Pretend to be something you're not to fit in?

[Daniel05]

I've made a good friend in work over quite a few months and we get on well and have a laugh. Recently though we've joined some other guys during break times and that's all the conversation is is football. Everyone else likes it and I feel so left out not being interested in it. I end up just sitting glancing around at everyone talking and having a laugh about it and I'm just there for 20 minutes saying nothing. I hate it and I'd like to not go but then they'd probably think I was being standoff-ish if I stayed at my desk. I'd really like to be able to join in with them but at the end of the day I'm not really interested in it and it would all be pretend. But my particular interests have got me nowhere really so do I watch football and learn loads of stuff about it to be closer to the guys but it's all pretend or not pretend to like something I don't but end up being left out. What do you think?

[CarnelianButterfly]

I've never felt comfortable pretending, so I just stopped. I am who I am, like it or not. Try talking about other things, I'm not a sports person (frankly I hate them), but I like cars so I talk about that with 'red blooded men'. If they don't want to talk about anything else, are they worth your time? Does your job really depend on whether or not they like you? Be yourself, any problem they have with it is THEIR problem.

[KIDD]

Hey Daniel05, don't force yourself to like something just so you can join other people. It's best to find people & talk with people who have your interests, that way you don't have to be or like something you're not into. You said this is work right?? So I think it might be best to focus on your job & not worry so much about fitting in. I'm pretty sure the topics will change sometime. I know people have to get tired of talking about the same subject everyday..

[FoxLocke]

I went through this as well(to some degree I still go through it). I used to want to fit in with everyone else so badly that I would do things and pretend to like certain things just so I would be accepted into certain groups.

When I was in highschool I pretended to be into hardcore, explicit, hip hop music just to hang around people who-to me at that time-were "cool."

However, I realized that, inwardly, parts of me died because I couldn't be truthful about ME.

Don't worry everyone goes through and eventually you come out of it. It took me a while and now I am comfortable telling people about my likes and dislikes. The world is full of diverse people and if it weren't it would be boring as hell.

[shyanne]

you should be yourself...don't pretend. you don't have to like something to talk about it and join in. maybe try starting a new topic. after all, it must get boring talking about the same thing every day.