So When do I call HIM back????

[Jadtt]

Ok, met this guy two weeks ago Swing dancing. Danced all night, hit it off, he gave me his phone number. Called him this past Tuesday just to let him know I'd be out again dancing on Thursday.

 

Met up with him on Thursday and we spent most of the night just talkin' away. He made a couple comments like "are you gonna call me", or "I'll tell you that story on the phone sometime"...

 

He walked me to my car and asked me what my schedule was like because he wanted to take me out. I let him know and he said he'd call me....

 

Anyway, I really got a good vibe from him and want to call him now. I don't want to rush it, but he kept on making comments like "girls never call me back" and "are you going to call me".

 

So....do I wait for him to call me? Most of my friends say YES, let the guy chase you. OR do I show him that I'm interested, call just to say hi?

 

I've had experiences in the past where guys think I'm "desperate" if I call them. When, in reality, I just want to say hi. I think it really depends on the guy, not sure.

 

He's pretty hot and I like him thus far....I just want to get to know him. Preferably, a little bit more before we go out on a date.

[yeawutever]

Usuallt it's the guys who do the calling first. Yea wait for him to call.

[DiscipleOfChange]

well, I for one would LOVE to have a girl call me. I mean, sure the guy is typically the one who does the calling but if you're interested and want him to know that then you should call him

[lady00]

If he said he would call you, let him do that. If he's interested, he will. Unless he said something like "call me and let me know when you're free" and all he said was he would call, then assume that he will call if interested.

[annie24]

What's with all his, "Are you going to call me?" comments? He said it like, 10 times. I find that rather odd. Why can't he call you?

 

The last time a guy told me like, 10 times to call him, I never did, because I just thought it was way too weird.

[Jadtt]

What's with all his, "Are you going to call me?" comments? He said it like, 10 times. I find that rather odd. Why can't he call you?

 

The last time a guy told me like, 10 times to call him, I never did, because I just thought it was way too weird.

 

I didn't think it was too odd myself. I guess he's been dissed by a bunch of chicks, so he says It's just, I know he said he would call me, but I want to show I am interested as well.

[Bethany]

Send him a text wink or a message then let him do the phoning.

[minnie]

Call him - that way you can say you have tried.

 

But dont keep calling him. If you do call, dont be the one to call him back again, allow him to call you next time.

[ShySoul]

Perhaps he's shy? Perhaps he's had bad experiences calling girls and so is afraid? I think that line about girls never calling him back indictates insecurites or fears on this subject. Probably has had bad experiences.

 

All this talk about who should call and when to call is silly. All you need to do is ask yourself one question, do you like him? If so, then pick up a phone and call. Too many people get stuck in the idea that they have follow certain scripts and designated roles. That's not life. Be your own person and do what you want to do. If you want to call, then by all means call. Call and say you have had fun with him and want to hang out again. No need to make it seem formal or like a serious date, just meeting up. Odds are he will respond very favorably. Of course, he should make some effort as well. So if it becomes a pattern of you doing all the work, then be careful. But I don't see anything wrong with calling someone you want to talk to.

 

The last time a guy told me like, 10 times to call him, I never did, because I just thought it was way too weird.

 

You may have missed out on the most incredible guy you will ever meet because of something like him being shy, nervous about calling a girl, not a phone person, or him being scared because of past expereinces calling girls who dissed him. At least give a guy a chance. What harm can possible come by calling a guy?

[Belle]

In my experience, if you call right off the bat you're not going to much like the results in the long run. If he can't man up and call you, he's never going to be that interested in pursuing you like most men are willing to when they really like a girl. Just be patient. If he doesn't call, he wasn't interested enough and he wouldn't have been the right guy for you anyway. Sorry, but we haven't evolved that much. No excuses.

 

Best of luck,

Belle

[Jadtt]

You may have missed out on the most incredible guy you will ever meet because of something like him being shy, nervous about calling a girl, not a phone person, or him being scared because of past expereinces calling girls who dissed him. At least give a guy a chance. What harm can possible come by calling a guy?

 

Shy,

 

This is awesome advice.

 

I get the feeling from this guy (in our short conversations) that he has bad luck with women. He is from CA and said "Michigan chicks never call me back". In fact, he stated that he got the idea that most of us women in MI believe a guy is "stalker" quality if they call too much.

 

My heart tells me to call him, but I don't want to do all the work. I just want to show that I am interested, I do like him, I did have a great time with him....in fact, I had an incredible time with him! Totally incredible! I knew within 10 seconds of meeting this guy that he is someone I would like to get to know. I don't want to be the pursuer, but is it really bad to say "Hey, Hi, How are you...when would you like to hook up?".

[ShySoul]

Well, I have a lot of relatives in Michigan and I'm from California as well. I know there are some great girls in Michigan, he must have ran into the bad ones. Show him your different. Do it for your state.

 

Don't see anything wrong with what you are saying. Hope it works.

[minnie]

Like i said - i think you should call, but be careful you dont end up the one doing all the work. I doubt that would happen - it sounds like he really likes you.

