shorty20 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 so i posted last night about what happened with my guy. To put it short, he came over to tell me he wanted to just be friends, after sending me the sweetest email 3 DAYS AGO telling me how much he cared about me and was excited to see where our relationship would go. And I'm just sitting here scratching me head... huh? He said there wasn't anyone else, until I forced it out of him, that there was someone that liked him, but that he hadn't acted on anything. That he didn't even know her? Then why would he be putting our relationship on hold for it? I told him that if we took a step back in our relationship that I couldn't guarantee I would want to take a step forward when the time came, and he said he realized that and it was a chance he was willing to take? Yea that made me feel like crap. So now, I'm sitting here at work trying not to think about it so I don't look like some weird freak that can't stop crying. I just don't know what to do. He always comes back... and my roommate just thinks I should take him back... she says he's too great of a guy to just let go and that he'll come to his senses sooner or later and realize that he won't be able to find someone that cares as much as I do. I know what his problem is though... he keeps comparing everyone he dates to his first love. He told me if he can't have the love he had with her, then he didn't want it at all... but he compares the feelings he has for me after 2 months to the feelings that he had for her after 3 years! Does that sound realistic? Not to me... so now I'm lost. He wants to be friends... I kicked him out of my apartment, and he tried to talk to me online. I just told him I needed some time, and that he needed to re-read the email he had sent me 3 days earlier before he even thought about calling me. I'm just so lost and confused.. I have no idea what's going through his head. He tells me how special I am and how beautiful I am... but puts me on hold for some chick he "dosen't even know".... dosen't make sense to me at all. I guess this was all just me venting... but if anyone has any input I'd be glad to hear it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Forget him. He is a yo-yo. He is a little boy that doesn't know what he wants. If he came back, what gaurantee do you have that in another 3 days, he wouldn't change his mind again? Go find a man who knows what he wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayKay Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I just don't know what to do. He always comes back... and my roommate just thinks I should take him back... she says he's too great of a guy to just let go and that he'll come to his senses sooner or later and realize that he won't be able to find someone that cares as much as I do. If your roommate things that somehow happiness comes from being bounced around like a plaything, then by all means, "wait" but honestly, I would not. People don't fall for us because we "care more", that is just not how love works. If that was the case, why would so many relationships break up - cerI don't think it is because someone did not "care enough". Otherwise it would not hurt so bad in first place! Maybe he will come back, but then he'll be gone again. I don't know why he told you those things..maybe he meant them but then they caused him to think if he really felt them. Maybe it felt right at the time. Maybe he does compare his feelings to his feelings with his ex, which is not "necessarily" bad, if that is what he is looking for...but he also should not be bouncing you around in the process. I say, move on. There are men out there whom know what they want, be capable of a healthy, stable, loving relationship and not be so wishy washy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 he said he realized that and it was a chance he was willing to take? Yea that made me feel like crap. Do you really want to be with someone who would say that to you? He always comes back... He's done this before? And you continue to allow him to treat you like this? You are not some backup plan, you should be first and foremost, not just whats left over. GET RID OF HIM! he compares the feelings he has for me after 2 months to the feelings that he had for her after 3 years! Does that sound realistic? Not to me... Then tell him to go back to her! puts me on hold for some chick he "dosen't even know".... Don't stay on hold, HANG UP! He's a selfcentered jerk whose using you between his other relationships. You don't need to be treated like that, you don't need him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorty20 Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 yes, sad to say he's done it before, but not to this extent. Before, the first time, it was about 2 weeks after he'd broken up with his gf of 3 years... he was constantly talkinga bout her, so I let him down gently. I wasn't mean, but i just said that he needed to try to get his ex back because he was still in love with her. He said ok, but she turned him down. I didn't take him back when he tried to come back to me after that. We actually stopped talking for a while, and then he called, we hung out, attraction was still there and we started spending more and more time together... then he got a girlfriend? Then he dumped her and tried to come back to me, I refused him. I got a boyfriend, and but he was relentless, trying to get me back. He'd call, text, and persued me for about a month with nothing positive coming from my end. I broke up with my boyfriend, and he was still persuing me. After about a month of him still not giving up, I thought "well, maybe this time he has changed"... and it took soo much out of me to put the past aside and give him a fair shot. The other times don't matter to me as much, because we wern't as serious, we were more like friends with benefits. This time though, we were having sex and we were exclusive, and there were alot more emotions involved so it hurts alot more. My roommate says there has to be a reason he keeps coming back to me. She says I'm looking at it the wrong way by saying that he's using me as a back up. She said "look at all the other girls he dated... do u see him going back to them? no... you're the only one he can't just let go..." so I don't know what to think... how to feel... part of me thinks I'm being too forgiving and making excuses... but theres always that part of me that wants to believe.. that wants to think that he's just a little confused and needs a few days... letting guys go is so so hard for me. Especially someone like him who has all the qualities I want in a guy. His indecisivness is the only thing that keeps me from falling madly in love with him. I knwo I can't change him, but I can't change the way I feel either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayKay Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 She said "look at all the other girls he dated... do u see him going back to them? no... you're the only one he can't just let go..." so I don't know what to think... how to feel... part of me thinks I'm being too forgiving and making excuses... but theres always that part of me that wants to believe.. that wants to think that he's just a little confused and needs a few days... letting guys go is so so hard for me. Especially someone like him who has all the qualities I want in a guy. His indecisivness is the only thing that keeps me from falling madly in love with him. I knwo I can't change him, but I can't change the way I feel either Or maybe you are the only one whom will take him back and settle for this bouncing around? Just a thought. The problem is, if you were that special and worth it, he would not let you go over and over. Whom cares if he comes back, why is he leaving in the first place? Indecisiveness is a REALLY big thing to "ignore". There are others out there whom can have tons of great qualities, and still know they want to be with you. Why settle for less? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I agree with RayKay, he's just coming back cuz you let him. He knows if he just picks at you enough he's got sex on tap. Tell him to bugger off, he's worthless. If he keeps bothering you after you told him off, call the cops, get a restraining order. This guy is no good for you, he's just going to continue to treat you like your 2nd class. It's all about him and he really doesn't care for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorty20 Posted February 3, 2006 Author Share Posted February 3, 2006 well thanks for all the input guys... it sucks that no matter what he does, I can't hate him.. no matter how bad he treats me, a part of me still wants him. Hopefully I can stay strong and not give in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Ok, well, if you want to be his backup plan while he goes around, back and forth, betweeen his exes, and girls he barely knows, while you are sitting there, all loyal and loving, go right ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now