Just One Simple Question....

[texasman123]

I have become somewhat addicted to the advice from this forum so I thogh I would give it a try fo rthis. I have been dating this girl for about 4 weeks now. She is 22 and I am a 28 year old professional.

 

We have gotten along fantastically during this time. We both got out of long term relationships about 2 months ago, but have a great time together and the relationship has seemed to be progressing. She is a very independent person, which I like.

 

Anyway we hung out most of last weekend from wednesday on, and were having a great time doing he things we normally do together, and keep in mind we have not really "talked" about our relationship, we have just been taking things as they come. On saturday we had plans that were sperate from each other. She was going out with her firends and I with mine. She text'd me all night during her time out, and even text'd me at about 3 AM to ask if I went home yet. I said no and called her and she ended up inviting me over to her house because I was drunk and she didn't think I should drive. she was passed out when I got there though and I woke her a little. We talked a little and were sweet, but when we woke the next morning she was a little frazzled with things she had to get done for the day, and while still somewhat sweet seemed a little distant, which was a first for me as she had been very sweet to me before. So anyway I haven't heard anything from her since.

 

I know its only been a day and she is probably somewhat busy, but I guess my question is that could I have overstepped a boundry by sort of crashing her place drunk? Can one night of that ruin the feelings in a newish relationship? Just wondering how people feel on this.....

[Jinx]

I know its only been a day and she is probably somewhat busy, but I guess my question is that could I have overstepped a boundry by sort of crashing her place drunk? Can one night of that ruin the feelings in a newish relationship? Just wondering how people feel on this.....

 

It is possible that she wasn't comfortable with such things yet. If she was passed out then woke up, and you were drunk and that whole scenario she may not of been at all pleased with the situation or herself come morning time. It could of very well been that she too was busy as well, but I'll assume it is more so the first, given it is four weeks and neither of you have truly discussed and put the relationship on a firm base.

 

One of the keys is communication. If you can bring it up without her seeming distant or offended by it, then it may be well to do so, it really depends how you'd gauge her reaction to bringing the topic back up to discuss, but open communication is essential if she isn't acting just right so to speak.

[keenan]

It's possible that she feels a little embarrassed. You're a new guy for her, too. She was drinking a lot, she sent you messages all night, and then she passed out. She probably woke up feeling like she didn't make the best impression. Also, she probably felt a little sick and not her prettiest the next morning. Wait a bit for her to recover, then call and act friendly and normal. Maybe laugh about how you feel stupid that you were so drunk that you had to crash at her place, so if she feels awkward too, she can laugh and confess that she was feeling the same. You can bond over it.