InsertNameHere Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Ugh, a few times my gf of 6 months has been out to the movies with a bunch of guys in her band. So its usually her and 3 guys. And she pretty much only hangs out with guys. A lot of times I will call her to see what shes up too, sometimes on a Saturday night or something, and she will say "Oh, I'm at house, we are just chilling. I can't do anything tonight." This makes me extremely jealous. Do you guys have girlsl ike this at all? Am I just being overly jealous?? I wouldnt feel bad if she tried to include me once in a while, but I don't feel like she ever does... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Have you mentioned this to her? If you have and nothing has changed maybe it's time to find a new girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I think you need to accept the fact she has male friends. There are a few women that have male friends (like all of them) that they don't sleep with. Most of my friends are male, they are the people I spend my free time with. If I had a BF right now he would welcome to come with me. Maybe you should ask your GF if you could hang out together. You may find you like them and they become your friends, too. Don't get jealous of what she does with her time away from you, she has a life of her own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsertNameHere Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 Ya. I have told her that it kind of bothers me, mainly because she doesn't invite me along. But she assures me they are just friends. But the fact that she is with other guys at a movie or a different event just bothers me I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsertNameHere Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 I think you need to accept the fact she has male friends. There are a few women that have male friends (like all of them) that they don't sleep with. Most of my friends are male, they are the people I spend my free time with. If I had a BF right now he would welcome to come with me. Maybe you should ask your GF if you could hang out together. You may find you like them and they become your friends, too. Don't get jealous of what she does with her time away from you, she has a life of her own. Yes, I realize she has a life of her own. But sometimes I feel like it would be nice for her to include me when she goes out with her friends.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 It should be fine for someone to have friends of the opposite sex. But how much time does she spend with you versus these friends? Is it a lot or is it reasonably balanced? Would you be as jealous if they were just female friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost_status Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Yes I agree with carnelianbutterfly, you should accpt she has male friends BUT you should talk to your girlfriend though, you should let her how you feel. Do you include her when you go out with your friends? Maybe its just a mirror thing...you know, like if you let her hang out with you and your friends she'l do the same, if not, then she wont. But seriously shouldnt get jealous, when someone gets jealous, it afftects their behaviour and it can cause more problems, just think shes with you, not with other guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsertNameHere Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 It should be fine for someone to have friends of the opposite sex. But how much time does she spend with you versus these friends? Is it a lot or is it reasonably balanced? Would you be as jealous if they were just female friends. I don't care as much when she goes out with her female friends. But she is really close with a couple of her male friends, so it kind of bothers me. Sometimes I feel like she spends more time with them, like a lot of times I call her and she will be with them and not be able to do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
second_opinion Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 theres nothing wrong with what shes doing. She isnt married to you or anything. Has she known her guy friends longer than shes known you? When your with your friends, do you let her come with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsertNameHere Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 theres nothing wrong with what shes doing. She isnt married to you or anything. Has she known her guy friends longer than shes known you? When your with your friends, do you let her come with you? Ya I always try to include her with my friends, which is why I don't get it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I think this is something that you either tolerate because you trust her, or break up with her because either you don't trust her or that you find she is not spending enough time with you to make your relationship work. It's not necessarily a question of right or wrong (unless she is cheating) - it's a question of whether you can accept what she is doing or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsertNameHere Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 Yeah. I think you are right... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FamousAmos Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 dude youre not jealous trust me, youre just looking after her, believe me, im only 14, and i even get jealous when, the girl i like, hugs other boys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicguy Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Girls have male friends like males have girl friends, you can't take friends away from anyone. Just talk to her about how you feel regarding the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cecelius Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I agree with DN that this is not exactly a right v. wrong issue, rather what is in your picture. Is it in your picture for your g/f to prefer to hang out with other dudes and specifically exclude you? Also, there are tons of threads on this debate, so you may want to read them, but in my opinion and experience, there is no such thing as a situation where a particular girl is only just friends with other dudes. Before too long, something will happen and it is just a matter of time. No one can positively say that they can put all persons of the opposite sex into the "friend" category in all instances. Lastly, among some of us, girls with mostly male friends are a red flag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
italianstalian Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Dump Her!!!!!1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boonpop Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Here's the reality of it. One you are not married to her, and even if you were, you'd have to understand that her life is her own life and it's not right for you to control who she speaks to, hangs out with, or decides to invest time in. Two, if she is with you, she is there because she wants to be there. You can run around all day wondering what she is doing, and who she is doing it with, but truth is, if she wanted to do anything with these guys she hangs out with, you being jealous isn't going to stop her and chances are she'd have done it by now. My advice to you is make sure she knows how you feel about her so that her time spent with these other guys won't end up being time spent searching for attention. As long as she has the reassurance that you can offer her something these other guys can't, there is no need for her to look elsewhere, and no need for you to worry. If she continues to hang out with these guys, and never offers for you to come along and join them, find some friends of your own to hang out with and do the guy thing. Check out a few clubs and have a merry good time without her. If you happen to meet a few female friends along the way, so be it, hang out with them too and celebrate. Why? It's not that I'm trying to have you be vengeful and immature, but the fact is that a thief won't trust a thief. If you started to hang out with the fellows, or other girls for that matter, and your girlfriend starts to question your actions, chances are she may be doing something unethical on her spare time, and your ventures into the same territory may make her feel uncomfortable. It's simply a way of reading her reactions to find the answers you're looking for, that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectre22 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I dont think her hanging out with other guys is wrong, but something that caught my eye is you said if you call her up on a saturday and she's hanging out with some guys, she will tell you she cant do anything that night? to me, thats a red flag. Its one thing for her to hang out with guys, but for her to act like its impossible to make time for you cuz shes with them? or choosing to hang with them instead of everyone at once? a bit fishy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 In this situation, it is a matter of courtesy and respect. People will have friends of the opposite sex, but when it gets to the point where they spend more time with them then you, that hurts. And if they don't have the courtest to at least tell you where they will be or invite you along, that may be a warning sign. If you are having an issue like this, talk it over and make the person knows how you feel. If the person still doesn't listen, remind again. If nothing changes, it will get to the point where you have to decide that enough is enough and you can't take it anymore. Respect a persons right to be friends with whomever they choose, but don't take it if they aren't showing you common respect and decency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaszar Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I dont know you or your girl, but i wouldnt trust her, it looks like she spends more time with other doods then with you, and she wont even take you with her, she being at a guys house when your not there its something you should probably worry about, if she does it as much as you say she does, going to movies with other guys, it all just sounds a little weird, i wouldnt trust her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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