mysterious one Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 hey here's something i wrote about a year ago... it's not one of my favorites but i thought i would see if anyone had any suggestions on making it better. thanks for reading So lost and confused, The world just spinning by. You don't know what to do, Where to go, there's no way out. Your world seems like it's crashing down, Falling apart piece by piece, Until there's nothing left. You think you have nothing to live for. You look at all you have done, And where you've gotten in the world. How you got there, was worth it, All the pains you have caused. Your life is falling apart, You just want to scream. There's no one to help, Or so it may seem. Look around you and see, You have true friends really to help. All you have to do it say the word, And they'll be there for you. They are there in times of need, All you have to do is ask, So don't suffer alone, When someone is willing to help you out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hasie Posted November 12, 2005 Share Posted November 12, 2005 Great poem! It really does capture the essense you're trying to portray. I can totally relate to it and trust that everyone else can too. How about "Who will be my someone?" "Who can be that someone?" "Someone" "Falling" "The savior" Try that Hasie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
italianstalian Posted November 20, 2005 Share Posted November 20, 2005 the savior????? please dont name your poem the SAVIOR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amour_13 Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 good poem. i like it. what about Ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysterious one Posted November 23, 2005 Author Share Posted November 23, 2005 thanks for the sugestions i like ask i'm not sure why but i really like it thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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