Frustrated

[Caldus]

I've been making an effort to come out of my shell here in college and get more of a social life. So I've been (courageously) meeting random people pretty much anywhere I go at my school. I am already involved in one club and have been trying to meet some people in or out of classes. So tonight I am hanging out with some random people (guys and girls) and I could just barely make any conversation with anyone. I tried to be social and just be relaxed about it all, but the freakin' shyness kicked in again and again.

 

The only time I'm ever really social and having a good time is when I am drunk and I want to change that. I mean, that's really the only time I get out of my shell, is when I am drinking (duh). I just really enjoy talking about a lot of different things really, like life, philosophy, religion, computers, electronics, movies, maybe some music, and so on. But the topic is always about guy x or girl y or party z everywhere I go. I can't even relate to that stuff. I rarely party. I mean, I know people just want to get loose and have some random fun once in a while, but isn't there room for some other topic too?

 

I am just so frustrated with this because I have been having this problem since the beginning of college (2 1/2 years ago). I know I should just forget it all and realize that I am hanging around the wrong people. Sometimes I feel like I am just not fit for the college life here.

[Alabama]

Welcome to the club Caldus! I am also trying to meet people and actually have a social life, instead of just studying. It aint' freakin easy. I know it will be a long time, or possibly never, of getting over shyness. But it feels I have to find this courage inside of me, just to talk with someone! Argg! My advice, is to just keep going at it. It won't get easier, but at least as long as you try, than your effort will have a chance at succeeding. I figure the most important thing to do is to have patience and just try your best when talking with some random stranger and trying to befriend them. Good luck!

[Caldus]

Well right now I am also trying to find a job or internship somewhere which is also just as unsuccessful and I especially don't know why this is hard for an academically-oriented and motivated person like me. I'll be looking all weekend for some kind of job though.

[Caldus]

I just had a thought earlier today. Maybe if I forced myself somehow to stop thinking about it and just do what I do everyday then eventually I will all of the sudden have a social life without realizing it? This seems to work with a lot of things in life. Like forgetting about the issue yet not giving up on it.

[Alabama]

That is possible. But then life itself can have it's uncertanties, too. It would be a good idea to go about your normal routine as that can help relieve any stress this idea is causing you. So, keep it up.