Attachment problems?

[petalbud]

Hi,.all if you've read my previous posts you'd see that ive been In and out of a depression. Well,. Ive been studying psychology at college,. and ive been wondering maybe I have an attachment problem.

 

I dont remember my childhood as being particularly happy,. i was the fat girl in the corner of the classroom who pulled out her hair,.had bald patches and didnt have any friends and felt different from everyone. Im still that girl except from that ive lost all the wieght. I stil feel differnt from everyone,. I still feel alien, I still pull out my hair, and I find it particularly dificult in trusting or "connecting" with anyone because I fear that they are going to go away and our friendship would die out.

I get scared that people would get to know me and I would get to trust them, then they'd just go away and abandon me.

i dont feel too comfotable in social situations involve large groups,. i tend to stick to one or two people in the group. i feel drained if I have to be around too many people,.

I moved countries about 3 years ago in which i had to leave all my friends and family behind. it hurt me because i realised how dependent i was on them and I didnt even know who I was. I kinda promised myself no to get too close to anyone again cause I felt so hurt and lonely and alone without my friends. And i was angry at my parents for making us move.

Me and my best friend have been having a lot of arguments lately,. and we talked the other day, in which i told her everything, I just felt like I was becoming too dependent on her, and too "close" which scared me cause I've started geting scared that she' would meet other more sociable intresting people and ditch me.

 

I dont know whats wrong with me,. I just dont feel like i fit in with anyone, I have got very few friends,. and im too sensitive and everything gets to me. Could this be an attachment problem? Or am I just clingy?

[Alabama]

It can be scary trying to make new friends, when your so used to staying in a familiar enviornment. I believe you are right; you are afraid of making new friends because they might hurt you. But try to see if you can find new friends. There are nice people out there, I'm sure. Good luck.

[petalbud]

thing Is I am ready to explore a new environment,. and things usually go wel until my insecurities kick in and I feel like i cant face the world,.and I start too feel that people would leave me anyway so I tend to back off... just a vicious cycle really,.. I feel trapped in it