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Ten Years......


romantic sweetheart

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Ten Years

 

Thought I saw you today

The you of ten years ago

With your hair long, in your eyes

Your silver chain with a hummingbird on it

The old white T-shirts and a house with nothing in it

The you who watched television in the dark

And drank soda in small brandy glasses

 

Thought I saw you in your old car

A Buick Wildcat with peeling paint

Was it you

Was it…you….

The you who made me drive to remote hills

Or wait under bridges to meet you

The you who brought me poetry and watermelon

And made me go to the ocean at night

With candles and bottles of raspberry wine

This you, the you with a Mexican accent

And dark eyes

 

Thought it was you, driving along those rain-soaked

Coastal streets, never stopping to wave

You, who let me ride in, but never drive, that car

The you who wanted thunderstorms

Because they were intimidating

And the you who said I was a baby seal

And a mouse, a beautiful model

 

I wanted it to be you

In the dark, winding roads, wet, lush ferns

And spicy ocean scents under eucalyptus leaves

You with music and days without any word

From you..Where did you go?

 

Why did you leave

Why did you disappear

Where did you take my life

My life that stopped ten years ago

Stopped when you became silent

Never to return

 

Was it you

You, your eyes dark-shadowed in twilight

You, who only kissed me once

In a hotel in San Francisco

Then never spoke to me again

You of mountains and oceans and the overlooks

The city overlooks where you came close to me

And asked, "Why did you never say you loved me?"

I couldn't answer then, I couldn't

Answer

 

Thought I saw you, ten years

Saw ten years pass before me

Saw ten years streaming out like stars

In a spiraling white river

I saw you, I was blinded

By the ten years that rented

The ground in two, a chasm

Dry, without any oceans

Without the plants that curled at our feet

Without tears that sluice the land

Cultivating a bloom that struggles

Against the relentless rain

 

You who denied ever knowing me

In the last days

And ten years later I wonder

If you have ever had fleeting thoughts

…of me……

 

Was it you tonight

Turning left onto highway 101

Misting up my eyes and

Lifting my heart into a wild rhythm

Casting a forever sidelong glance

Into the gulf of a decade of pain

Only to smile for a second and say

"Don't go"

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