HurtDude Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Well the last time my ex and i spoke it was a conversation about how she thought we would eventually be together in the future..then we talked about regular stuff and then she said "i have to go now, ill call you..i dont know when but ill call you" It has been NINE days and still no word from her. So last night I broke and sent a text saying "How are you?" and she responded immeditaly with "getting drunk" And thats it. Now what..........will she ever call....a week from now...a month....forever. I just have this burning desire to say to her..LOOK IF YOU WONT WANT ME LETS NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER FOR LIKE 5 OR 6 MONTHS AND THEN MAYBE WE CAN BE FRIENDS. I feel in the dark.....she loves me, she loves me not, she wnats me, she doesnt want me..and in the very last moments...she isnt sure about anything. keep going NC? What are the chances of her wanting me back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HurtDude Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 Someone help!!!!!....im this close to calling her right now and saying "what the hekll man i thought u wanted to be friends....and i havent heard from u in 10 days...do u wannt just end this?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwbh Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Hey hurt dude. Don't call her! DO NOT because you will push her away...she may think you're too clingy...I've heard this said a lot in this forum and its so true- silence says a thousand words. She will call you if she wants to talk to you. I'm going through a very similar thing.....and I've regret SO much getting in touch with my ex and now it just hurts so much more that I have talked to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Don't call. Sorry to have to say this but you are hoping for something that is unlikely to happen. She's almost certainly moving on and I think you should do the same. It is hard but you really should try. Sorry!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jl301 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Please don't call. Start the "NC" immediately. I know is painful right now and want to hear her voice so bad. What is the point of you calling her, if you are going to get hurt everytime you do. I know is really hard to let go, but is for your own good. Hang in there and be strong for yourself. jl301 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NR498E Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 For gods sakes dont call her.What kind of a reply is "getting drunk" anyway.Sounds to me like shes trying to get under your skin with that.I know how hard it is for you right now but just be cool and remember to be a man.Its easy to turn into a total bit*h when your hurt like you are.But you cant let that happen.You will just end up looking like a clingy wimp.Be strong self control is a virtue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acuraman Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Take the suggestion of others on this forum and don't call her. Initiate N/C with her. If she wants to call and work things out then it would be up to you to pick up the phone or just let it ring. When you texted her, she said she was "getting drunk" which meant she was out having a good time trying to move on. Its going to be hard, but its something you need to do so you can move forward in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathalie1970 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I agree with Andy. Speaking as a female, if I sent a msg like that I would be doing it to aggravate. Don't call, you sent a txt msg and if she wanted to speak to you she would have called you, not txt msgd a "getting drunk". You are not alone, be strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Relationship Coach Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 HurtD, Don't pick up that phone! There is only one thing worse than drunk dialing and that's talking to a drunk ex. You have no clue what might fly out of her mouth and cut you to pieces or worse, give you false hope. Let her hit the sauce, she's not your problem anymore. Stay NC and find someone who wants to be with you. At least your smart enough to come here for answers, because they are not at the bottom of a bottle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HurtDude Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 the thing is..im leaving this part of town in 1 week. And ill be gone for 6 months...i want to see her before i leave........... but i guess NC is the way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moondog627 Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 DON'T do anything. Give her NOTHING. Just walk away. Act like you absolutely do not care about her. In time this will become a reality. Nothing you say or do will ever get her back. By continuing to contact her you will only push her away, boost her ego, and make yourself look bad. Heed the advice of everyone here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HurtDude Posted January 24, 2006 Author Share Posted January 24, 2006 I have these ups and downs. One second I'm okay with her not being with me and I know that i deserve better...and the next moment im thinking about all the ood times we've had and how the majority of our relationships was happiness...and i see pictures of her that i havent seen before..and i keep thinking how pretty she is and how i should be DOING SOMETHING RIGHT NOW TO GET HER BACK. Instead of doing the whole "walk away" thing. I know she likes guys who chase after her, and fight for her, and shes told me many times that she likes a guy who will go after her is she ever goes away. At a loss of what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HurtDude Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 humph..well 12 days..havent heard from her.. i have a question to pose.. (mostly for the ladies) Say you broke up with your boyfriend...and u knew that in 3 weeks he was flying back to his college/university and is staying there for 6-8 months. Would u consider calling him the night before or a few nights before his flight? I ask this because im wondering if she'll call me as it comes time for me to leave..3 weeks is a good amount of time to get over someone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curlygirl47 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Sorry if I missed something you wrote earlier; I'm just catching up. Does she know you're going away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dwbh Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Hi Hurtdude, I'm guessing you want her to call before you leave. If she does call, will it make you feel better? Will it convince you that she's thinking of you and that she will miss you? She probably does think of you and miss you but she doesn't have to prove it by calling.. I don't think 3 weeks is enough to get over someone (my personal opinion) not unless you met someone and had 1 or 2 dates (but that's a generalization). She might call, she might not....its hard to say, but don't look forward to her call because you will break down and try to call her which you should NOT do. If she wants to talk to you...she will reach out, if not you will survive-try to look ahead instead of back. I just iniated NC with my boyfriend and I know it is hard...VERY...but I believe its the best for the both of us and if he wants me back he'll come back, if not...o well- his loss. I say that now, but there are times when I just break down coz I miss him so much and I miss what could have been and what was, but for me its growing pains and I'll get over it...eventually. I hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HurtDude Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Sorry if I missed something you wrote earlier; I'm just catching up. Does she know you're going away? She knows the exact date that I'm leaving.... I'm not really setting up myself for heart beak if she doesn't call. I'm just trying to decide now if I want to pick up and what i would say to her. "I thought you wanted to be friends and you havent called me in 15 days?" I have no idea if she will call... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curlygirl47 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I know how you feel; I suspect my ex likes to be chased, too. His ex-wife chases him (calls, comes by the house, cries, begs, etc.) Other girls call him even when he hasn't called them in months. I know my ex has serious insecurity issues because when we were first dating, he was extremely jealous and even toward the end he was still always asking me if he satisfied me in bed. (He has some sexual problems). So, on one hand, I think that the worst thing I can do is do what the other women are doing. I need to be the odd woman out, here --- the one that makes him curious --- the one he actually has a chance to miss and wonder about. On the other hand, I'm afraid he sees the chasing as proof of love for him, and if that's the case he'll think I don't love him enough ---not as much as the ex does, for example, and thereforeeee he won't be able to keep me. Damn! I just have to keep in mind that I did make the last contact, though it was by letter. I did not call him back the last time he called me. FYI, when we first met, he gave me his phone number and I didn't call. He called me three or four times and told me not to run away from him. I gave in --- now look where I am. Isn't it just great how they turn the tables on you? I should have run, and now it's too late --- my heart is completely over the top. I don't even care about the stupid sexual problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curlygirl47 Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I think if she did want to be friends, she'd call. She must be either feeling like she can't be friends yet (as in she still has feelings for you and has to work through them) or she's afraid to hurt you, or (the worst scenario --- she's too busy being "friends" with someone else). I'm afraid that's what is happening in the case of my ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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