barenmind Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I have some questions I'd like to ask about the behaviour of some women. Not all women do these things, but the ones who do, I'm curious to know what you're thinking... 1. Self-proclaimed b-words. Why do some women not only admit to being them, but are quite proud of it even? 2. Why do some women complain that they can never find a nice guy, but continue to go after the same kind of guys? 3. Why do some women talk incessantly, get mad if interrupted, then complain that their boyfriend never says anything? ...I might add more questions to this thread later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the yang to the worlds yin Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 1. i stand firm on the fact that if a women can't respect herself enough to not call herself such a thing, then she gives no man any reason to respect her either. 2. they want this guy thats gonna be exciting and adventurous, but don't care or think about the repercussions of it. this apply's only to those with no self esteem. 3. oh i do that( however i do not care if i'm interrupted) i think it's just a nervous habbit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barenmind Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 1. i stand firm on the fact that if a women can't respect herself enough to not call herself such a thing, then she gives no man any reason to respect her either. Well said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss M Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 1. i stand firm on the fact that if a women can't respect herself enough to not call herself such a thing, then she gives no man any reason to respect her either. Well said! Not to be argumentative... but this seems to suggest that if she disrespects herself then it's okay if guys also disrespect her. But I would suggest that it's possible to observe a woman disrespect herself without needing to join in that activity with her. And yes, it's entirely possible that a woman can disrespect herself and yet a guy can still continue to show her respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the yang to the worlds yin Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 i understand what your saying, and i didn't mean to imply that gives him right too. but surely she shouldn't EXPECT respect when she herself doesn't show herself any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss M Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 No, I didn't think you meant it that way. I just had an image of a woman disrespecting herself, and guys lining up to also add their efforts to that, to help her hate herself, feeling she deserves their mistreatment just because she's very confused. Pretty sad. Unfortunately I've seen that more than I care to remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barenmind Posted February 21, 2006 Author Share Posted February 21, 2006 I agree with you too Miss M. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 1. some women embrace the b-word for at least 2 reasons: (1) it's a proxy for power. to the extent that the word represents toughness, resilience, or an unwillingness to submit to historically-accepted social practices, they grab it and flaunt it. it's in the same spirit of the 'well behaved women rarely make history' bumper stickers. i don't do it, but i get the spirit of the nose-thumbing. (2) it's an in-group adoption of a demeaning term, much the way some african americans use the N word to describe themselves and each other. the spirit of the argument for why people do this is that if you OWN the word, then YOU have taken the power of it from your oppressors. you can then change it to suit your own needs. 2. attraction is powerful, and familiarity is comfortable 3. some linguists claim that men and woman have, in general, different conversational patterns. these people suggest that women engage in greater turn-taking--rapid give and take with expected and accepted interruptions. they suggest that men take fewer turns, but talk more during a turn. SO...what you might be seeing is that women complain that men don't take as many turns as women (not talking), but when they do, they hog the conversation (interrupting but not sharing). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRB Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 ok not a girl but I'll give you my opinion 1. Girls may call themselves that to a guy or in front of a guy as a test to see how he will react, whether he will bite, go "aww no your not", or step up and say "don't try that crapola with me,I can read through your excuse for your poor behaviour and I will not react to this comment in the way that you would like". Don't let comments like this pass you by, call her on it and don't let her get away with either saying it, the crap behaviour or both. 2. What women say they want and what they react positively to are two different things. They say they want a nice guy but its not what they are attracted to. I think your wrong when you think they go after bad guys, they just want a guy who is a challenge which tends to be not nice guys. You can be a nice guy but just don't be a suck, challenge the girl no matter what, we all want what we can't have and appreciate more the things we have to work for. "Nice guys" do the opposite. 3. Girls need to be heard and understood, listen and let them know that you have heard them by either paraphrasing it (for the skilled cos if you get it wrong you can make it a lot worse) or repeat what she just said to you. You don't have to agree with her but you must at least be able to empathise with her and then have your own opinion and she will care about your opinion and input. Don't complain about women doing this "its a feature not a bug" just accept it. Women think men will change and men think women won't, don't fight it, just adapt. Loved your "insanity quote. The version I have heard though is "if you do what you have always done you are going to get what you have always gotten" Cheers mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flutegirl23 Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 1. Self-proclaimed b-words. Why do some women not only admit to being them, but are quite proud of it even? 2. Why do some women complain that they can never find a nice guy, but continue to go after the same kind of guys? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. 3. Why do some women talk incessantly, get mad if interrupted, then complain that their boyfriend never says anything? 1. I agree with what alot of people have said. Especially about the fact that you almost can own it. I don't like calling myself one, but I have plenty of girlfriends that refer to eachother as the b-word, * * * * * *, hoes, everything. Nowadays it just seems to be so overused in the wrong context and slang that a lot of people don't think twice about hearing it or hearing someone else called it. However, if a guy called me a b-word, then I don't think I would be so okay with it. It's a gender thing. I'm sure there are words that guys don't want a girl to call them but if one of their friends does it's alright. 2. Women are insecure and indecisive. We see one thing that we like so we go after it. It doesn't work out the way we wanted but we like the adventure so we keep doing it. 3. I am big time guilty. I don't have something poignant to say, but women like to hear their own voice. they talk and talk and i know half the time I have no idea what i'm talking about. but when i'm on the phone with my bf and there is like 20 seconds of silence i will be like, say something and sometimes there is just nothing to say. sometimes maybe silence just is not an option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barenmind Posted February 22, 2006 Author Share Posted February 22, 2006 ...sometimes there is just nothing to say. sometimes maybe silence just is not an option. Does silence threaten insecurities? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flutegirl23 Posted February 22, 2006 Share Posted February 22, 2006 sometimes i like silence sometimes i just want to talk or have him talk. i don't think it has anything to do with insecurities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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