Do I love her?

[Steven1607307306]

My whole life I believed that it took months, maybe years to fall in love. I always thought that you had to wait a certain amount of time before you know. And then the same people say, you know your in love, because...you just know. In my situation those statements contradict each other. I MET my girlfriend 4 weeks ago, and we have been dating for 3 1/2 of those. Now I know that it seems like no time at all, but honestly, it feels like I've known her forever. My whole life, I dreamed about how my love would be. How the first girl I loved would love me just as much, and we would share the same opinions on most things. So it happened. I didn't date her, knowing I would fall in love, of course it wasn't love at first sight. I went out with her, just thinking it would be a fun relationship, nothing too serious. Well, she told me the same, but obviously we were both wrong. The way I feel while I'm with her is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. When I kiss her, I am rising above, when we make love, it's always the best, and when I hold her in my arms, it's like I never want to let go.

Now I know that I am only 17, and I have only known this girl for 4 weeks, but my question is, is it possible to fall in love without looking for it, and if so, why has it come so fast? Also, from what I told you, do YOU think that I am in love, or just in a relationship that will end up hurting both of us? Any replies will help, thnks AGAIN guys!

[Alabama]

4 weeks seems kind of quick to fall in love with someone, it could just be infautation for the person. Don't make any claims just yet; how well do you know this person already? Have you met her family or a lot of her friends? Don't make any conclusions yet and just see how things go. Good luck.

[Steven1607307306]

I've met her parents, and she says they really like me, I've met most of her friends, only one doesn't like me. My girlfriend told her that I was the most perfect guy in the world, and her friend tells her it's too good to be true, and that I must be hiding somthing from her. And I'm not, but it's like her best friend so that's the only thing I'm worried about, but she says she isn't going to let her friend change the way she feels about me. I know 4 weeks isn't very long, but we have talked for hours on in, and I do know her. The thing is, I've been in a 6 month relationship, and the feelings I had toward her, never even came close to the feelings I have now. But, I told her I loved her, and I never told anyone else that before. But I will wait a little longer before I jump into somthing huge. Another thing is, she might be pregnant, and she asked me if I would be willing to stay with her and help her with it, if she was pregnant. I told her there was no doubt in my mind I would. And if she was pregnant, I AM sure that I would stay with her, my mom pounded that in my head since as long as I remember, that if I ever got a girl pregnant, unexpectedly, I HAVE to stay with her. Neither of us want an abortion, so was I wrong to tell her that I would be willing to put in all my efforts into this relationship to make it work?

[shes2smart]

Honestly, the odds are against you. But realistically, I think the odds are against any couple (no matter what their ages) ending up in a long-lasting, healthy, happy relationship. If it was easy, more people would have that, and this board wouldn't have the kind of traffic it does.

 

People do a lot of changing & growing up through their late teens and into thier twenties. Who I was at 17 bore little resemblance to who I was at 27. There's no guarantee that you & she will grow in compatible ways...but then, there's no guarantee for that with any couple, no matter their ages.

 

Having said that, it does happen. One of the other RMs, BellaDonna, met her husband when she was 16 and now she's in her mid-twenties and happily married to that same guy.

 

I'm at the other extreme of the scale...met my husband when I was 37 and he proposed a week after our first date. Got married about 6 weeks after my 38th birthday. Everyone I knew was shocked...they figured I was going to be perpetually single...as did I.

 

There is no one right way to get into a healthy, happy, long-lasting relationship. Some people go about it slowly & methodically and some get on the express train without even realizing it.

 

...let it be known that we're just a pair of tumblin dice

and the outcome of this crap shoot is hard to see...

John Mellencamp "What If I Came Knockin"

[annie24]

Good post S2S.

 

A friend of mine got married on a whim in vegas to a guy she wasn't even dating. I had to ask my boss if I could take a day off of work to go to her party. My boss' reaction was, "Wow - that was a quick wedding! Well, the divorce rate is 50%, so they have as much chance as anyone else!"

 

(They wound up getting divorced 3 weeks later)

 

But the point of my silly story, is yes, even though the odds are against you, they are against EVERYONE. Even against normal 29 year olds with stable jobs. You have as much chance of this working out as anyone else does.

 

Good luck to you both!!!

[ratherbesailing]

Steve -

 

I wish I was 17 again, but even at around 40 when I started dating the girlfriend I have now, it was only about 3 or 4 weeks before I woke up one morning and said to myself "holy ship, I know this feeling, I'm in love." I believe it can happen fast and it is more likely to happen when we aren't looking than when we are.

 

Yes, falling in love can lead to hurt and pain but its worth every minute of it. At your age I'd say do everything possible not to get her pregnant till you guys are out of college and have steady jobs and some savings packed away.

 

If she is already pregnant, the odds may be against you but who cares? You guys have a shot to make it work and raise a child in a happy home, just know that it will be so much harder than you can imagine. Finishing school will be hard but do it and go to college and make sure she goes too. It takes years to really get to know someone and how they handle things so realize it is going to take a lot of effort to stay together as you guys grow and change over the years. Agree right now that you know you will have problems in the future but that you will always talk about them and never resent each other for this pregnancy and don't let the what if's get you.

 

I hope she isn't pregnant, but good luck either way.

[ShySoul]

Steven, it is possible to be in love so quickly. I think that when it comes to love, you have to take a chance and follow your heart. Don't let others discourage you or say it can't last, because it can. However, you do need to be aware of all the problems that can and probably will come up. Pregnancy is just one issue, there are all kinds of changes you two will go through and bumps along the road. But if you love each other and both are willing to work through it, then you can make it last.

 

Will you always be together? At this point you can't say for certain. But it certainly isn't impossible. Follow your heart and anything can happen.

[elaineska]

Hey, if you know, you know, and it sounds like you know, so... congrats!