PocoDiablo Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 One thing I always tell guys is to NEVER check out other women while you are on a date. It's rude, disrespectful, and your date does notice and does think less of you for doing it. So, in this regard, he just needs to learn some manners like a gentleman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 One thing I always tell guys is to NEVER check out other women while you are on a date. It's rude, disrespectful, and your date does notice and does think less of you for doing it. So, in this regard, he just needs to learn some manners like a gentleman. Before I committed to an exclusive relationship with my current boyfriend, I had gone on a few dates with another guy. My first date with that guy, he totally checked out the bartender who had the hugest boobs. I mean, I can see why he would have checked her out, but he was so blatant about it. When the time came for me to make a decision between which guy to get serious with, that was one of the incidents I remembered. That's not the main reason I decided not to continue dating that guy, but it certainly came to my mind when I was making the decision. I'd also like to say I've had two boyfriends in the past who gawked at women all the time. Yet they would get furious if I looked at or even talked to another guy and would accuse me of cheating. But they are the ones that turned out to be cheaters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocoDiablo Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 I've had two boyfriends in the past who gawked at women all the time. Yet they would get furious if I looked at or even talked to another guy and would accuse me of cheating. But they are the ones that turned out to be cheaters. Big surprise. People tend to place their internal blame onto others. They accuse you of cheating? It's because they cheated or are thinking about it. That's always a red flag in my book... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 yup! too true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessy Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Hi there... in my opinion, noticing other attractive people isn't necessarily a 'guy thing'. I notice when other men are attractive all the time, as does my boyfriend, and every other human! This is a natural HUMAN thing! If you don't mind it, fine. If it bothers you, say something. I know it's going to happen, and I'm okay with it, but my boyfriend doesn't look in front of me, or at least noticably. It's a respect issue, actually. If your guy knows it bothers you, he should keep his eyes in his head while you two are together... out of respect for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luciana Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 "When you get jealous of the other girls just remind yourself that your bf is with you and not them!" That is true, but if you were not there, they surely would talk to that girl...and if she hit on him, he surely would sleep with her..sorry, it's the truth. They look because they ARE attracted. DAko, business travel is also dangerous territory, especially with other males. SOme men just can't say no from peer pressure (they are afraid of seeming weak or p** whipped). And on travel they are anonymous. No one will tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 That is true, but if you were not there, they surely would talk to that girl...and if she hit on him, he surely would sleep with her..sorry, it's the truth. They look because they ARE attracted. If a guy would do that then he doesn't have respect for you to begin with and you are better off without him. Guys look because eyes tend to notice things, and if a girl is there, the eyes will see her. But that doesn't mean it goes beyond a brief superficial glance and is then ignored. A guy can have the willpower not to sleep with any girl that hits on him. Some guys are weak and would do that, but most won't. And the guys that would are losers who you are better of without. If you've run into guys like that before, don't assume all guys are like that. Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted March 2, 2006 Share Posted March 2, 2006 If a guy would do that then he doesn't have respect for you to begin with and you are better off without him. Guys look because eyes tend to notice things, and if a girl is there, the eyes will see her. But that doesn't mean it goes beyond a brief superficial glance and is then ignored. A guy can have the willpower not to sleep with any girl that hits on him. Some guys are weak and would do that, but most won't. And the guys that would are losers who you are better of without. If you've run into guys like that before, don't assume all guys are like that. Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch. Yeah, it may be the case that if you weren't in a RELATIONSHIP with the guy, he would talk to her. But if you think that it's only your actual physical presense that is keeping him from having sex with her right then and there, then I think the relationship is in deep trouble!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkylinesTurnstiles Posted March 4, 2006 Share Posted March 4, 2006 hey.yea my bf used 2 do that and it was really annoying.so i did it bak . he got the message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fif Angel Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 When you think about it, 5-10 seconds is actually quite a long time to eye up a girl. I mean count to 10 in your head, whilst looking at the same object-it's just blatant staring!! I suppose it is natural for guys to look at other woman, but if they're being blatant about it, i.e turning their head right round, actually staring as opposed to a discreet glance then it's time to have a quiet word with them, just tell them you find it disrespectful. One thing though, I have found in the past that if you go out with your man, assuming he will be eyeing up other woman you will find it everywhere. Even if it is a perfecetly innocent glance for half a second at, say, a painting or a building you will automatically think `right, who is he looking at now?!` Our imagination tends to fill in the gaps. It's good not to get too paranoid about it. Also, if you're fundamentally happy in yourself it tends not to be so much of a problem. Yes, she may be pretty but is she funny, witty, clever? If your man actually struck up a conversation with this girl he might find her hideous. Attraction is about so much more than looks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Would seem to me that if you were with the person you love, you wouldn't be able to take your eyes off of her. Why look at anyone else when you can look at the most beautiful person in the world? To say its natural for guys to do that just seems like an easy excuse and justification for something they know is wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 I don't see it as wrong. Nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. I agree that a 10 second stare down is a bit creepy... but it's creepy whether you're with someone or single. