sex, before or after marriage?

[weirdya]

hi everyone,

am havin this problem with my boyfriend,,well he's so sweet and nice with me we've been together for more than seven months now ..we talk on phone all the time, we see each other and so on..everythin seems perfect except for one thing,,might be the most important thing but still am confused about it..the thing is my boyfriend wants to make love with me, but i've got my own principles and my idea of sex is to have itn only after marriage! he says if i don't have sex with him he will simply go to get to know other girls..am not sure what that means but it hurts alot to hear such thing from the one i love..should i just do it and have sex? am confused..help please

[kellbell]

Hi there!

 

I am so proud that you have your limits and standards. That's wonderful. This guy you are dating is a jerk. If your partner pressures you into doing something you are not comfortable with, it's time to rethink your situation and consider letting him go. Let him go date other girls. He is not the one for you if he does not believe what is important to you when it comes to sex or if a man pressures you like he has been.

 

I am sorry to point out that he may have been using you just for sex. So I would dump him before he cheats on you. I am so sorry that you have been going through this. You deserve much better. Take care and wishing you all the best.

[CarnelianButterfly]

my boyfriend wants to make love with me

If he wanted to make love to you then he wouldn't be threatening to cheat if you don't. He wants sex and if he has to bully you into doing it, he's not worth it.

i've got my own principles and my idea of sex is to have itn only after marriage!

DONT COMPROMISE YOUR PRINCIPLES!!! Your intergrity should not suffer because of his libido. Your beliefs should be important to him. If he truly loves you then he would not be asking you to do such. Sex is only one aspect of a relationship and if it is the deal-breaker in his mind then he's go to go. It sounds like he's being a real jerk.

[ace]

Hi,

I'm sorry, but I would have to agree with kellbell. What boyfriend would tell you, I'm going to start seeing other girls, if you don't have sex. If he really loves you, I think he could wait until marriage.

 

I know how much It will hurt you, to leave someone that you love, but It's going to hurt even more later if you stay with some thats trying to get you to do something you don't want to do.

 

I hope this helps, good luck!

[SuperDuper]

I didn't even read the replies you got but i'm sure they're stating that this guy is all for sex. It's clear to see from an outsider's view that he has his targets set on something, sex.

 

I think you need to have a chat with him about what your views and beliefs are regarding this VERY important subject. If he doesn't support them, dump his _ _ _, he's no good to you.

 

Maybe he'll come around, but if he is anything like the "stereotypical" sex fene, I wouldn't expect any miracles. Live YOUR life, and don't let anybody else be your conducter, it's your body, not theirs.

 

Hope everything goes well.

[RayKay]

Honey, do NOT sacrifice your own values and principles if you feel strongly about them. All that will happen is YOU will feel badly about yourself for doing so, and I have a feeling this guy is not in it for love. Someone whom loves you would not even ask you to give up those values and principles.

 

I am sure he does WANT to sleep with you, but if he truly loves you for you, and appreciates you, he would be willing to wait. The very fact he is threatening to CHEAT on you if you don't give in shows me he cares little for your feelings and beliefs and someone whom would threaten to cheat on you is not someone you should even consider compromising your values for! Can you imagine how hurt and upset you would be if you slept with him then he took off with someone else or cheated?

 

If he really wanted to make love with you, there would be no threats. He would be patient and respect your boundaries, and if that meant waiting then so be it. He's in it for sex, and he sounds incredibly shallow if he is willing to throw you away to get it.

 

Walk away from this man before he either cheats on your or uses you. Which he has basically already said himself he is going to do.

 

You deserve better.