enolaton Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 If you guys don't know my story, brief recap: G/f of 3 years broke up with me last September. Started dating someone 3 weeks after breaking-up with me. Tried the friends thing, which she REALLY wanted, wasn't working out for me. Hysterically cried twice when I told her I had to move on, and could not be her friend. She said she understood, although she didn't agree, and told me to call her if I ever changed my mind about being friends. Since then, she has taken the one picture she had up of me off her facebook account, and has recently put up on her facebook account that she is in a relationship with someone else. Why is she doing this? Is she trying to make me mad or jealous? We ended our last phone conversation on a good note, saying our goodbyes. Granted I shouldn't be looking at her account, but why is she rubbing it in my face? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayKay Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I think she is just moving on. Which she was bound to do at some point. Since you are not in communication, she may not even have any idea you are looking, but regardless, she is moving on. Her new boyfriend also may not have been fond of her having her ex's picture up. There could be many reasons, but likely none of them are what you are assuming them to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enolaton Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 We've only been NC for less than a week. After 4 months of LC, why all of a sudden is she doing all this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sucker4ya Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Ugh yea...facebook is the devil! My ex talked to me one sunday...called me and we talked for like an hour, had a great conversation...then at the end of the convo he says, well I guess I should tell you i'm seeing her (K...his new gf)...he said it was casual, nothing serious...and then the next day they both update facebook...IN A RELATIONSHIP! I was so mad!! And I can't stop myself from looking at all of their cutesy pictures together...not so healthy, but whatever. He even took John Mayer off his list of favorite artists...He was the soundtrack to our relationship basically. It hurt...it still hurts. But I still check his profile EVERYDAY. I did unfriend him though I don't know if they do it to hurt us, or if they are just trying to move forward and don't feel like they should have to tip toe around in their new relationship just because of us. But still...grrr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AC874 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 How the heck do ppl move on so quickly. Sounds like our ex's have issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayKay Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 We've only been NC for less than a week. After 4 months of LC, why all of a sudden is she doing all this? Not sure, but if you told her you did not want to be friends, she may have decided that part of not being friends was removing your picture. And still, after four months, she will have moved on in some degree. She just may not be in the same place you are anymore. She could be doing it to "hurt" you, but it's also just as likely she is just taking steps then to move on. Either way it really does not matter anymore...you made a choice to move on which is very good...so keep going forward. That means stop looking at her facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enolaton Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 Truth be told, I STILL want her back very badly. I know I needed NC to move on and heal, but in terms of getting her back, I don't know if that was the best way to go. Also, just yesterday on my facebook, I had added a friend that I had deleted from facebook at the beginning of the break-up, because I thought it would please my ex. Now, all of a sudden, the next day, she puts that she is in a relationship, but it's not linked to anyone (stupid games, I know). But, coincidence??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heloladies21 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 After all this time she is not doing anything that has anything to do with you. Her motives are for her personal reasons and not associated with you. In any case, once a girl is in a new relationship it's game over and no chance to get back together. If you stay in contact, you will just be stringing yourself along. Talk to some other girls. Plenty of them out there and honestly, they're not all that different from each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jl301 Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I think you should move on and start the "NC". You need time to heal from this and hearing her voice from time to time will not help. Like heloladies 21 said; "You will just be stringing yourself along" I know is difficult to move on because I'm in smiliar situation like you. Just hang in there and be strong for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bethany Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 enotalon, In my opinion..she may very well have got a bf but what you did by adding that pic again was hurt and make her jealous. She then retaliated by the 'relationship' thing. What you should have done was NOTHING. She's obviously still checking your spacebook and now you've started it all up again. Don't show her that you have even looked at her facebook, as far she is concerned, you have been moving on, like you said you were. It will stop the 'war' of hurt that could build up through both of you hurting each other online. Take some time out for yourself to heal properly before you face her facebook again and don't alter yours for quite a while. She will wonder where you are and what your up to, which can only be a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Setter5 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 To helloladies21: Reference my post. Ladies do go back to relationships, and they can do it rather quickly. Unfortunately for me, I was mislead in the process and hurt very badly. But the dumb girl went back to the her "guy." It can happen. Oh yeah, I think Relationship Coach would agree, a clean break is always best: so enolaton-you did the right thing even though it is very gut-wrenching. Hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newts Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I am sorry to say this, I think she has moved on. How and why people move on so quickly is beyond me, however, it happens all the time. Maybe this a sign that you have to try as hard as you can to move on too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NR498E Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Talk to some other girls. Plenty of them out there and honestly, they're not all that different from each other LOL...That was great dude.So,So true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enolaton Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Thanks for all your input guys. I did what I had to do in terms of NC. It just sucks - afterall, not only was I the one dumped, but she had someone whom she is now serious with, 3 weeks after breaking up with me. I don't know if she was already over me when they started dating (which is most likely), or she just moved on to someone else in order to not think about the break up. Either way, there isn't much I can do. It wasn't a "bad" break-up, and she genuinly fought to stay friends with me, but it's just not an option for me right now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valenski Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Dude you are going in the wrong direction, dont worry about what she's doing. You told her were'nt ok with friends so move on. As for the purpose of her actions on the facebook, one can only assume, stop keeping tabs on your ex, if she has moved on you should too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regretfulman Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Whoever said once a girl is in a new relationship, she will never go back to the old one is DEAD WRONG. Women are very emotional, thereforeeee they act on impulse often. I have seen women come back to old relationships many many times, it happened to me, it happened to my friends, it happens all the time. People date others and go back to old flames every single day, but it is not a reason to hold onto hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enolaton Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 I agree Regretfulman, and let's be honest, I hard as I am trying to move on, I still miss her terribly. During my begging and pleading stage, she had said on occasion that we weren't compatible (i.e. different races and religions), yet we stayed together for 3 years knowing this. Think she is just making excuses to convince herself that she made the right decision in breaking up with me?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikki blu Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 During my begging and pleading stage, she had said on occasion that we weren't compatible (i.e. different races and religions), yet we stayed together for 3 years knowing this. Think she is just making excuses to convince herself that she made the right decision in breaking up with me?? Do not torture yourself by looking at the facebook! Resist the urge! I finally came to this conclusion recently when I tried to remain "friends" with my ex, who called complaining about his new girlfriend. He kicked her out, she's crazy.. blah, blah, blah...I played dummy and checked his blog...he added her picture. Think I ever had my picture up there while we dated? Humph! He always denied that our difference in race was never a factor, but if it comes up during the "compatibility" discussion...believe it is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathalie1970 Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Speaking from a female point of view, it is true that alot of women move on to get over someone. We are emotional, but men do the same thing too. I am in the same situation as you. I tried and tried to convince my ex bf that we should try and work things out but to no avail. He says that he loves me and wants me but he doesn't think we should be together right now. He also uses the fact that we have too many problems and shouldn't be together but he is willing to do lots of other things with me. I believe he probably has someone else and is just stringing me along. I told him we can't be friends or in contact but we each end up breaking it. I've noticed the longer we sustain contact the harder it is when you finally follow through. All my girlfriends advice to me is to move on to someone else, so maybe that's what your ex gf is doing. Stop looking at the facebook site, it will make it harder to do NC. I am sorry that she moved on so quickly, but use your anger to do NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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