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 A ten second stare from a stranger seems like rape by eyeball to me. Ick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 If you want to appreciate beauty, would not your partner be the highest form of beauty? Would she not be a masterpiece? When I'm walking with the one I love, the rest of the world fades away and all I can think of or see is her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJRon Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Usually, my partner and I are both checking them out... Just because I drive a Porsche doesn't mean I don't check out the Ferraris and, sometimes, pause to pity the Kias. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 If that works for you. Personally, I think that once you are with the one who are meant to be with, then there's no need to check someone else out, because you can't get any better then what you already have. It is based upon superficial criteria, why not focus instead on what really counts. Hence really, the whole notion of checking any one out really makes little sense to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 I think if you are uncomfortable with it and he continues, that is disrespectful. Again with this topic and I don't mean to start another huge debate, but people are attracted to other people. Even if they are with their perfeck mate. Looking doesn't equal cheating. But, as I said, if it bothers you, you've told him it does and he blatantly disregards your feelings, he is being disrespectful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 If that works for you. Personally, I think that once you are with the one who are meant to be with, then there's no need to check someone else out, because you can't get any better then what you already have. It is based upon superficial criteria, why not focus instead on what really counts. Hence really, the whole notion of checking any one out really makes little sense to me. You're right ShySoul. Unfortunately, it takes a great deal of maturity to recognize this and proceed accordingly. And let's face it, most people in their twenties don't have the maturity to do so. How the heck did you get such a level-headed perspective at the age of 23, by the way? When I was your age, I was a complete neanderthal in my approach to relationships, lol. Also, we really do live in an age where everyone is constantly trying to upgrade every facet of their lives. The grass always looks greener on the other side. No one is really living in the moment anymore and assessing their plentiful CURRENT blessings, it's all about how can I get more, more, more...and it's an indication of a pretty unhealthy society, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Scout, I've seen my share of horrible relationships. I've seen the pain they have cause. This is especially true with my mother who has endured so much pain in this area. And because I tend to feel things along with people, hurt when they hurt, I told myself I wasn't going to put myself in any of those situations. I figured that someone had to break the cycle of hurt and bad relationships, so why not me? I agree, its easier said then done (deja vu). I'm far from perfect in these things myself. And there is nothing wrong with doing it occasionally. What's important is that we aspire to higher ideals. If we don't always get there, its ok. But the effort is what counts. I try to live by the motto "if nothing that we do matters, then all that matters is what we do" and "live as though the world was as it should be, to show it what it can be." If we don't always live up to those values and falter at times, important thing is we try because as long as we try, there is still hope for better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Wendy, You are not being too sensitive. That is going beyond normal behavior. It's one thing to notice someone, but to constantly point them out just comes accross as insulting. You are probably already sensitive about your weight and appearance, that just rubs your face in it and brings you down. You shouldn't have to put up with it. Let him know exactly how you feel, how much it hurts you. Let him know it has to stop. Give him a chance to change, and don't hesitate to call him on something if he does it again. But if he keeps it up much longer and its just hurting you, then he really isn't worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 erm... no, you are not being too sensitive, and this is FAR beyond normal behavior. I'm a normal weight, have a few extra pounds. I've also been overweight. Most of the guys I dated didn't have a problem with it. After all, they wouldn't be dating me unless they thought I was attractive. One guy did, he was always making comments, and he became my ex-boyfriend, PROMPTLY!!!!! No, it is really not typical. If your boyfriend is good and loving, he will accept you and support you no matter what size you are or may be in the future. If you want to lose weight, he will be supportive and help you, but he won't make you feel bad about yourself or constantly needle you. I think you should ditch this guy, ASAP!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girl_83 Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 well to be honest i feel a little insecure if the girl looks better than me. does that make any sense? i think i have a problem with jealousy. plus if he talks to the girl and seems interested in what she is saying then i will get up and leave. so i only really find humor if they aren't competition. i know what u mean and im exactly like that aswell. Like when we go out and i see him checking out other girls and sometimes i see him doing it but i pretend that i havnt noticed so he tries making it obvious by pointing her out..i usually laugh it off sometimes and other times i'll just agree with him and say yehh shes pretty. Its better then arguing over it, arguments never lead to anywhere good anyways. I checked out a guy once, just to see his reaction and he compeletly flipped out and ignored me the whole day. So i dont do it anymore since i saw his reaction. I thought it was cute though. To be honest, it doesnt bother me at all when he makes it obvious..even if shes compeletely beautiful..the only time that it bothers me is when he thinks i dont know hes checking them out and he doesnt say anything about it. Its hard to explain but you get my drift Only time that it bothers me really is when i know hes gonna be going out..and he'll be checking out other girls while im not around..that makes me feel a bit anxious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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