Me

[Star6]

I'm not very good at poems I know they don't always have to rhyme etc, this one doesn't, it probably doesn't make sense to you but its my feelings towards my life, its good to get it out in a poem. Please bare in mind this is my first one. I've read alot of poems on here and they are VERY good, well done.

My Old Life

I was once alone,

A loner you might say,

Never went out,

Stayed in.

 

You could say I was unsociable

I was afraid to go outside,

I never went out with friends,

Never done anything, content with staying in.

 

Each night I was indoors,

with my mother,

who is alcoholic,

Name calling, Slapped, Shouted at

 

Throughtout my whole life,

I haven't had a normal mum,

I was Jealous, envious of others,

I've learnt I'm going to have to live with it

 

She won't change, not now,

I'd stay upstairs,

Listening to my mother and my father,

arguing, shouting, fighting, things smashing.

 

I felt so alone,

Emotional abuse, very hurtful,

from my own mother,

the blame for things!

 

Not being able to concentrate at school,

Breaking down in class,

Teachers talking to me,

It's all coming back to me now

 

Anger,

Hurt,

Upset,

Couldn't stand to fight her. Wouldn't say the word.

 

Next morning,

Nothing's happened, to her,

Whether she doesn't know of her actions,

I don't know

 

Under the influence of alcohol,

she starts an argument,

always name calls me,

never my brother

 

I'd die to know you love me,

I breath deep and cry,

I'm all alone!

 

My Mother,

Near rape,

Bullies,

There's to much, time can't erase in my life it will always be there.

 

 

My New Life

Going out with friends,

Sociable,

I was one of them finally,

But still envious of them

Perfect mothers,

All I wished for,

But no,

That front hadn't changed

Smoking,

Drinking,

Cannabis,

Wrong, but I was having fun

Realised, I'd spent to much time alone,

I was living a bit,

Then, was envious of friends,

again,

Jealous of looks,

Their boyfriends,

Knowing I'd never have one...

I was wrong,

I never thought,

That I'd find someone,

Quite like you,

I sought you

I found you,

Got to know you,

Kissed you,

Loved you,

Its only been 5 months together,

But I've never been so close to anyone,

It's a new life for me,

Putting my old life behind me

I was afraid to love you,

Now, I'm afraid to lose you,

I couldn't do it,

Go back to my old life, without you, I love you!

I know you love me too,

You tell me,

Lots of times,

Every single day & night.

At night when you embrace me,

Whilst I sleep,

I'm so content and comfortable with you,

I couldn't live without you now

You make me feel,

Safe,

Loved,

Cared for, for once in my life. It feels good. So good.

[registered]

Thanks for that Star6. It cheered me up.

I'm glad that you have faced the challenges in your life - you are a tougher person than most.

It's great that you can finally have some happiness in your life too - it is never too late to be happy.

 

All the best.

[Star6]

Never too late. Thanks.

[ShySoul]

Ditto to what registered said. You are a strong person for going through all that and I hope you continue to have happiness in your life.

[Star6]

Ta shysoul

[Sadness_Creeping]

Awesome, I'm glad that you found someone that can make you feel happy, I can't wait till that speical someone comes along for me, if it ever does.

Cheers!