Dako Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 A post in another thread got me thinking. My ex at one time got angry with me for taking a good fulltime job. She had grown accustomed to me taking care of the house, shopping, etc, things that interfered with her career. I had been part-time plus free-lancing at home when she was working. A year ago she started pushing me to bring home more bacon and 6 months later she gave me the boot. I assume she was trying to do me a favor since she'd planned to dump me for 2 years. I'm starting to doubt marriage is a good idea at all. When it's over, the light of day brings out certain imperfections. Yes, I'm having a bad hair day. All the crap in my life is zeroing in on me, and I'm so tired of trying, of being good, of being responsible that I'm going to get drunk tonight. What will it do for me? Nothing at all, but I'm so friggin lonely and sad I don't much care about crawling to work with a hangover. I'm sick of crying in my car to hide my tears, telling people I'm fine when I feel so empty inside and looking at getting even older without being needed. Getting old sucks. In a word, it's time to get faced for the first time since I got dumped. The water of life will help me pass the evening. Bon soir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Don't do it Dako - post on here where you are indeed needed and appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arwen Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Dako, don't do that. I am having a bad hair day as well (I lost my first serious job after one whole month), and you oughta know, it was YOUR signature that kept me with both feet on the ground today. IT HAS TO GET BETTER. Meaning that it will because it has to. You are one of the best writers I have met on the forum, always to the point and yes, with age comes a lot of wisdom that is very much needed here on the forum. Please post a lot, get it off your chest. All is not lost. Ilse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Please don't. It's not going to make you feel better. I'm sorry you're in pain, but don't waste yourself on drinking. Please don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Relationship Coach Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Dako, Come back here! Don't call any numbers off billboards! Dako email me if you want or I'll PM you my number. We all have down days and deal with them in our own way but you are needed and you have to decide that you don't want to be lonely and trust someone. Dako, people come here to get their DDD(Daily Dose of Dako). In your own unique way you reach those that find solace in your humor and wisdom. Your Friend, David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicesmile Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 (((((((((((((((((((((it Will Get Better)))))))))))))))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
novaseeker Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 It's okay to have a bad day. We all have up days and down days. If you really did go and get wasted yerterday and are hungover today, well that's in the past now ... just don't make it a habit. You probably realize now, if you did that, that it's really just self-defeating. Yes, we go through times when we feel that the whole thing just sucks. It's a part of the panoply of feelings you have coming through a divorce ... I know I had times like that during my own divorce. And it's okay to let yourself feel that way from time to time because the feelings are legitimate ... but there's good days as well, and we can't forget those. Things will get better, you'll feel better soon enough ... hang in there and reach for the good thoughts to help you get through the bad ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
healinginnyc81 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Dako, I hate to see you feeling so bad. But you've been so supportive of all us here. We got your back. Keep posting man, you have one of the toughest situations I've seen and yet you are doing better than most everyone. I hope if you got wasted, that it helped you let out some emotions. Hope you feel better soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Dako, when you get back online, please let us know how you are doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted February 2, 2006 Author Share Posted February 2, 2006 I apologize for going off the deep end. It's not like me lose it and become a drama queen, and I don't really know what came over me. I'm not real proud of myself. It was a profound feeling of rage and self-loathing. Not a good thing. I ditched work to lay on the floor and stare at the wall wondering what my life adds up to. My dear roomates kept me from guzzling too much or doing anything drastic. The jug still has some left. I took a bag of memorabilia and threw it away at the beach. I hope someone digs out the watches and $400 Dupont pen I tossed. It's just stuff, and it felt good to chuck it in the can. I broke my mood with a credit card, just like a good midlife consumer. This morning I went out and splurged on a new laptop so I can do at the coffee shop and feel productive. Spending a thousand got me over the hump, but this sort of therapy could be pricey. I deleted my online personals ad, and wouldn't wish me on anyone these days. Besides, I doubt the value of relationships, which makes me wonder what I'm doing on a relationship forum. Had a chat with my ex re business and she just returned from a Yellowstone vacation. Yesterday I hated her, today I don't. Holding a grudge isn't my strong suit. Well, that's where I'm at. Once again, I'm sorry for acting like a giant brat. I promise to behave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
novaseeker Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 Just give yourself permission to have a pissy day every now and then ... it's a part of this ... and remember to try to pick yourself up the next day or so and realise it was a bad day, and try to get back to a normal kilter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkblue Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 I must have missed this thread. Dako, we all have days like that. Expect more - but don't plan for them. Hell, it's a relief to have a day of self-loathing. At least then, you know you aren't due one for a little while. It's a sort of relief. Alcohol, as you probably well know, is a depressant. It blows things out of proportion, especially when in a low. Take care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted February 2, 2006 Author Share Posted February 2, 2006 I must have missed this thread. I wish I had. Thanks, friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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