Rejecting Rejection

[venus777]

8 hours south through the rain

Music bumping, I thought not of the pain

Of 9 years past.

 

My teeth clenched, I drove I drove and I drove

I did not stop til I got there

 

Beauty met me in the smiles of friends

In the gentle caresses of a mother and child

Sweet caring

That I knew distorted

By mental illness and lithium pills

And sweaty dreams of my mother turning into a man

Big roaches, statues statues statues of Mary,

Rosaries and 5 Life Sentences to Purgatory

 

And my heart tightens like my throat does

Wish something different in this world

That I could give

Than what I knew and heard

My diary burned,

She is a Satan Worshipper

Bad Girl Bad Girl Bad Girl

 

And… the fists in my face my body all bent

The tears ripped from my body with abandon ment

Memories like reflections all distorted and confused

I did not notice the empty chairs

In the nonsensical world of mental delusion

 

I was a mischievous girl with black nails

And green painted lips

Rejecting rejecting rejecting

Rejection

Fearing Genetics

 

And the gentle smooth voice of a friend as she says

I’m Sorry.

I’m Sorry.

I’m Sorry that happened to you

I’m glad you escaped.

Washes over me.

 

I wish I were a child again

So I could bury my head in your shoulder

Feel sweet caresses

And hear you say

You Are Good. I Love You.

[ShySoul]

Nice. I wish it was possible to go back to being a child again, to have the kind of wonderful childhood we all wish we could have, one that isn't filled with all the mixed up issues that seem to be all to common. I'm sorry or what you experienced. But the past is the past, can't be changed. What counts now is that we look to the future.

[venus777]

oh well, it's more than that. i have a little sister and brother that live with my parents.

[ShySoul]

Ah, thats a little different. Hope you can work through the issues so you can be around your siblings.