Why did she do this, why?

[poisonzonedine]

I been thinking where to post this, in the infidelity or friends thread, but I chose the friends. On Friday, I got suspended from school, cuz I beat up my friend, well I thought she was my best friend, turns out she wasn't, more like a backstabber. All her secrets she told me, I wouldn't snick, but she just did. Basically I just told her about this french kiss along with a making out session and yes I told it was wrong, but heck, I thought she was my friend. I went right on him and told him. Next thing I did the next day as soon as I got to school and look for her, saw her, and beat her up. Yes, I'm still suspended, this my third time, but this time I had a valid reason. Ok so, I know, yes, I know it was wrong, but it was none of her * * * *in business that I kissed another dude. Just wanna know why she had the need to tell, I never told on her. Friends don't tell on each other. As for my relation, I dunno, all I know it prollie never be the same, so why bother, much better breaking up, no point with no trust in it. I'm still so mad, how can anyone do this to you!!!

[keenan]

Am trying to sort this out. Here's the way I understand your situation: So...you have a boyfriend, you made out with another guy, you told your best friend about it, then she told your boyfriend about it, and then you beat her up. And now you want to know why she would rat on you. Right?

 

Ok. Well...she could have told on you for a lot of reasons. At the 'good' end, maybe she considers your boyfriend to be a good guy and a real friend, and she felt uncomfortable about keeping secrets from him. In the 'neutral' area, maybe she is just weak and wanted to stir up some excitement to make herself seem more interesting. At the 'bad' end, maybe she likes your boyfriend and wants you guys to break up. Maybe she's angry with you for some other reason and wants to get back at you. Maybe lots of things, actually.

 

Overall, it sounds like you two aren't super loyal to one other, so maybe you shouldn't confide your secrets to her.

 

Also, I'd try to keep it from getting physical, if you can. You're the one who is suspended (for the 3rd time), and you're the one who looks out of control. Since you've tried the violence approach and it doesn't seem to be working out for ya, try something else: Be classy, be cool. Be more dignified than her. That's a better way of making her look petty. And you won't get blood on your shirt.

[PrincessLinzay]

I can definitely understand your being angry that your best friend betrayed your confidence, however, I don't think "beating her up" was the most mature way of handling the situation.

 

In life, there are bound to be more times in which someone will betray you, or make you angry. There are better avenues for venting your anger then to resort to physical violence.

 

That being said......

 

In regards to your relationship..... If I'm understanding correctly, you kissed another guy whilst being involved with someone else? If this be the case, I would take a serious look at the relationship you're in and decide whether it's where you want to be in the first place. If you had the desire to kiss someone else, maybe you are not satisfied with your current situation? If you aren't happy where you are, it's not fair to your boyfriend to continue on with the relationship while seeking your pleasures elsewhere.

 

Unfortunately, I would have to say that your current boyfriend would certainly be justified if he decides to end the relationship. If he's willing to work it out, and that is also what you want, I would definitely reccomend improving your communication. You would have to work especially hard to help him gain back trust in you after the cheating.

 

As for your friend ..... again I can understand your anger, but perhaps next time you are hurt by a friend, try confronting them with your feelings first. Everyone makes mistakes, and at least speaking to them first allows them an opportunity to explain their actions. Once you have an explanation, you can decide whether or not the friendship is worth salvaging.....just a thought.