Why I know we'll always be together

[psyche]

I wasn't sure where to put this, but when I realized what was making me happy about this I decided this was thebest place to put it. I think, anyway. If it's wrong, sorry.

 

So the boyfriend and I are dealing with some issues right now. Trust stuff and jealousy due to the fact that I'm a theatre major and he hates theatre. It doesn't help that one of his really good friends was recently cheated on and dumped by his theatre major girlfriend for a guy she was in a play with. It was probably ill-timing for me to get involved in a play myself so soon after that whole fiasco. Last night wasn't so good because it got brought up, but I'm glad that we were able to talk about it and at least get what was going on out in the open even if we can't fix it quite yet.

 

Despite all the problems and mess, do you know why I know that we'll get through it all? Because of conversations like this one we had not 10 minutes ago.

Me: hey, real quick, how was class?

Boyfriend: what do you mean?

Me: just wanted to know how the day's gone so far

BF: islam is cool now that Wes is teaching it

Me: that's good

BF: i want to have a three way with him. and you of course

BF: i want him to teach me the ways of the instruments

Me: ahaha... lemme see the guy sometime and i'll tell you if it's in the cards ;-)

BF: anyway, that was fun. and then i had a HUGE boner throughout the entirety of contemporary moral problems

Me: whoa now...

Me: and why was this?

BF: i don't know

Me: thinking of the 3way?

Me: ;-)

BF: here's what was awkward

BF: the class was on gay marriage

Me: oh god

BF: i'll leave you with that

Me: ahahaha... *ahem* sorry, babe...

 

He makes me laugh and he's my best friend. My absolute best friend in the entire world.

 

I hope maybe that made some of you smile or something... I know getting to laugh with him made me feel a lot better about where we're going. I also wanted to post something kind of happy because I know that the strong majority are here because you're hurting for one reason or another. I hope you laughed. If you didn't, I'm sorry. It might be one of the those "you had to be there things." Just needed to put it somewhere.

[chai714]

You're dealing with trust issues, and he's talking about having a 3some with another guy, and you? How is this helping you trust him?

[RayKay]

I did move this for you to Trust & Relationships, if that's okay

 

Well, I do hope everything works out for you two...but, before you talk about forever, I think there are some major issues here.

 

For me, that conversation would not show that "forever" was in the cards.

 

Conversations, and love, can't fix everything and guarantee forever...and if you two are having "trust issues", I find it curious that if he has the issues about you, he can talk about having threesomes with others or about his crush on someone else.

 

It's also not a great thing when your partner "hates" the very thing you love and pursue as a career and passion. That shows a possible lack of compatibility and acceptance.

 

I also worry about your post that "you can't fix it yet"...problems put off don't get resolved. And problems that don't get resolved fester....

[Meow18]

That's an interesting conversation you had. I sort of agree with the others though. He's the one talking about having threesomes.. why is he having jealousy issues?

 

Anyways, I hope that everything works out for you. I can imagine it will be hard to have the one guy you love hate something you love.

[OceanEyes]

I don't think that conversation would have inspired more trust in my relationship, but that's just me.

 

I would actually advise you to be careful with a guy who is interested in a three-way with a GUY. Most straight men I know wouldn't be down with that. It's been my experience that bisexual men end up as full-out GAY men (not in all cases I'm sure, but in 100% of the cases I've encountered). It's just usually less likely for a guy to swing that way.

[melrich]

I don't get it?...Was this conversation him just joking around or was it serious?

[psyche]

hi guys, sorry. i meant to get back to this earlier, but it's been one of those long, weird days...

 

this probably is the better forum in the end, but it wasn't quite the point of the post.

sorry again, i didn't mean to cause confusion. the conversation was a complete and total joke (sans the second half - that was true) and i guess i should have been more clear on that. i see now that outside of the context of our humor, it would make someone go, "what in the world?!" yeah, sorry. the intense sense of irony and possible embarrassment of a straight man having an erection during a discussion on gay marriage just stuck me in such a way that i couldn't help but laugh my hiney off. my poor boyfriend... (sidenote: his diction was also part of the joke - he doesn't really talk like that.)

 

so... about the theatre issues...

when i say "hates", i meant something more along the lines "has trouble relating to." that's being worked on and he's trying to get more involve. i think he just feels really left out. which is where the jealousy comes from, i do believe.

as far as not trusting me, that has a little more backstory.

the beginning of the semester, i was still adjusting to being at a new school with people i didn't know. i went out with a new friend and got drunk for the first time. of course, this wasn't too long after i had told him i wouldn't. i messed up, it was my fault. he was more mad because he was terribly worried because i was with people i didn't know, in a place i didn't know, trying something for the first time. once again, he was totally justified. i got darn lucky nothing bad happened to me and that i didn't do anything stupid. (sometimes it's good to be the quiet, sad drunk...) here's the thing: coming off of a terrible hang over and with this new "friend" of mine being manipulative as all get out, i suddenly thought i was hot-snot and could take on the world and do whatever the hell i want and didn't have to take crap from anyone. i sent him and email saying some things that i shouldn't have and deeply regret now. i was unfair and hurtful.

truth be told, it took time, but we just about got it resolved. granted he's still a little wary of the "friend" as she is right next door to me. nasty girl to get involved with, i advise any of you against it. ;-) anyway, he gets to the point where he's starting to feel a lot more secure when the thing with the friend's girlfriend happens. so now he's scared again and is afraid i'm going to flip out on him one more time. we've been talking about it and he realizes that he's not being fair and is doing his best to get past what's bothering him. we're working on it together although there's not much i myself can do but stick to my promises and reassure him. he apologizes all the time and we've never just not talked about it. when one of us is feeling something, we bring it up, talk it out. this problem is something so intangible that it's not going to be fixed just like that. when i said "can't fix it yet" i meant that it can't be fixed all at once, right this very second. we're fixing it as we go and i think we're doing pretty well.

 

it's not so much that the conversation wasn't even my signal that things are fixed, it was just a reminder that the good times have always outweighed the bad. no matter how insecure we may feel, what it comes down to is that there is always this security layer of friendship and love that we can always go back to and always will.

[Meow18]

It's good you cleared some of that stuff up.. you left us all confused.

 

It sounds like you have a good relationship, even though it needs some work in certain areas. It sounds like he makes you happy, which is defininetly good!

[psyche]

haha, yeah, sorry again about that. it's been one of those weird weeks where my brain isn't firing on all 8 cylinders.