registered Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 I wrote this last week... I felt better after writing it but today I felt like I did that day and so decided to post it on here. I was kind of disappointed when I wrote it because it made me feel better hahaha...now that I read it again it makes me feel better too. For some reason that last paragraph makes me feel good, it makes me feel like I just need to persevere and it makes me feel like I don't do anything wrong...it's not wrong to hope, it just hurts too much. I'm always hoping for something that will make me want to persevere because seemingly nothing can...but this poem seems to. Weird. A minute ago I was so down and unhappy and had tears falling from my eyes. Now I actually have a smile on my face. Life. No blood runs through my veins, the dark empty tunnels from my heart run deep. A desolate wasteland of dried up hopes - drained with efficiency by an enemy who takes pleasure in doing so. Those teeth of condescension, of belittlement and of discouragement, A beautiful bright white in colour, forever sharp. I have to forge my own armour, my own smile, made in spite, but it's never a match, no use, no hope. I stand ignorantly tall, my posture proud and my eyes intense. My neck punctured, dripping with scarlet coloured blood, the two wounds slightly blue at the edges. I'm still standing, but am I still alive? Do I want to be? I hold my fist in the air, stand firm, and do not blink. I look strong - why would my enemy dare to provoke me? I look up, and my glazed eyes ask with a gaze of bitter curiosity: "What am I doing wrong?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Fantastic. You are a great person, give great advice, and now I find out you are a great writer....... Man, is there anything you can't do? Really, I like it. Imagery and emotion leaps from it. The desolate wasteland line is an image I've used before, really sets the scene. Getting frustrations and sorrow out like that is good. You turned some dark feelings into something beautiful, and it cheered you up in the process. Great job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
registered Posted January 1, 2006 Author Share Posted January 1, 2006 Thankyou Shy that's very kind of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShySoul Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 If you have any more poems, feel free to share if you are comfortable. It feels nice to share them and I for one would be happy to read them. Hey, maybe you've discovered your calling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neva_black_n_white Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Look at you go! I really like it, I think its shows how a small amount of power can be flipped, pretty empowering I must say! I just thought it was really creative, how to me, it sempt to show how you have control over your own portrayal to others, whether or not its how you feel. I guess I can relate in a different degree, a smile of mine doesnt always mean happiness but im pretty amazing with illusions at the minute! Great work, kell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForAnother Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 the part where you say punctured in the neck, reminds me of a great movie. Seen Munich? fantastic film... crazy, weird, gruesome, but powerful. -ForAnother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
registered Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 Thanks everyone. Nope, haven't seen Munich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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