2 poems please tell me what you think

[Sam _]

Somethings Wrong

 

There is a problem with me,

I am blind, but I still see,

I see the ruin of the nation,

I see the birth of creation,

I see things that haven't come yet,

I know people that I haven't met,

I see the fall of the poorer races,

I see the bodies of the dead, their faces,

I see the rise of evil Kings,

I see the birth of devils with wings,

I see things that a human should not,

I see through the defence of the emperor, his one weak spot,

There is a problem with me, I fear,

I am deaf but I still hear,

I hear the wolf's haunting calls,

I hear the crumbling of far away walls,

I hear the wind blowing at a ship's sails,

I hear the doomed souls screaming wails,

I hear the blood oozing from an open cut,

I hear eyes being opened and shut,

I hear the cries of unnamed,

I can hear the weeping of the unclaimed,

I can hear whispers in a lover's ear,

I can hear the tremble in a voice filled with fear,

There is something wrong with me I'm told,

I still feel, only with my soul,

I feel the hate of the man for the child,

I feel the love of the tame for the wild,

I feel the rain that falls from the sky,

I feel every exhale of breath when you sigh,

I feel the clouds gather overhead,

I feel the power in the words that God said,

I feel the joy in every single thing,

I feel the heart in every bird that will sing,

I feel the river running over rocks,

I feel the companionship of the sheep in flocks,

There is a problem with me they say,

I see only sorrow as they move away,

I hear only apologies as they leave me,

I feel only sadness when I know they cannot see.

 

 

War of Angels

There once was a war of angles, that burned the very sky,

The angels of death fought the angels of life,

Upon the ground and in the air up high,

They killed each other, whether with gun or knife,

No one knows how it started or came about,

No one tried to make peace, no one at all,

They threatened each other whether with sneer or shout,

And stared at each other over the opposite sides of the wall,

But from the side of life came an angel with glowing amber wings,

And from the side of death, a black winged monster that loved the light,

The life was a woman, who cared not for war or such things,

The death was man, who loved nothing more than to fight,

But the God's angel was forbidden to fight by her mother,

And was condemned just to watch the war between the white and the black,

But the angel of death sought revenge for the death of his brother,

And watched as the wall between them began to splinter and crack,

The amber angel broke her chains and flew to help, the others free,

The dark angel walked forward determined to draw blood,

But then they saw each other but knew it could never be,

And they both knew that the war would not do any good,

So the light pleaded with death to help her plight,

And death agreed, for many would be hurt in this foolish war,

So he walked forward with his newfound partner light,

And as he did he felt a feeling he had never felt before,

That feeling was the emotion known as love,

It had found a place in the black ones heart,

And it slipped around him like an over tight glove,

And as he looked at her, he knew from her he could never part,

But the others thought them foolish, thought they served a lost cause,

The two stood lost, their wings on fire,

No one stopped to give them thought, or to give pause,

And Satan swept them up and threw them on his pyre,

But God felt sorry but could do nothing to help the lovers,

But undeterred they held onto the world they had lighted,

And clasped their arms around each other,

And as the fire around them burned, theirs was ignited…

 

 

 

Please tell me what you think of them and what you see in them and what you feel from them.

[crazy_jenz]

Hi....

 

Wow...

 

Firstly i would just like to say i really enjoyed reading these poems...both deep and meaningful... and on first read i could grasp understanding but the more i read the morning meaning i can draw from these... how long did this take you to write? What inspired you...do you write often...if so you should share often..

 

The first poem - I really love the way you have written this one...the way you have put it together with that repetitive edge - really brings out how much "that person" feels also how often and how much of a toll this is on them and gives reason to why they think something is wrong with them...

 

I just love the emotion (depression?) that is flowing from this poem, so much to read and feel...WOW well done...

 

I have briefly read the second one...but want to read it more before i give more comments...but love it already ...

[Ålter Ego]

I am blind, but I still see...

I am deaf but I still hear...

 

 

 

What surprises me about this is that I am working on a poem right now and I have these two lines in it. Eerie.

 

As for the poems, brilliant! I loved them both. A lot of your lines speak volumes. I enjoyed both of them thoroughly. I am looking forward to seeing more of what you have to offer.

[Shadows Light]

Very very very nice...

 

I liked both of them. The first.. spoke to me. About all the things I hear and see... that others don't. It spoke about my sensitivity... saying maybe its ok for me to be so intune... my own little private heII of sorts, when I see, hear... and know. Thank-you.

 

 

The second one... ahhhh. On a personal level it hit home. The dark and light combination. The dark angel and angel of light... and their love for one another. Doomed by society and environment... yet not giving a rats butt tail.. in Love. Very nice. I liked it.

[Sam _]

I write often, yet rarely. I write at random times. I will share more. Thanks. "that person" is actually me.

[Sam _]

Very very very nice...

 

I liked both of them. The first.. spoke to me. About all the things I hear and see... that others don't. It spoke about my sensitivity... saying maybe its ok for me to be so intune... my own little private heII of sorts, when I see, hear... and know. Thank-you.

 

 

The second one... ahhhh. On a personal level it hit home. The dark and light combination. The dark angel and angel of light... and their love for one another. Doomed by society and environment... yet not giving a rats butt tail.. in Love. Very nice. I liked it.

 

Thanks. I'm glad people can relate to my poems ^_^

[Sam _]

 

What surprises me about this is that I am working on a poem right now and I have these two lines in it. Eerie.

 

As for the poems, brilliant! I loved them both. A lot of your lines speak volumes. I enjoyed both of them thoroughly. I am looking forward to seeing more of what you have to offer.

haha, yeah that is eerie. Thanks. I will try to post more poems.