ShySoul Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Ok, so I wrote this when I was 12. So if it isn't very descriptive or seems childish in any way, its cause I was a child . Focused more on the idea and theme. A World of Darkness The walls close in The lights fade out Here I am Alone In a world of darkness No hope No joy For this little boy Trapped In a world of darkness Stuck Out of luck Everyone else Runs amuck On him A slim Gray chance Anything will go right In this cold Dark night Friends lie Why does he try? He gets yelled at Like a little rat. Wait! What is is that? A single light. A ray of hope For me In a world of darkness. Wrote a sequal to to it a few years ago. If anyone cares to hear it, I'll dig it up and post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPDIME Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 That was excellent! I have been trying to write a song for my metal band about something similiar dealing with depression and seeming invisible and it seems you have written a poem that I wish I could write. Good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadows Light Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Very cool. Glad you told me you were 12 when you wrote it. Made me go back to how I felt when I was 12. Alone. Misunderstood. And although it wasn't darkness... I sometimes wish it had been. The dark would have hid me. Made me less noticiable. Could have hidden away from the teasing kids. Thanks shy... it was very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
good_charlotte_freak2 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Cool. I'm like 13. So I WAS 12. Yah Alone and everyhitng is how most of me and antmy friends feel/felt. What's the sequal? Post it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Msnak Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Shy--Hey there! Very, very good poem to be just 12 when you wrote it! You have a gift of expressing feelings and being compassionate. Seems you've been in touch with the world around you for YEARS! Proves how intelligent and how much insight you have into human experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicguy Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Shy...I like the poem a lot...good descriptive words. I remember writing my first poem when i was in 3rd grade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Thanks everyone. Seems I've inadvertantly got everyone reminisicing about their childhood. Anyone got a poem on that? musicguy - Remember what the poem was on? I think I did some really cheesy love poems for a girl around that age, but of course I never had the guts to show it to her. msnak - Hey. How you've been? Got to start forcing myself to respond to emails better. Really, I do. I'm just curious about what's around me, like to understand things as much as possible. good_charlotte - Sequel coming up shortly. RIPDIME - Think of how you feel and write it down. That's what I did when I wrote that years ago, and what I do when I write. Being invisible... alone in a crowd... lost on the highway of life.... you can think of something. And shadow - Even in the darkness some of your heart would have shone some light. I was picked on too, got along with most but didn't really have a close friend. Wrote it on a really bad day. But even then I was trying to find the silver lining in everything, leaving room for hope at the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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