Steven1607307306 Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 My emotions are lost in this world, Dreams and reality are swirled and hurled around in my mind. Cut my veins into segments, My heart disaugments, Leaving me lightheaded From the blood I've spilled, The Red blood cells I've Killed. Just to forget the Pain inside, I tried, and I tried, But I couldn't hide. And it's an addiction, I talk to people, yet no one listens. Watching as the blood pumps down my wrist, Hoping to die, but instead I'm kissed. Kissed by an Angel. Tries to give me one Last chance, One Last dance, I have one Last stance, To find purpose and meaning, To halt my grieving, My ****ing mind is so deceiving! I feel like leaving, This god damned world, And be hurled... Into an Eternal Rest, My hunger for life wears thin by the beating of, Test after test. I long for death, But only after one Last Breath... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLegend Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 just..wow. I especially like the last part! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Wow is right. Great. Love the last couple of lines. Take it one breath at a time, and in one of those breaths you'll find reason to keep going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven1607307306 Posted January 7, 2006 Author Share Posted January 7, 2006 Thanks for the replies, guys....really. The irony is...I didn't realize how much I need life right now until I wrote that last line. I honestly started to write that before I was gonna kill myself, but I started thinking. I started thinking about how young I am, and there are plenty of years ahead of me that can help me change. And the kissed by an angel part, was about my first attempt to kill myself, but for some reason or another, somebody decided it wasn't my time to go yet. Haha, anyway thanx for the replies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Steven, I'm so glad that you are feeling better and didn't succeed at killing yourself before. You've gotten another chance, make the most of it. There is so much in life to enjoy. As someone who has often questioned why I am here, I know how pointless things can seem. But there is always something better out there and reason to not give up hope. Take care and if you ever feel like talking, feel free to write me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven1607307306 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 Take care and if you ever feel like talking, feel free to write me. Thanks alot that means alot to me...not many people I can talk to lately. Especially my dad, if I even hint at any "thoughts" then he takes me to my doctor... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outcast-Angel Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Thanks alot that means alot to me...not many people I can talk to lately. Especially my dad, if I even hint at any "thoughts" then he takes me to my doctor... steven, there are lots of people on ENA that you can talk to, myself included! i know that sometimes parental units are hopelessly blind to things, as well as having a talent for being deaf to certain words.. but i suppose ignorance really is bliss, right? especially if they just don't know how to react, or how to help you. it is good that he cares enough to get you medical help though.. i've been told that it can be a good thing. i personally avoid them like the plague.. but that's just me. and even i am aware that i should be seeing them more often. but um.. your poem was really amazing. personally, i thought the second stanza was more powerful, i absolutely adore the part that goes "Tries to give me one Last chance, One Last dance, I have one Last stance, To find purpose and meaning, To halt my grieving, My ****ing mind is so deceiving! I feel like leaving" i was right there, felt anguish and anger, a tinsiest bit of desperation.. the sadness, and loneliness.. but em.. yeah^_^ the only things i'd change are a)you used "hurled" twice to describe an action.. i'd avoid doing that, cause i'm sure you could find a more powerful way of saying essentially the same thing. and b)it doesn't flow very well at some parts.. i know, it's super hard to get it to just flow, i have a hard time sometimes, too. best suggestion i have is to just read it outloud to yourself. where ever you pause even for a second, that's where a new line should be. and don't worry about punctuation so much.. not that you have to take my advice.. you didn't even ask for it. but um.. good work! and i really hope you're feeling better soon.. i'm glad that writting this made you realise how much you still want to live! ~OA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Steven, like outcast angel said, there are lots of people on this site who would be willing to talk to you or just lend an ear to your problems. Don't be shy or feel embarrassed about your situation, thats why most of us are here, to help others in any way we can. It's good that your dad cares enough that he wants you to get help. But I'm guessing the help you want most from him is just him being there for you and listening to you. I feel the same way with my dad. Just want to feel like he cares and wants to take an interest in how you are feeling. I think something to remember is that parents are human to and as much as we want them to be there, often times they have their own problems and don't know how to deal with it, let alone our stuff. It doesn't mean they don't care, it's just that they aren't good at that stuff. Try to see that he cares in whatever way he is able to show it, even if its not exactly what we want. It's hard, but its the best we can do and it will help us in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven1607307306 Posted January 8, 2006 Author Share Posted January 8, 2006 Yea, I would like to just thank everyone whon is a part of this site, I always know I can talk to someone and I don't feel embarrassed about it... Thanx Outcast-Angel for that advice on the poem, it was really good advice, but I write a little differently. First of all I don't think about what I'm gonna write and I never edit it. In my opnion, the first thing I write is what was meant for me to write, and I can't ignore those raw feelings of emotion, but seriously, thanks for your help. And thank you Shy Soul, you pretty much read my mind about my dad...all the help I really want from him is to listen to my feelings without him freaking out. I know that medical help is needed for SOME people...but not for everyone, and it definitely isn't for me. I don't know why...I just don't like it, I'd rather just talk to someone who shares the same feelings as me. Anyways, thank you all for your inspiring help and sharing your opinions with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outcast-Angel Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 that's totally cool that you have a firm grip on your own writting style^_^ cudos on that! i agree, raw emotions do make for the best poetry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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