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Flirting.. grudges.. jealousy... blabla.. help me please:(


desirablenikki07

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im not jealous.. i just thought that since hes hugging all these other girls.. that he doesnt like me anymore !!! lol i hang with my ex were good friends.. even when we went out we didnt "do anything" ..:S so it wasnt really going out.. so its like weve been friends all along.. i dont HUG him and jump on him and stuff.. like he does with his female friends.

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I can speak for the flirting issue, here, first. I've done it in the past and recognized what I was doing after much self-reflection. I was ashamed of myself for doing it when I realized what I was doing. Your [future?] BF's having his cake and eating it too. You continue to be there for him, his solid, dependable girlfriend. He still gets to play with the other girls, get attention and you don't leave him, so he'll continue to do it. It's fun and challenging to him to flirt and yet his other emotional needs are continued to be met by you. He's not trying to hurt you when he flirts if you guys are getting along, but rather enjoy the dependable you and still play.

 

I believe that the jealousy issue is separate from the flirting issue. He really doesn't want you to talk to the other guy and is acting like a child having a temper tantrum to influence you and make you question yourself.

 

It probably wouldn't hurt to explain how these two issue make you feel. Rate your hurt on a scale between 0 and 10 so he gets it. Some guys (like me) just don't get it sometimes.

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Well, honey, you've been posting about your confusions with this guy for a while now. You say he likes you, but he ignores you and flirts with other girls. In my experience, when a guy really likes you, he asks you out and doesn't ignore you. That's why I think you should go talk to him, ask him out, spend some time with him. Stop playing this guessing game.

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It's an old trick - and is just as dumb now as ever, he's probably flirting to make you think he's popular and worth going out with.

 

dishrag - he's not her boyfriend, she just wants him to be. They haven't gone out yet - probably won't unless she asks him!!

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I can relate..the guy i like also tends to ignore me when i'm around but maked it a point to flirt with other girls in front of me..its an immateure way of a guy trying to get your attention and makes him feel like he's such a great catch when in fact he feels othewise...can you say something to him?

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well he teases me and stuff.. but he teases other girls as well.. like today he like patted my head lmao.. and he was like HIIII and he was waving.. but i was walking away..and he kept following lmao cause people were in my way bumping into me.. highschool hallways are like mosh pits so i was walking.. then my bff came.. and then he patted her head too ? lmao and he like put his arm around her.. and was talking REALLY loud and being like WHATS UP!? IM GOOD ?! and my friend told me that he was trynna get me to notice him but what the hell man.. thats so stupid lmao ! i dont really get it .. naomi when u said that it makes him feel like hes such a great catch.. when in fact he feels otherwise? what does that mean ?

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I mean maybe he doesn't feel that he actually is a good catch and that i might not want him (b/c honey, I AM a great catch) and maybe he wants to show me that by interacting with other girls that yes, he is a ladies man, oh so charming and so many girls are hot for him, his goal might be that i should think that too....makes sense?

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yeah, at this point i'd probably just ask, because it's taking so much out of you. but i see naomi's point--i remember when i was in high school (a looog time ago!) i'd flirt with just about everybody in the area *except* for this one guy i was actually really into. i was super shy around him, and somehow i thought that by being really upbeat and goofy and flirty with his friends, he'd see that i was cool and fun to be around and want to be with me more.... uh, no. it just really ticked him off. thank goodness he told me so, and i cut it out. so maybe your guy is really not into you, or maybe he is but finds it safer to flirt with your best friend because he's got nothing to lose with her. ugh.

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