pump up her emotions. Everytime you bail, she wants you back. After the first time, she thought maybe you'd give her everything she wanted and she could sculpt you into the man she wanted you to be. Honestly, you sound like a great guy that can find someone way better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 Honestly, it sounds to me like she's using you as her "emergency" guy. Meaning, she knows you're not the one, but she's not yet found the one. She basically trying to keep you around so that she has you as a back-up to pump up her emotions. Everytime you bail, she wants you back. After the first time, she thought maybe you'd give her everything she wanted and she could sculpt you into the man she wanted you to be. Honestly, you sound like a great guy that can find someone way better. Well, I have bailed. And she has shown that she is really into this new guy (for whatever reason) and is staying clear of me. So I' not sure how she is "keeping me around" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo34 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Good 4 U M&M...Stay away from her. -Solo34 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP Meridien Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Some girls look for confirmation from people without even being knowledgeable of their actions. She probably, at one point, thought you could possibly be the one. She's shown you that she knows in her heart you're not. She's dating lots of guys because she hopes to find the one. She's not yet found the one, so she needs you to confirm that she's hot and someone wants her. She's sounds tad immature. When you said she could live with you, she thought maybe she could sculpt you into the one. You were loving her. You weren't loving her the way she thought she should be loved... ie her perfect man... which she'll grow-up and eventually realize doesn't exist. She's hurting you more than you deserve. After 3 years, she knows you're not the one... otherwise no way would she be dating anyone else. At the same time, she's scared of ending up alone. Is she 30 too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 She did live with me. For 1.5 years. Is she 30 too? She turned 29 today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP Meridien Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Yeah. Seriously, that's the age. plus or minus 30. I hate to sound like a know-it-all just been through this with so many of my guy friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP Meridien Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 She's telling you about this guy, right? So you're jealous. She needs confirmation that you'll still be there if things don't work out. She knows in her heart that you're not the one, but she's given you about 3 years. She knew you weren't the one when you took that break. She knew you weren't the one when she bought those tickets. She knew it. She just doesn't want you to know she knows it. It's hard to hear... I know... but you can't make someone love you that doesn't know how to love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo34 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 MP Meridien...She's 29, how could it be "PLUS or MINUS 30?" She wouldn't even be born, and you're saying that at 59, she'd still be in limbo? -Solo34 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP Meridien Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 oy. she's around 30. sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jl301 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Hey Mark, Hang in there, I bet today being her birthday is kind rough for you. Things will get better. Like Mp Meridien said; don't let her use you as her backup. You deserve so much better, we all deserve to be love/care equally by our loved one. Keep up the NC!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo34 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 That still makes no sense...Plus or minus 30? +/- at 30 would mean either 0 or 60. -Solo34 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 She's telling you about this guy, right? No. I just find this stuff out from one of our friends. And her email was on on Computer for a while. She needs confirmation that you'll still be there if things don't work out. She knows in her heart that you're not the one, but she's given you about 3 years. She knew you weren't the one when you took that break. She knew you weren't the one when she bought those tickets. She knew it. She just doesn't want you to know she knows it. It's hard to hear... I know... but you can't make someone love you that doesn't know how to love. She was mad/hurt becuase I wasn't being as loving as she wanted me to. I was holding grudges against her (which was stupid) and we bickered about stupid stuff. She was very much in love with me. She met this other guy, but still wanted me. But the instant I told her how much I loved her etc. she cut loose and went after this new pot-smoking, jailbird, going-nowhere schmuck that has an illegitemate 6 year-old son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo34 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Man M&M, she's just a confused little girl...and at 29, that's some really sad stuff. Hang in there, man. You'll be good...Did U ever holler at Lady Bugg? Haha...She was feelin' U, man. -Solo34 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted March 24, 2006 Author Share Posted March 24, 2006 Man M&M, she's just a confused little girl...and at 29, that's some really sad stuff. Hang in there, man. You'll be good...Did U ever holler at Lady Bugg? Haha...She was feelin' U, man. -Solo34 LOL. mmmmmmmmmm.....Lady Bug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo34 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Yeah, she's a cutie... -Solo34 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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