Finally "Getting It"

[Lady Bugg]

Hey everyone...

 

Today I feel very positive. I feel positive that I am finally "getting" what it means to "move on". I realize moving on does NOT involve thoughts of getting

the person who broke my heart back. It has taken me months and months to FINALLY "get it". The fact that I have a stubborn streak a mile long does not help at all, but I guess we all have to learn in our OWN way and our own timetable. What was the "turning point" for me? Well....you'd think it was me learning my lesson by doing all those STUPID things ...contacting the ex with ANY excuse I thought might seem "innocent"....etc. I would feel down for a day or two...then I would think of yet ANOTHER excuse to do it. Did it change anything?? You guessed it...NO, it did not..it on;y made me feel more pathetic and rejected.

 

Recently I read a book...that for SOME reason, made me "get it". Don't ask me why, but after reading this book..I KNOW I have GOT to finally put this behind me for good and MOVE ON. No more calls, texts, emails....NOTHING.

Even after ALL the advice and stories I have read....it idn't click until NOW.

Maybe I feel like there IS hope..and that this DID happen for a reason. Just because this guy didn't want me does NOT mean it's about ME...it simply means it was NOT meant to happen.

 

I am now resigned to do the necessary work to completely put this behind me.

 

The book I read is called "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken". It's excellent for anyone going through a breakup. It helped me see things from a more positive perspective...but truthfully it says many of the same things I have seen here. Anyway I just wanted to throw that out there.

 

I wish everyone the best of luck

[ocrob]

That is so great! I am so happy for you and wish you the best of luck.

[merickso]

that sounds great, and of course people like me, with fresh brokenhearts and lists a mile long for reasons to keep the hope alive that there is still a chance with the ex, love seeing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Does the book focus on whether things are meant to happen or not? You seemed to have suggested that near the end of your post.

[Hunny1607307342]

Thats exactly the book I picked up yesterday! I was reading it and I thought it was great, and was also going to recommend to people here going through a break up.

[brando]

Glad to hear you are "getting it." It takes time, but for it to click in side of you is a good sign. Thanks ofr the book reccomendation, im sure it will help many on these boards.

 

be well,

brando

[octopus]

I'm glad you feel that way, and I hope it will last. When I read that book, I felt very strong too; I felt in power. But it comes and goes in cycles. 3 weeks after I read the book, I was in tears again. I hope yours will last.

It's a good book; but no it doesn't touch on whether things were meant to be or not, and it strictly tells you it's over, and it's for good.

That's what we should all believe anyway, in order to move on.

[keenan]

Good for you, Lady Bugg. It's always nice to hear that these feelings won't last forever. Thanks.

[Lady Bugg]

The book is NOT motivated to bring people back together. The whole basis of the book is to encourage those who have been dumped to realize that just because THIS person does not want a relationship or future with you...does NOT mean it was ever about YOU. It simply means it wasn't meant to be. I think it is important that they did NOT encourage you to pine for your ex or try to get them back...because ultimately THAT is not YOUR decision. It is your ex'es..The book also has break up "commandments" to follow...one of those being No Contact after a breakup for no less than 60 days immediately following. It's basically a very positive and encouraging book for anyone that is struggling to get past those rejected feelings. It gave me hope...so that's where I am right now.