Group problems

[GuiltyAsCharged]

I go to a very small high school. There really aren't many groups to choose from when it comes to friends so I just hang out alot with those who I least dislike, because it would be pretty dull the be alone all the time. The problem is that this group isn't really a supportive best friends for ever group, more of a bunch of thugs united loosely around common activities such as drinking and playing computer games. As a result there is a dumb pissing contest for group pecking order going all the time.

 

I used to get picked on and was socially isolated in my previous school, and although I nowadays have alot of friends outside school and I also have many individual contacts inside school, I am still left with this group mainly as my company. Because I am not the one that gets the worst **** and don't occupy the lowest ranks of the pecking order based mostly on who is the biggest ***hole and opportunist, I have so far chosen to continue to hang out with them even though the atmosphere is hostile and non-encouraging.

 

But there comes times when I'm really furious with these people. It only takes one person to "signal the target" and everyone verbally attacks some lone victim. The power games are just so mindblowingly stupid and cruel. The rotten group spirit keeps everyone on edge and very effectively takes away human dignity. The thing I hate most about this is that their company has turned me into a very similar selfish *******, and I mainly look out only for number one nowadays, because I have experienced too many a times that trusting another person will only lead to a knife in my back. I have also learned to enjoy the group's degrading "humour" that is always on the expense of someone's dignity. The big conflict comes when I am entertained by this and at the same time am going against my morals. I wouldn't be thinking this if tonight the target would not have been me. I wouldn't care the slightest bit about this problem until I myself became the one who is robbed of human worth.

 

I just really don't know what to do, if I'd leave the group I'd lose alot of my freetime activities and it would only be hypocritical for me to leave because nowadays I'm just as much of an ***hole as the rest of them. The worst thing is really knowing that I deserve everything I get, when I got picked on in my previous school I could maintain some bits of self-respect, because I knew that I hadn't really done anything to deserve the treatment I got. That is not the case anymore.

[annie24]

Maybe you should start trying to integrate yourself into new groups. ie, join a school club, or try to make friends with those at other schools through church organizations, etc...

 

BTW - college is 100000x better. You'll find tons of people that you'll get along with, mainly because there are so many more people to chose from.

 

Hang in there - college is coming up really soon!

[mysterious one]

I agree with annie24

Try and find new people to hang out with or join a club at school

I'm around you age (turning 16 next week) and ya highschool can be tough. I go to a pretty big highschool--about 1250 people or something like that-- and there are the different groups the jocks, goths, smart kids, and so on. That is until you get to my groups that's just a different story there. But anyways a school club is a great way to spend time, or a sports team.

just try new things

hope things work out for you

[Alabama]

See if you can't find new friends to hang out with. You are not a bad person. You can still redeem yourself of all the things you've done in the group. And I second College. It is soooo much better. Good luck.