[Jadtt]

Thanks to everyone for your awesome advice!!!

 

I just came to the conclusion that I am going to relax and not give him a call. I called him initially when he first gave me his number. Although we hung out on Thursday and had a great time, he said he would call me to set something up and I really would like to see if he will follow through with that.

 

Maybe after a date, maybe after we hang out this week, I will have no problems giving him a call. I guess I just don't want to rush anything right now because that just always backfires. And, I'm pretty sure I showed him I was interested on Thursday (per my dicussion with my friend who was observing us, she said she thinks we equally showed each other our interest).

 

Hey, maybe I am thinking too hard right now, but I want to make a good first impression. I already feel a little embarrassed because, when he walked me to my car, we hugged and it seemed like he was going to kiss me, but I just kissed him on the cheek as a "thank you" for giving me a little instruction on the dance floor. You know, he didn't seem to mind, but I'm am just a little embarrassed. I didn't know what to do!!! It was a little awkward for me for a second just because...well, it always is, isn't it? I'm new to the dating game, but I'm just that type of person!

[annie24]

He is from CA and said "Michigan chicks never call me back". In fact, he stated that he got the idea that most of us women in MI believe a guy is "stalker" quality if they call too much.

 

 

Yeah, another strange statement on his part. I grew up in CA, and live in the midwest now. What kind of a statement is that, "women in michigan never call me back?" I think he's got some serious self-esteem issues here. In other words, 3 girls he's met in Michigan never called him back, and now he's just decided to lump the other millions of michigan girls into one group.

 

Yeah, let him call you. You already called, it's his turn to make the move. It can't always be one person doing all the work

[Jadtt]

He is from CA and said "Michigan chicks never call me back". In fact, he stated that he got the idea that most of us women in MI believe a guy is "stalker" quality if they call too much.

 

 

Yeah, another strange statement on his part. I grew up in CA, and live in the midwest now. What kind of a statement is that, "women in michigan never call me back?" I think he's got some serious self-esteem issues here. In other words, 3 girls he's met in Michigan never called him back, and now he's just decided to lump the other millions of michigan girls into one group.

 

Yeah, let him call you. You already called, it's his turn to make the move. It can't always be one person doing all the work

 

I totally hear ya! I'm not going to read too much into this comment at all, I initially thought self-esteem as well, but he was using it as more of a joke with his friends.

 

We'll see how it all plays out, I definitely cannot get ANOTHER guy with self-esteem problems or I just might CRY..........

[ShySoul]

In other words, 3 girls he's met in Michigan never called him back, and now he's just decided to lump the other millions of michigan girls into one group.

 

Um... who hasn't done something similar? It may not be be right or logical, but people do it all the time. Are we going to hold it against him? If something happens to you repeatedly, you'll have a bad reaction to the entire group even if its coincidence that it happened a number of times and that it doesn't mean anything for others in the group. Never ate at a restaurant and had bad service? Then when you see another resturant in the chain, even if it is miles away from the bad one, are you going to jump at the chance to go there or are you going to recall the bad experience and try another place? I for one haven't ate at Denny's in years cause of bad service.

 

He shouldn't group people together like that. But their are two sides to every story. From an outsiders viewpoint it seems like low confidence and a reason to stay away. But if you were in his shoes it may seem like a reasonable thing. We really now nothing about his experiences with these women. For all we know they could have gotten very close, she could have promised him the world, then never called him back. If that happened to you, would you be quick to put yourself out there?

[Jadtt]

I like your point of view Shy...

 

This is why, I'm not going to knock him right away on the whole comment. I have no idea what has happened to him to make him feel that way, and I obviously do not want to discount him right away.

 

Like I said...I'm just going to wait for him to call like he said he would to set up something. It is my way of a test, to see if he really is interested. Believe me, I will give him the calling attention that he obviously requires, I just think that our world in MI is probably way different than the world in San Diego...who knows, maybe MI girls are a little different and he's just trying to get used to that.

 

In any case, I really had a great time with him thus far, and this is definitely someone I would like to get to know better. I just want to take it slow and easy and let all events play out in a fun and natural way. From what my friends observed, they believe (through his body language and how we were chatting) that he has the initial interest.

 

Now...if I like him and he likes me...hopefully, I don't screw THIS one up!!!

[Jadtt]

In my experience, if you call right off the bat you're not going to much like the results in the long run. If he can't man up and call you, he's never going to be that interested in pursuing you like most men are willing to when they really like a girl. Just be patient. If he doesn't call, he wasn't interested enough and he wouldn't have been the right guy for you anyway. Sorry, but we haven't evolved that much. No excuses.

 

Best of luck,

Belle

 

Thanks to all for the awesome advice!!!!!!!!

 

Just when I was about to call today....my phone rang and it was him. We have a date planned on Wednesday (just a quick dinner) and on Thursday we are going dancing.

 

I don't know why I had a momentary lapse of worrying about this, I am usually pretty positive. I guess maybe I just really enjoyed the time I spent with him. However, I'm a slow mover and I will be taking this one VERY slow!

 

I'm so glad his schedule is just as busy as mine.....